You see a friend walking blindly into what is equal to the fires of hell, what do you do? Do you sit and watch this person burn slowly or do you turn your back and walk away? I know it is a metaphorical mess of a question, but none-the-less the type of thing I am faced with today. I have a friend who is in my mind is put in a situation where he is in essence walking into the flames, and I am not sure I can bear to watch him go through that pain.
Ok, the situation is an ex coming back that hurt this person very badly . . . VERY badly. This ex now wants forgiveness and blah blah blah and I can’t tell my friend to accept the apology and take her back. I can’t watch him go through that bullshit again. I can’t sit back and watch him suffer just so she can be happy. The relationship was not that good the first time around but he would have never believed that, he loves this woman and never would have heard an ill word spoken about her. Which, honestly I do not know her so I can not say anything ill of her as a person, just for the way she treated my friend. I’ve always felt that relationships are meant to be 50/50, an equal opportunity destroyer if you will. Yet, for some reason it didn’t work that way, he was destroyed and she got to move happily along.
This all happened months ago and she never showed an ounce of remorse for what she did to him. She never once tried to patch things up with him. As a matter of fact she was all loving and flirty with another man by what I understand and ex if I am not mistaken. I have never spoken with her, hell never even been to her page so I am going on what I heard on that one. Regardless though, she for some reason didn’t want to be with my friend a few moths ago and was very clear about that, but now all of a sudden she does again? Hmm, what happened I wonder, did her other ex decide that he didn’t want to be with her? Did she boot him and think that my friend would always be there to take her back . . . So then a month or two from now when she is over her little “anger” she can kick my friend off to the side again?! NO I do not have proof of this as a fact, just what I believe it to be. I believe the woman is not truly a woman if she is going to play games with someone’s heart, emotions, and life. You know what though? Months ago I pushed my friend to work things out with her, to do what it takes to make her happy . . . Bullshit I now feel she is too selfish and self centered to deserve the love my friend has for her.
Yes yes I know that many of you are going to be thinking that I am jealous and that is why I am saying these things. Ok, I will give you that to an extent . . . I am jealous of the fact that he puts his entire emotional well being in this woman’s hands and I am the one who helps to pick up the pieces. I am jealous that she has had a great man in her life that she threw away and is now getting a second chance and will probably do the same again. Am I jealous of her relationship with him though . . . No I am secure with my relationship with him. He knows I care very deeply for him and would never try to hurt him. He knows that he can come to me any time day or night and I will be here for him. I told him some things last night though that needed to be said.
I told him that as much as I love him and cherish his friendship I can not watch him go through that again. I can not watch him walk into those flames only to come out charred and burnt again. I watched him fall apart last time, I watched him crumble . . . I talked to him and listened to him all hours of day and night tell me how this was the love of his life. I listened and I consoled and I listened some more. I reminded him how much I care for him, how I stayed away from him because it made his girlfriend unhappy for him to talk to me. I gave up what I had with him so she could have what she wanted with him for her to throw him back at me bloody and bruised. I helped the wounds to heal and helped him get back on his feet for her to come back and pull this stupid shit. No, I will not do that again, I will not watch him collapse and I sure as hell won’t put him back together again.
Who the hell am I kidding, yes I will. He will forgive her and take her back and try to live out his happily ever after. I will step back and never hear from him and never know what is going on with him. Then one day she will decide that he is not what she wants and he will come to me and I will do the same things again. I will listen to how wonderful she is and how he only wants to be with her and no one else will ever be that special to him and why can’t she see how amazing she is . . . I’ll agree that she is that great. I’ll bite my tongue and swallow my own blood just so he will never have to know how much it kills me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him feel better - I’ll smile and console and comfort.
I told him . . . It’s true what they say . . . Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. He hoped and hoped that she would come back to him . . . But does he really want that now? Of course he does . . . He loves her and no amount of me warning him will change that. So, what the hell would you do?
