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Typical criticism from others:
"You know, if you stay up late tonight, it will just be harder on you in the morning. You should go to bed at a reasonable hour. Why can't you keep a normal schedule?"
The response never said:
"Maybe, but I like it that way. I like the numbness that comes with being exhausted, the oblivion, and the quiet chaos that exists only in my own mind.
Everyone else's problems are suddenly the farthest from my own, because I have things in my own life to deal with as well.
If I am tired, I have a qualified excuse to keep to myself at home, to turn off the ringer and not answer my cell phone, to evade the constant problems, drama and bullshit associated with other human beings that, most of the time, do not concern me anyway.
Sometimes, I do not even need to try to block things out, the exhaustion does it for me.
...And I like that."
You know what one of my favorite things in the world is? I'll tell you:
Each week, millions and millions of upper-class American citizens put on expensive dress clothes, load themselves into SUV's and luxury cars, and drive past homeless shelters, orphanages, prisons, rehab centers and halfway houses on their way to a very expensive and lavish church where somebody tells them how to be more like Jesus....
...That is fucking awesome, let me tell you.
"Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life.
Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want?
Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive.
If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned." -Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Go to work. Send your kids to school. Follow fashion. Act normal. Walk on the pavement. Watch television. Save for your old age. Obey the law.
Repeat after me.... "I am free."
I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.
Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success.
I will act now.
I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure.
I will act now.
Success will not wait. If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person.
I remember the first time I really understood what it was to be an American...What it was to be a patriot. I was just a kid...A million years ago, it seems sometimes. Maybe twelve. I was reading Mark Twain.
And he wrote something that struck me right down to my core...something so powerful, so true, that it changed my life. I memorized it so I could repeat it to myself, over and over across the years.
He wrote: "In a republic, who is the country? Is it the government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the government is merely a temporary servant: it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. It's function is to obey orders, not originate them.
Who, then is the country? Is it the newspaper? Is it the pulpit? Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it, they have not command, they have only their little share in the command.
In a monarchy, the king and his family are the country: In a republic it is the common voice of the people each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
It is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians.
Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man.
To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have your duty by yourself and by your country. Hold up your head. You have nothing to be ashamed of'."
It doesn't matter what the press says. It doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. It doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else:
The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences.
When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree besides the river of truth, and tell the whole world...
..."No, you move."
According to Christianity, Satan is the epitome and embodiment of all evil things, described as "the father of all lies" in the Catholic Church's Catechism (paragraph 391). It is his works that tempt humans into doing bad deeds. If something evil occurs, we can be assured that Satan had something to do with it.
The History of Satan
According to Catholicism, Satan only exists because God allows him to (The Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 395). This raises some serious issues about how righteous God can be if he allows evil to exist, but I digress. Satan, as the story goes, began as the angel Lucifer, who outrightly rejected God and rebelled against him. God cast Lucifer and those who followed him into Hell, a place of eternal torture and despair, where God was not present.
Like any good propaganda machine, Christian authorities have made sure to limit the disenimation of information on the enemy (Satan) to what they want the public to know. For example, we are never told why Satan rebelled against God. We're never given his side of the story. Were Satan's reasons for rejecting God and attempting to overthrow Him legitimate? From where I'm standing, they could certainly be considered valid if the authorities see fit to hide them from the general public!
For example, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the book that outlines Catholic beliefs in detail, has barely half a column in its index devoted to Satan and information on him, where as Jesus Christ has a full 6 pages! Sound like a propaganda machine to you, yet?
Christian authorities have made some big mistakes with their anti-Satan propaganda machine, however. Since there is so little information available about Satan, there is no record of anything he's done or any way to connect events to him. Christians simply (and lazily, I might add!) accredit evil occurences to Satan. A good example are the events of September 11th. Within weeks, a doctored picture was floating around the internet showing Satan's face in the clouds of smoke and debris eminating from the two towers, thus unfairly making Satan out to be responsible for these tragedies.
The only evidence we have to conclude Satan's utter evil is God's word, and frankly, God's word isn't worth too much. He's shown a remarkable inconsistency in his actions and words, and He's hardly above lying or dishonest conduct. Straight after giving Moses the first set of Ten Commandments (which included "Thou shalt not kill"), He let Moses go ahead and order the Levites to go on a mass-murdering rampages, which they did, but only after he talked God out of killing all the people! According to 2 Thessolonians 2:11-12, God will send a strong illusion to people so that they will believe lies, so He can condemn everyone to Hell.
