o0Tw1zt3dRaevyn0oFE2Mandy33 DNO If Owned's blog: "poem this is"

"A Restrained Love" The love I so deeply and truly have for another,I must as all times keep under lock and key.For I know that she can not reciprocate because this lady honestly does not feel the same for me. I see all of the pain and agonyshe is having to deal with in her life,and I feel at a loss because there is nothing I can do to erase her troubles or wash away the tears from her beautiful eyes. There is nothing I would like more than to be her knight in shinning armor.To protect her from the evils of this world as I keep safe and truly loved in a society full of such bitterness. Hopefully one day in the future,when it is the right time or place,I can allow myself to truly tell her just how i feel. Until that moment arrives,all I can do is give her unconditional support!! P.J. 2/5/09

"Why,Is All I Ask" Why does it have to be that when you care so much for someone,it has to hurt?Wanting ever so desperately to scream out I Love You, but knowing they shall never feel the same. Praying that in time,they shall see just how much they truly mean to you.Always asking yourself if it is worth the pain and heart ache that will come from their rejection. Maybe some of us are truly never meant to have the one we love in our life.Having to sit from afar and only wish to yourself some how you could prove your love for them. Having eyes always so swollen and full of tears because you can not get them off your mind or out of your thoughts.All i would like to know is why must love hurt one so much!! P.J. 2/5/09

"One Single Thought" For quite a while now,I have been stuck in a very deep depression mode and not being able to find my way out.Continuously feeling as if nothing can ever make me feel at ease.Staying on ege and wanting it all to end. I know that this state of mind I've been in truly isnot either good for me emotionally nor physically. Draining my body's energy out slowly,as if it were an automobile tire that has a small pin hole in it. Yet here for the past couple of days,I have been actually having some what half descent times.Not worrying about things and being able to once again be able to talk with my dear and close friends on the computer. I must say though,the past two weeks have not been the very best.For on the fourteenth of January,two thousand-nine,I lost my most closest of uncles to an accident while on his way home from work. Then on the twenty-fourth of this month,I had my thirty-seventh birthday.To no surprise,there was no celebration for that occasion.Losing my uncle John Paul was really a shock to me completely. He as the one family member I was close to other than my grandfather.Me and Paul we had worked together,lived together and partied together.Just about everything I've learned in life,I learned from my uncle. So to have the past three days be quite unevent- ful and calm, has truly bee a blessing.Being able to actually be at peace and not being so depressed is great.I want to leave now with this single No matter how hard and rough times can be in our life,always know your family and friends are there to leand a helping hand and a shoulder upon which we may lean upon for support. P.J.Page Jan28,2009 7:40am

"No Expectations" Is there really a way to get over the spliting up with someone you truly care for and love? How do we get beyond the pain and heartache that comes from such a traumatic time in life? People are always saying that you will get over it and find another. How can they possibly know how you will be feeling in a month or in a year from now? They can not foresee the future. I know all of us are destined to find love in our life,yet in the back of my mind,I often question it so much. Wondering if I shall be able to love some one as much as I did my lost love. Guess that only time will tell what is to come my way in life. All I can really do is take things one moment to the next,not at all having any kind of expectations that would be shattered. P.J.Page Jan.28,2009 7:56am

"My Friends" I know at times, i get really down and depressed. Having alot of feelings i know are not good to be having within myself. Questioning why it is i seem to always be messing up on things. Being able to talk to friends, is one of the best therapies i have found yet. Not really anything else, other than my poetry, helps me through the days that are really rough. Feeling as if everything i do or say, is always wrong. No matter how hard i try, always end up failing and making things even worse than way they were to begin with. Wanting so many times, to just be able to vanish and not having people worry about me being a burden unto them. Realizing that in this life of mine, my greatest reality is MY FRIENDS!!!! p.j.page 11/13/08 12:15 am

There are times when we realize that no matter what we do, nothing salvageable shall ever come out of it none. Wanting to go forth doing our best to both have those we love and care or be proud and happy for us, yet realizing thi dream shall always be just that, a dream. Maybe i am destined to be yet only a hermit amongst a city full of lively and joyous people. Always knowing deep within myself, that i truly do not belong here. Wishing and praying that maybe one day, i can be vanquished from this realm of existence known as life. For all i can mangae to do, is bring pain and burdens upon all that i love and care for in my world. Guess everyone was always right when i growing up, I Am Nothing Short Of A Loser!!!!!! P.J. Page 11/12/08 11:52pm

I know i may only be a simple man from way back off in the woods somewhere, but i can not help how or the way it is i feel. My heart feels as if it is being ripped apart and there's nothing i can do to stop the pain and agony. Many times i feel like i never was meant to be happy in my life, because all i seem to do is bring pain and misery to those i care for and about. Guess is my life plan that was laid out long ago by some higher power than mine. Wishing i only knew the way, to have you understand just how deeply i truly am in love ith you. Knowing now that it is not i who makes you all joyful and alive, but only sad and depressed all the time in this here life. Guess maybe i should go so that everyone can have a better life with me gone, than what they have now while i'm around. All i am good for it seems is to just be a burden to all. This is why i say, may GOD have mercy on this soul of mine. Each day that passes me by, has me thinking about how come i am such a failure at everything in life.Never being able to make people proud of me, but only having them wish me gone from society, as an outcast or danger to them. I know here soon, i shall no longer have these things or others to worry about any more. For i realize that my best place of residence or living, is in a place thats far away from anyone and everything that is living!!!!!! P.J.Page 11/12/08 10:47pm

"WHY ME IS ALL I ASK" Here you are, in the same house as i am, but i am so unable to even have you realize just what it is you mean to me. Wanting to just hold you all through the nite and not let go. Seeing you every morning i awake and knowing it is not i that makes you happy, does so much damage to both my heart and mind, i do not know just how long i will be able to handle this. Feeling as if i failed you in every way imaginable, i just want to disappear from society and never be found again. Having such a heavy heart and thinking things i know i really shouldn't. You are what keeps me so alive in this life, yet all i do is seem to keep you both upset and sad. People wonder why i am so down on myself, all i can say is i have but one simple question...... WHY ME IS ALL I ASK?? P.J.Page 11/12/08 10:29pm

"My World" Most would never believe all the many things i must endure here in this simple yet so complicated life i have.Never knowing from one moment to the next, if i am even making a difference at all. I have often wondered just what it is i actually upon this planet for and what is my purpose for living. Guessing it may have to do with trying to always bring people smiles, i dont know. There are so many times i have wanted to just give up and say the hell with it all, but i know i can not do that. For i couldnt handle the way it would make the ones i left behind feel. I always seem to be trying to cheer others up, when deep inside i always feel like both a failure and loser. Knowing i am never going to be one of those all the time happy people. Many questions surround this simple little brai i have and i do not know half the time, just what to do or say. All i can say to anyone on this planet is, WELCOME TO MY WORLD! P.J.Page 11/12/08 10:21pm

"Why Is All I Ask" Why is it that when you are in love with someone, it must go and hurt so very much? Making you do and think things you probably never would any other time in your life here on Earth. Why must we as humans suffer so much pain because of feelings and emotions that flood us like some tropical storm ripping across an isaland? Do we ever really never have pain in life? Why is it, that when your heart belongs to someone, it is always broken it seems? Never really knowing how to fix things yet always making them worse as each day passes us on by. I guess these are just a few of the questions i ask myself everyday. Wishing to one day undestand this thing people call LOVE. So, about all i can really say or ask now is WHY!!!!!!! P.J. Page 10-30-08 4:39a.m.