Chrissy in CT's blog: "Thoughts about love"

18 years ago.... "It's been a helluva year as I sit here wondering what this new life inside of me is gonna be like. Ive lost my grandmother and my mother is in the nursing home and being alone with a newborn child and no family other than my husband is gonna be scary as hell. What will he be like, will i be able to take care of him, will he love me? How will ever know what to do?" I remember it so vividly 18 years ago today, two days before the birth of my only child. I was scared to death. As i perch on the edge of his 18th year this Thursday I can tell you there is no one in the world I love more. It has been a helluva 18 years for us both. Lots of trials and tribulations but with one thing constant. The love we have for each other is undying and forever. Kyle has his issues as does any teenager. But has never been in trouble, no drugs or alcohol and in today's world that makes me so proud. I did something right..who would have thunk it? I have raised an amazingly bright, considerate, loving young man. He is equally unambitious and perpetually lazy lol but he is a man afterall lol! We mirror each other in so many ways that its eery. He has mom's sardonic wit and takes great joy in zinging me whenever he gets a chance. He is a gentle giant...6'4 and about 230 lbs size 14 shoe but in a heartbeat second would be ready to take on anyone who messes with me. I been trying to gear him up for life...with and without me since the day he was born. Parenthood is like being a mother robin. Taking great care till the day of ultimate loving when you push them from the nest to go about a life of adventure, mistakes and love and laughter on their own. I used to joke about the day he turned 18 how I was FREE finally! But i really dont want to be. My son is my hero, the person I wake up for everyday to face life, my reason for being, my ultimate accomplishment. He has done without much but has learned how to survive. Just as the baby robins are taught to survive by their mother. He will be a good man, an excellent father and a kind giving human being. What more can I ask for? I am so proud of him. When he was born i wondered "what the hell am i gonna do with him?".... Now I wonder..."What I'm gonna do when he flies?"... Happy Birthday baby! Mom