10 years ago we vowed to love each other forever. That is the last promise that I made and the last one that I will keep forever.
I told you that I wouldn’t ask questions. You told me that I wouldn’t like the answers if I did. I have a million questions that will go unanswered once again and I don’t know what to do with them.
I’m having such a hard time understanding how you can tell me that you think about us, that you want to grow old with me, that you want to share your life with me, that you’re afraid I will hurt you intentionally because of the past, that you wouldn’t ask me to move out there unless you were sure that we were going to try to make a life together, that you think of me, that you want to spend the rest of your life making up for the pain, that you dream of me, that you love me (and mean it, because I know that you meant it) … and then tell me that you don’t want to see me anymore. I don’t understand how you can look me right in the eye and tell me you love me and then turn around and let me go, again!! But most of all … for the life of me, I cannot grasp why, after letting you rip my heart out three times already, I’m here again!! Right back where I started … with my heart in a million pieces. I begged you not to do this to me again … I made it clear the power that you hold over me … my heart can’t take this … my soul can’t survive this again.
When we met, you touched me in a way that no man has ever touched me. I felt it the moment we met. I still feel it when I see you … I feel it when you hold me. I feel it when you kiss me. I feel it when you tell me you love me. When you leave, I can’t breath. When you take away your love, I can’t love. When I lose you, I lose who I am … you gave me a glimpse of the real me and for a brief moment I could feel that love again.
Please, please give me back my heart and help me understand!!