After giving Moses the Ten Commandments, God orchestrated a litany of atrocities through isoltated commandments that are simply too great in number to list here. I suggest checking out the The Skeptic's Annotated Bible to see for yourself, specifically this section. These events are detailed in Exodus 32. In 2 Chronicles 18:22, God lies to prophets. Why should anyone take His word at face value if He has no problem with lying to us for no reason other than to have an excuse to condemn us to Hell?
Who's more evil? God or Satan? How can we determine this? Well, it's a simple matter of looking at the actions of both God and Satan. Who's commited more evil acts? Who's done more harm to humanity? Who's been the most oppressive? Is Satan really as bad as the "Christian Smear Campaign" makes him out to be? Let's find out...
GOD
1) God takes away Adam and Eve's eternal life, thus commiting the first murder, and holds their descendants responsible and visiting Adam and Eve's punishment down on their children. In today's moral standards, the sins of the father die with the father.
2) God destroys all life on Earth in a great flood, except for a drunk (Noah) and his family, for failing to worship Him.
3) God's tenth plague upon the Israelites was the unjustified murder of all firstborn sons in Egypt, which undoubtedly included little children.
4) Before sending the plagues to Egypt, God "hardened Pharaoh's heart" so that He wouldn't let the Israelites go, so He could have an excuse to visit horrible plagues upon them, like boils, killing cattle and murdering all firstborn sons. (Exodus 4:21)
5) God orders the Levites to kill their "every man and his neighbor" for worshipping another god. This cost 3000 lives. (Exodus 32:27)
6) God sends a plague to the Israelites, apparently feeling that mass-butchery wasn't enough of a punishment. (Exodus 32:35)
7) God kills Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brother's (whom God also slew) wife and instead "spilling his seed on the ground." (Genesis 38:8-10)
8) God kills the entire populations of Sodom and Gommorah (again, including women, children and infants) for practicing certain sexual techniques.
9) God gives all Philistines hemorrhoids in their pubic areas. (1 Samuel 5:9)
10) God kills over 50,000 people for looking at an ark. (1 Samuel 6:19)
11) God kills 70,000 people because King David decided to have a census. (1 Chronicles 21:7-14)
12) God approves of slavery, and instructs owners to beat their slaves. (Proverbs 29:19)
13) And, finally, God makes sure that if you are guilty of even the smallest transgression, you shall suffer endlessly for all eternity, following a dramatic homecoming for Jesus, who will be extremely pissed off at everyone for putting Him to death, even though it was just the Romans and even though He knew what was going to happen beforehand, and He could have easily avoided it by using His power as God to perform a miracle and prove who He was. (See the entire book of Revelation)
Satan
1) Satan, like Prometheus, gave knowledge to humanity by giving Eve the fruit from the forbidden tree. Because of Satan, humanity gained knowledge of good and evil, according to Genesis. Since we couldn't have possessed knowledge of good and evil before eating the fruit, Adam and Eve couldn't have known that eating the fruit was evil, so it seems a little harsh to punish them as severely as God did. Satan gave humans true capacity for moral judgment, unlike God, who simply expected everyone to mindlessly obey his orders.
2) There is no biblical record of Satan engaging in the murder of torture of any human being, unlike God, who is guilty (and proudly guilty) of commiting genocide.
3) There is no biblical record of Satan ever ordering someone to kill someone else, unlike God, who has repeatedly demanded the deaths of those who commit even the smallest of offenses.
4) Satan will not be holding a massively dramatic ceremony full of blood and death for the return of his son to Earth. God apparently will.
It doesn't take a mathematician to add up and compare God and Satan's respective body counts. God has, after all, killed billions of people in a great flood. Satan never did anything like that. What was the only thing Satan did "wrong"? He rebelled against God, but wouldn't you? Look at what kind of a God He is! He needlessly murders people in nearly every book and passage of the Old Testament! He created an entire race of people for the sole purpose of catering to His own ego, and then gets mad when we don't live up to our appointed role in life or question one of His decisions!
