Fallen From Grace xOGAHx's blog: "A new begning"

Religion

An opinionated work from FALLEN FROM GRACE

 

 This is often one of the most diverse topics, often it is not spoken of because of the many different strong Opnions  that people have or because of the weak minded that let others dictate their opinions for them. Therefore they become mindless drones that follow what ever the head figure of that religion comes up with, without question or forming their own thought or opnion of the topic because they are not informed or they do not seek out the answers to there problems by researching and studding for themselves. Often times what happens is these people that do not want to look at “the other side of the fence” so to speak, start conflicts in the name of the Lord. Killing thousands of people because they believe different than they do or because they have the mind to speak there opinions because they question the teachings of the so called religious leaders because they seek a more accurate knowledge of Faith. Or simply eradicate the ones that are seeking there faith because they dare to ask more questions to understand what faith really is and to make sure that they are following what is correct. But in asking those questions it makes those so called leaders nervous because it causes them to think and face truths that they have tried to bury by saying that their bible has told them what must be done, I.e. Killing an entire race of people because they have gone against God, when really it was because the lord of the land coveted his neighbors land. Another example of this; the Salem witch trials/hunts, in which many people accused their neighbors of being against god/ being witches because they could perform better or because they had something better in life, like having better cattle in the neighbors eyes. "They must worship the devil to obtain such fine cattle." They condemned there neighbors because they are jealous and envious of what they couldn't do for themselves. .. .. Why is it so hard for people to think for themselves? Does it not say in the bible no matter what version you read "GOD helps those that helps them selves"? I think that it is because people are afraid of what they don't know and that fear is what keeps them from learning about Jehovah on a more personal and 'intimate' nature, because people have decided that the knowledge that they have is sufficient. I disagree with what people teach because if people actually took the time to search their hearts and to do the research they will see that many of the things that are being said are untrue, for example Forgiveness. In many translations of the bible it says when you 'sin' you should ask for forgiveness and it shall be granted. What many people seem to forget is that when you seek forgiveness it means that you are truly ready to repent from that sin and that you will not do that sin again. many people have eased there minds with the things that they do because they believe that all you have to do is continue to ask for forgiveness from that thing and your slate is wiped clean, and that after you ask for your forgiveness you can do it again with a clean conscious. But doesn't it make more sense if you are truly repentant in your ways that you will correct the sin that you are asking forgiveness for and not do that thing again? If you sin and continue to ask for redemption and then do it again and again, aren't you lying to Jehovah? To lie to God is even a greater sin. Breaking your word with the Power most holy and high is something that is unforgiveable. Yet people wonder why God punishes us. We do it with our own children. We punish them for doing the same thing over even though they say they are sorry and will never do it again. Each time we catch them doing the same thing we continue to punish them more severely until they learn from their mistakes. Would God not do the same with us? Most of us spend 1 day a week worshiping, and think that time is enough to dedicate to the Creator of all life. We take for granted many things, and abuse many of the beautiful things that God has put here for us to enjoy, such as the earth itself. In my own findings, I have the faith that God is in everything around us, from the trees to the stars. They are His creations and yet we only give him 30 minutes, one day a week. God's teachings have been around since the beginning of time, and yet in schools, we spend more time in one month learning the history of one nation, than we do studying Gods laws and teachings in a year. Does this make sense? No, it doesn't. At high school football games, we Pray...in one faith. But people want to remove in one nation under God from our pledge of allegiance? Does this make scene? NO. When was the last time you just sat outside on a night when shooting stars are going over and just thank our creator for the opportunity to be able to see one of his displays of power and beauty? Every living thing has beauty to it and yet we do not see it because we chose to judge it like a weed in a garden. As a race of humans we seek to be perfect but that is the unattainable. We seek uniform perfection everyone to be the same. Look around you at how people look, at how they if they do not have a cretin look they are out casted because they are different or not pleasing to the eye or if they think a little out of the ordinary they are out casted because of the differences. From what I have found out religion is about the differences that make us stronger and make us actually learn something different. For example the other day I (since as by now you have guessed I have a different onion on religion than most but my faith is very strong) it was said to me that I do not love God because I do not accept Jesus as god. See I accept Jesus as the son of god and the savior but I love Jehovah his father because with out him Jesus would have never walked the earth I do my best to honor that fact but I do not worship Jesus as God. To me it makes more sense because why not give more honor to the creator of the thing than to the thing its self it’s like a work of art do you honor the work of art or the creator of the art?. .. .. I have a very opinionated open mind about religion if you give me something to study I will study it and find the truth in what has been said I will not just accept what is told I am a person who seeks the truth of the matter threw fact not threw word of mouth and I have studded a broad spectrum of religions and I have taken what truth I can find out of them and used what has been read to form my own thoughts and opinions it is very rare that I will take the first time studying something as the truth in the matter. They have taught us in school to do your research and to double check your facts to make sure that you have the accurate answers to the questions. I have been raised this way to always think before you act it has taken me along time to learn how to do this because I was extremely impulsive and used to take the first time of hearing something as the truth but than I learned what my parents were talking about if I take the time to research and to look for the answer instead of just accepting I will find the correct way. So in my 25 years I have learned what it takes most people a life time to learn. Why is this? Could it be because I have taken the time to use common scene and to use what God has given me my brain instead of using the mind of others to think for me I THINK FOR MY SELF. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. And the great minds of this world were right when they did say KNOWLEDGE is Power. Educate yourself and learn to think for yourself do the research on your religion and listen to your heart and mind at the same time and you will find out if your religion is accrete or if it is a fraud. .. .. .. .. This is my own opinions of things from the truths that I have learned by asking questions and doing the research that was necessary. Questioning your faith is not hypocritical. Asking a question and being different for it is not wrong having faith in something that you have learned and asked and read and believe in is not wrong. It is wrong when you base your faith on an opinion that has been made for you. It’s like that saying that your parents have always said to you when you do something stupid. In this case I will alter it “If the priest told you to jump off the bridge and kill yourself in the name of God would you do it?" or would you ask why? .. .. .. .. ***this paper was not intended in any way to offend anyone but to simply make the reader open there minds so if you took offence to this work from my mind I do apologize**** ....

