Stay's blog: "My thoughts"

I am stuck in a place in between reality and dreams.
I cannot seem to find a middle ground in which to lay roots.
Is there such a thing as to be lost completely too either realm?
I have pondered so much of this as I have sat on that imaginary fence of the two.
I can see the lives in which I live on either side and I wonder if the two could ever co-mingle with each other.
I have been where I thought I wanted to be in each instant and yet both have left me with my heart in pieces and bleeding upon the floor.
I see a life filled with such a love that eternity itself could not tarnish and a love forbidden from the beginning and yet it draws me in as though to show me that it can be a magical thing.
I close my eyes and imagine what it would be if my life could have just been eclipsed by yours.
If I could just wake up one morning and things would have all just fallen in place the way they should have been.
We should have never had to go through any of the tragedies that we have had to endure or that we ever placed upon each other, and yet here we are screaming to each other.
Screaming in a silent voice lost to the wind and constant wondering if the other is feeling, hurting, and pondering all that we are.
I could say that at that moment when in my life I felt a need to walk away that I just stopped loving you and yet I know that to not be the truth.
You knew me, you got everything about me, you heard me cry and tried to silence those tears, you were there when I fell and needed someone to help me up, and yet our lives could not just have eclipsed.
I can look in a mirror and see your smiling face and your eyes looking lovingly upon me and I turn away as though I have just seen nothing more than a ghost.
A ghost of what I know to be true in my heart of hearts, a ghost of a love brushed ever so smoothly under the rug of what we wanted at that moment, and a ghost of a man that I let go in order to just see what I thought I was missing out on.
They tend to say the grass is never greener on the other side and I know this to be the truth for I lived that saying.
Now I ask nothing more than for you to wait for me, to trust me, to fall again for me, and yet part of me knows that it is selfish of me to ask for that.
Just as in the song that tells so much of what I want and need to say, "When our hearts meet, will we make it, will we even notice that they are eclipsed?"
Because only you have been the one that I feel knows me from the inside out and gets me when even I don't get myself.
You and I we might be broken now but in time we will fit together just right all over again in the end…..

Staylee Dawn