He is a ruthless, dictatorial, narcissistic, sociopathic mass murderer. If I go to Hell for not worshipping him, so much the better. I'd rather spend eternity with Satan, someone who hasn't treated the human race like disposable garbage, someone who has given knowledge to humanity rather than trying to suppress it.
It's time to stop this needless slandering of Satan's name. Satan has done nothing to deserve it. He hasn't killed anyone, publicly exonerated slavery, demanded our worship or threatened us with eternal damnation for not doing his bidding. It is God who is guilty of all these crimes. Satan's done nothing but rebel against a repugnantly unjust authority figure, and he gets eternal damnation and association and blame for all evil on Earth! Meanwhile, Jesus Christ gets a holiday named after him, and Satan was far more courageous that Christ EVER was. After all, Satan stood up to an all powerful narcissist who made it clear that He never would change His mind on any issue.
The Christian Smear Campaign toward Satan is completely unwarranted. Maybe, before criticizing Satan, they should look at the God they worship. Is Satan really a bad guy? Certainly not in comparison to God. In fact, I'd much rather have Satan running things. He just can't be worse than God.
"I simply seek justice. How can that ever be a mistake?"
As I pondered this simple thought. I smiled. Not out of happiness. But because I knew that one day, I wouldn't have to do this anymore. One day, I could stop fighting. Because one day I would win. One day, there will be no pain, no loss, no hatred.... Because of me, because I fight for you, for all of you.... One day, I will win.
I had finally come face-to-face with the Devil... And there was fear in his eyes, for the beast inside of me realized that the man inside of me was stronger than he could ever be. My present state of mind is not a pretty sight. It is a thing of Agony and Horror. But, it is also a story about Hope. It is about Revenge. Justice. And fighting for what you believe in.
You see, there's law... and there's justice. But it is rare that the two of these concepts are the same. This is holy work for me, a sacred oath. There's is no room for mistakes, and and even less for forgiveness. Criminals and scum walk free among us, skirting the "law" and getting away with offenses that chill the blood. They think that they can do it indefinitely. The bold ones even think that they can stop me. There's nothing wrong with them that a bullet in the head won't fix.
Mercy is the enemy, there's no time for understanding or compassion. There's no room for mercy ever. Mercy turns into acceptance, and eventually, it becomes forgiveness. Mercy forgives what can never be forgiven. Ever.
People think it's an obsession of mine, this unrelenting need for justice and balance. A compulsion which I must feed, as if there were an irresistible impulse to act. It's not.... I chose this life and I know what I'm doing... And on any given day, I could stop doing it. But today isn't that day. Tomorrow won't be either.
I'll let you all in on a little secret; I'm not "Superman".... Meaning that I can't fly, bullets don't bounce off my chest and I can't bend steel in my bare hands.... If I get cut, I will bleed, if I get punched, I will bruise and if I get shot in the head, I will die. End of story. Cancel the unauthorized biographies and the movie options.... But I have a invulnerable force of will and a presence that makes bad people fear me. I'm sorry if that makes good people do so as well, but I'd rather have that than everyone believing that I am a "nice guy". That sort of thinking could get me killed.
All I ever wanted to make a difference, to show the world that there were still a few good and decent people willing to fight for what was right. I don't carry guilt around like a cross for the things that I have done in the pursuit of this quest. Life is hard. Horrible things happen. Sometimes, it all goes wrong.... But we do our best and we keep doing it, even if we have to cross the line. But make no mistake; I'm a warrior, not a murderer.
Just know that everything I have done, I do for the greater good. To make this world a better place when I leave it than it was when I came into it. You see, I'm willing to put my life on the line to do what I have to. But it has got to be mine and mine alone.... No one else's. This is my fight.
I will never push or pry into others' lives. But I want to let everyone know that when you need one the most...when you are at your worst and can bear no more...that you have a savior. You will be safe again.
Simply call on me. I will be there.
I truly believe that even the darkest shadows must be cast from a great light. Even the worst of times can be transformed, if one has the required courage and resolve.
From Despair... Hope springs anew.
From Pain... our Strength is increased.
From Anger... we learn Patience and Tolerance.
From Guilt... Forgiveness is taught.