heavy are the thoughts that are on my mind the past few days. it will be 13 years in a few weeks since i lost you.  you were the light of my life. i can still remember your laugh and you looks.   you had my eyes and your daddies nose.  you were so beautiful.  a perfect little gift just for me and i couldnt be there to stop what happend to you.  13 years next year iw ould have been getting you your first car and teaching you to drive.  so much time has passed. so much has happend. but your still in my mind every day every hour. ive let it go long ago but it still hurts and will problay hurt me for the rest of my life.   if i could do things over i would have been there to protect you but i was too late.  i held you body that day and i cried and screamed so loud that everything was a blur.   i cursed god and everyone around for letting this happen but the fact remains the same because it was my fault i shouldnt have gone out to lunch. baby boy momma is so sorry.  i would give anything to see yoru smile again.  to hear that bubbley giggle you used to do when you were excited happy.   Momma love you so much but its time to say goodbye.  maybe one day we will see eachother again and i will hold you in my arms and squeze you tight and let you know how sorry i am and now much i love you. 

 

 

forever and always

momma 

why is it that when some one breaks your heart you feel like the world is falling down around you? something that i have never been able to figure out but i do thank this fact when some one dumps you there true colors show threw. colors that you blind yourself to threw your entire relationship. you protect yourself from them and you make excuses for them " oh hes just been working" " hes under alot of stress from work" " hes just not sleeping well" " he workes so much that he just passed out" you create in your mind something that there not and you dont notice when things start to turn into your nightmears . see when i love someone and tell that person that i love them i look past there imperfections. where as no one else in this world could find them beautiful or handsome... the person that loves them will think the world of them no matter what. loving someone means loving them all of them every lil thing that makes them there own person. becuase if you dont all your doing is just hurting that person more and more so what if there not perfect who gives a fuck. so what if there a lil messy or a lil over weight some times people just cant help it. it hurts to have trusted someone so completly than have them betray you by breaking your heart. they clame to have been your best freind as well as a lover and a grounding point but when they break your heart in this way it makes you wounder if everything they ever told you was just a lie. it makes you feel utterly worthless and degraded or in my case like a cheep whore. whale all this may hurt now. i know that it wont be hurting for long and that i will get over it and over him. but i would like to thank him for finaly showing me his true colors becuase now my blind fold is off and i see that the problem was not me it was him. and also for teaching me what kind of person he really is just by the way i got dumped in the junior high way when this could have easly been taken care of in a much easer and less harsh way with out causing problems ya know the adult way. But oh well people move on and life goes on i will go on. this is how it is and this is how it will be. Fate has better and bigger things instore for me all i gotta do is just trust in it and no one else.

