Stay's blog: "My thoughts"

I OPEN THE DOOR TO AN EMPTY HOUSE FULL OF ALL THE THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID, ALL THE THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE, AND FULL OF A LONLINESS THAT HOLDS ME WITHIN THE WALLS. I HAVE ADDED THINGS HERE AND THERE TO MAKE IT FEEL MORE OF HOME AND YET THE EMPTINESS OF WHAT IS NOT FILLS IT TO THE CEILING. WHILE I LIE AWAKE IN A BED FULL OF SHEETS AND PILLOWS STAINED WITH TEARS I STARE AT THE CEILING AND REMEMBER THE DAY THAT THIS HOME BECAME NOTHING MORE THAN A SHELL OF WOOD, BRICK, AND NAILS. WHAT AM I DOING? WHY DO I FEEL STUCK HERE? THERE IS NOTHING MORE LEFT TO SALVAGE BETWEEN THESE WALLS AND YET I FEEL COMPELLED TO STAY COMPELLED TO NOT WALK AWAY. EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL TIES TO NOTHING ANYMORE; WITHIN THE WALLS THERE IS ANGER, HATRED, AND A SCREAMING VOICE. I HAVE LOCKED THE DOORS BEHIND ME AND I KEEP SCREAMING FOR THE WALLS TO TAKE ME AWAY; TAKE THE PAIN, ANGER, AND HATRED FROM ME SO THAT MAYBE I CAN LIVE AGAIN.
I HEAR THE VOICES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOORS, THE BANGING FOR ME TO LET THEM IN. A SHOUT OF THERES MORE TO LIFE THAN AN EMPTY HOUSE FULL OF ALL THE THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID, ALL THE THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE, AND FULL OF A LONLINESS DRAGGING ME DOWN. THEN OUT OF ALL THE SHOUTING VOICES I HEAR THE FAINTNESS OF TWO LONELY SOULS. THEY WHISPER, MOMMIE WE NEED YOU, WE MISS YOU, AND WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE STANDING OR NOT STANDING HERE COME HOME. THERES A PLACE THAT WE WAIT FOR YOU TO COME FULL OF THINGS FOR YOU TO HEAR, SO MANY THINGS FOR US TO DO, AND FULL OF A HAPPINESS AND LOVE LIKE NO OTHER. PLEASE MOMMIE WE ARE HERE AND WE LONG FOR YOU TO COME WITH US. MUSTERING THE COURAGE TO STAND AND SCREAM NO MORE, NO LONGER WILL I SIT IN AN EMPTY HOUSE WITH THE DOORS SHUT BEHIND ME. I LOVE AND MISS YOU BUT I HAVE TO GO THERE IS SO MUCH MORE THAT I HAVE TO BE AND SO MUCH MORE THAT I NEED TO HAVE THAN JUST AN EMPTY HOUSE TO SWALLOW MY SOUL. I HAVE THE POWER TO WALK OUT OF THIS PLACE AND A POWER I TAKE TO BUST DOWN THE DOORS WHERE IN A FLASH ALL THAT I SEE ARE THE ANGELIC FACES OF THE LIFE I GAVE. TWO FACES AMIDST A CROWD OF PEOPLE THAT ARE FULL OF LOVE FOR ME AND TWO FACES OF THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTER IN MY LIFE. I WHISPER, MOMMIES HERE AND I AM READY PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE PLACE THAT I HAVE LONGED FOR ALL ALONG. I LOVE YOU. WITH HANDS IN HAND I AM SAVED BY THE ONLY TWO ANGELS I HAVE GIVEN LIFE TO AND IN THEIR LOVE SO STRONG.I AM HOME.

Staylee Dawn