From Sorrow... we learn how to endure and to Survive.
But most important of all...
From our Hatred, we seek the most precious gift of all. We learn how to LOVE.
May whatever God you follow bless you all.
-Wolf
Since the beast is running free again, I am going to use this area to help you better protect yourself. "Forewarned is forearmed", the saying goes....
Allow me to set up a scenario:
You are walking through the shadowed forests and have lost your way. You encounter a dark predator, its eyes gleaming with intensity and fury. You may or may not be armed, but the beast has the drop on you. How do you interact with it and save your life, health and/or sanity?
1. NEVER provoke or anger Wolf needlessly. To do so would surely cause it to attack and is pointless and unnecessary.
2. Do not attempt to appeal to its' mercy, compassion or sense of "fair play". Wolf possesses none of these qualities. It is NOT human and will not be contained by your rules.
3. Do not call it by its' "birth name". EVER. That name is the name of Wolf's disguise it wears when it must interact with the public. It is no more "John" than you are a serial killer by wearing a Halloween costume.
4. Do not show fear or weakness to it, but show respect. Wolf is a predator and can smell your insecurities and flaws. If you expose them, it will use them against you. A simple nod or casual greeting can and will serve you well.
5. If, by some unforeseen miracle, it trusts you and allows you to enter its space, NEVER betray its trust. This cannot be stressed enough! Wolf, once betrayed, will hunt you to the ends of the earth to destroy you. It is nothing, if not vengeful!
6. Speak not of its' past in an effort to "humanize" Wolf. Its' human side died long ago and the beast is all that remains. Doing so will serve you no good and may actually provoke it. (See Rule#1)
7. If the beast allows you safe passage through its' realm, be a gracious guest. Observe all warnings, cautions and stay within the designated boundaries. Wolf does not take kindly to those who would snoop through its' personal things.
If you follow these basic principles, you should be relatively safe if you encounter this beast. Violation of them results in retaliation. Respect is NEVER given, it must be earned.
Thank you.
-Wolf
Allow me to see within your reality and determine just who exactly you are....
You're a person who often scorns fashion, and doesn't go along with trends.
Religion is relatively unimportant to you.
You're a person who believes they are individual and anti-social in some regards.
You're not an unpopular person, but you're not exactly the center of attention, either.
You don't really care about hanging in shopping centers or clubs with your friends every weekend - but you're hardly a basement-dweller, either.
You detest those who are sheep when it comes to fashion, like emo kids, thugs and trendy people.
Chances are, you're quite intelligent - more intelligent than the majority of your local peers, and most people in society, for that matter.
You try to associate with equally like-minded people. However, despite your above-average intelligence, I would predict you are either unemployed, in a low-paying job or are otherwise unhappy in your current employment.
However, this is NOT your permanent plan, you are currently in, or planning to go into higher education, or to start on the pathway to a far superior job.
You are cynical, you are a bit jaded and angry, you stand for justice (although you cannot deny that sometimes suffering is hilarious), but in the end, you are apathetic.
You love few things, but you do love your own comedy more that what most people accept.
You hate many things, but you don't dedicate your life to opposing them.
You are critical of others' fault even though you realize that you are imperfect.
In person, you keep mostly to yourself and your close circle of friends and/or family.
And you need to stop slouching with your chin in your palm and your ankles crossed.
Hey, you out there....
...Yes, you.
I have something that, for some reason, I just felt an incredible urge to share.
Don't get me wrong, I barely know you.
So, what I have to say may not really affect your life at all.
But, it's still something I am going to say, so please listen to me.
It's not your fault.
You're just a human being like the rest of us.
Even successful people have problems.
And something else....
You are not a failure. You never were.
You may feel like that you are not doing anything with your life, that all day long you do "nothing".
But I just want you to remember this....
You're where you are right now, because you wanted to be right here.
Doing "nothing important" isn't a waste of life or talent. It's something that you wanted more than anything, and it's what you are doing right now.
Other people expect or demand things out of you, but they're just worried. That's all.
They don't want to see you become unhappy. They don't think that you are doing what you wanted to do.
You ARE loved in some way, shape or form.
You may be loved by someone you have never even met. But their love is still there, regardless.
Well, I've said what I wanted to say.
That's all.