so i ask this question to all you readers out there...... What does a person do when they have finaly found everything they have been looking for in life? What is left after you have put all the puzzle peaces in to you? So those of you who know me know that i am adopted and that i have been looking for both my biliogical parents for a long long time now well yall the serch is finaly over beucase i have finaly found the missing link. i found my father and it didnt go as bad as i would have expected. he wants to get to know me and who i am and is more than willing to form some sort of relationship with me. he is a great guy and i can now see where i get some of my trates from becuase i am alot like him even on the non phyical stuff like the books we read and the food we eat so its intresting to say the least. i have never before in my life felt like a whole human being untill now becuase now i know where i come from and some of why i do the things i do. i feel whole and normal and to compaire to something would be like putting together a puzzle that is really difficult like one of t hose ones that has like 3,000 peaces and than finaly putting in that last peace and it all makes sence and is compleat. well thats how i feel i was putting together my own huge puzzle and now it is complete no holes nothing half finished so to speak. and i have a very large large extended family with all my sisters and brothers i have 6 other sisters and 2 brothers and we all vary in ages so its easer to tell us appart and than to throw on top of all of that i have all my neices and nephews which is growing in numbers all the time this is a big family tree and it will only get bigger and bigger as the years go by. and we may be astranged from eachother with us all living in different parts of the country and state but as they say blood is thicker than water right. looking back at it all its alot to take in everything we have all been threw in our lifes but something that i have come to realise in my short life span life is too short to live in the past. and that it doesnt matter what you did its what your going to do that will be your driving point and who you are. I have had to do alot of searching about my self call it soul serching or what ever but i have come to learn that no matter how bad life got there was something there that was wroth all of it so i say this i live with out regrets. to have regrets means that you cant get over the past and you will let it rule your fututre instead of just letting your future be just that. if we keep looking behind us than all we will see is the ass end of situations. and we will be falling alot so look forward and keep on going dont look back life only gets better. i have had a hard time realissing these lil things in life but now that i do i can wake up each morning and smile and be truly happy becuase allthough what i have is not much. its what i have always wanted and now i have it and i wouldnt trade any one of my family extended and blood for anything in this world. and for those of you who would look down your nose at me and mine i have this to say "keep looking down at me and your gonna fall down. so pick your eyes up and look forward before you fall" anyways yall im out gotta lot of things to do today and the rest of my life to do them so untill next time think about the questions that i first put up and try to come up with an answer

I was up at work today and one of my co workers got on the the topic of love lifes cuase we were bored she askes me about mine and how it has always been. so i tell her " oh up untill about a month ago it has been like this girl meets boy, girl sleeps with boy, finds out boy is an asshole sleeps with boy a few times keeps boy on a list of who to call if bored. yall know the deal and after a few months or years take boy off list. never ending cycle untill now. I tell her i have met someone and have been unofficail seeing that someone for about a month or so than we became officil on the 22nd and my list has been tost out the window cuase im happy with this one. so than she asked me how I and my ol'man as he likes to be called met so i thought back to that day when i had run away to my safe haven (one of my freinds houses he knows who he is) because i just needed to get away from my life for a bit everything was crashing around me. so i was sitting at his computer messing around with something i think it was photoshop or one of those fun lil programs that we love to play with so much i was there for about an hour or so and in walks this person (i was trasfixed on the computer screen not bothering to look up) and my friend introduces me to one of his best freinds and next door neighbor. and i look up er around lol and make eye contact with HIM. he gets introduced as his online name and than my friend intros me as my online name why we did it that way im still not sure now he was in all black big black duster or trench coat and looked like hell (im assuming he had just gotten off work or rolled out of bed) He gave me a half assed smile and went on to talk to my freind but in that entire time he never took his eyes off me. the entire time he was there i think infact i know i was about 3 shades of red darker than i normaly was. and i had this lil voice in my head going "oooo hellooooooo nurse" lol see guys us females arnt as different as you think. and after that i didnt really get a chance to hang out with him that much becuase of some shit that had gone down we hung out maybe once and watched a movie that i only got to watch half way threw cuase i had to go to work and he wound up working on his car for most the day. yeah i know ladies typical man one day you get to hang out with a single woman and you work on your car smart huh... lol than every time i saw king kong (movie that we never finished) i would always think of that day and the poking and odd flirting that men do when there intrested but too scared to do anything about it yall know what im talking about it goes back to kindergarden of pulling pig tales and i never got to finish that movie odd enough till i started actualy hanging out wiht him again about a month ago give or take a week. we had lost contact after that and than my roommate comes in to my room one day says her cousin is comming over to fix her car so i was like cool didnt think much of it as usual went about my bussness (which was nothing i had the day off work for once) i go out side to smoke a cig about an hour later and i look down on the parking lot and see this georgious red headed creature bent over the engine of her car so i take a closer look.... the creature was HIM wearing that black wife beater that makes him look absoulity grr roar yummy for better words. so i keep going outside on the balcony to get a better "view" than i had to go up to my work to get some more cigs becuase i had smoked them all going out to get my "view" as i was walking past him he said in the same way i said "helloooooooooo nurse" "well helloooo" and i gave him the cold sholder for not talking to me for like the past 3 months got in my car and drove off and came back about 15 min latter went up stairs and del tells me that he was staying for dinner. so i go back and closter myself in my room he follows sute and just ploops him self down on my bed like he had every right in the world to be there. (men think they can do whatever they want lol) so we listen to music and talk and what not find out we have more in common than we think. and he goes with del to the store to get the meat that we were gonna have for dinner. she comes in my room when they get back and enlightens me to the fact that he wanted me something bad..... like a fat kid wants cake (my own lil interpration of it) it had started storming out by the time we got around to eating dinner and i flirted with him constantly all night and using my "more persuave mannor" (calling him an old fart becuase he had to go home and it was still early) (to which he proved me very much so wrong about the old fart part by dragging me back in my room litterly) got him to stay and it was one of the best nights and most exciting nights ive had yet to base. Im still not sure if it was the perfect timing of the storm or what but still. any ways the hopeless romantic that i work with was like so what was yalls first kiss like....i told her about that night leaving out a few details but... when HE kissed me Lightning struck outside at the exact moment our lips met...not to mention a few other times too and if your reading this baby you know im refering to the "BIG bang" at 2 am lol dont ask ppl you wouldnt wanna know lol *blush* so than he left the next morning happy i couldnt stop smiling becuase for once in my life i was happy and i still am happy to this day but that day was not the day that we hooked up noooooooooooo he wated around for about oh 3 weeks comming over every now and again (damn men take forever to make up yourminds about shit) so than my coworker askes so when did yall finaly make it official to this i reply... well the saturday i had off it was georgious outside so i had been planing a cook out in the park for like the past 2 weeks to get all our freinds together. i didnt expect for him to be there becuase i figured he would be working so i drive up to the house im suposed to pick ppl up at and hes standing outside talking to my before mentioned friend so i got him to come along... yay for me.... so we had a cook out i had beer and wondered in the "forest" went to go talk to my freind and than HE walks off into the forest and i look at my freind and tell him im going to "hunt me a man" becuase i hadent gotten him alone all afternoon so i figured that woudl be the perfect time. so i go off tripping threw nature litterly to get to the lil remote spot and talked to him a lil than we walked back to get some food he had to go and do something but i made him promise me that we were gonna go for a walk when he got back so when he got back i was gonna start a fire and chill infront of it cause there was a fire place and so i was like hmm dark out waht the hey and he takes over and builds this fire like a man would i go down to the water and talk to my roommate and my firend and i look up every now and again to see him and our other friend dragging big ass hunks of wood to the lil pavilion where they were building the fire at.. they were all acting like cave man building it too it was great. we didnt go for out walk till it was almost too dark to see on any other night but to our luck the moon was out and nothing to block its light. we go tramping threw the woods yet again and i get him to come over for the night "more presuave manor" works yet again hehehe i know im a lil stinker. that morning at about 5 am he tells me not asked me no he tells me "i clame this" i look at him and was like "is that so" "what about the rest of me" he says "thats mine too" and i said after about 30 min of trying to get it out of him "so this means what?" he looks at me and was like well "your my ol'lady". my co worker was laughing her ass off by the time i finished and that ladies and gents is how i became after my wounderfull month long stugle "furys ol' lady" and this starts yet another chapter in my life a fresh page and new begning. if i have anything to do with it.. its gonna be more than a chapter its gonna be a long long book maybe even a best seller