3 Secrets For Creating More "Security" In Your
Relationship... That Keep Him From Withdrawing
I've got a quick and easy "quiz" for you
that's going let you in on your own personal IQ
when it comes to men, dating, and relationships.
This simple quiz will show you how and why
your relationships haven't been working in
the past with men... and what to do about it.
Here goes...
There are 3 elements that make it so
that what you have between you and a man is
sure to be LASTING and SECURE.
Do you know what these 3 critical elements
are?
I'll give you a second to think about it.
..
..
Give up?
The 3 critical elements that you MUST HAVE
between you and a man if you want a loving,
lasting, and secure relationship are:
Element #1 - AN Intense Level Of Attraction
Call it "chemistry".
Call it a spark.
Call it whatever you like... but if a man
doesn't "feel it" for you when it comes to this
magic something of chemistry and attraction...
then NOTHING ELSE you say or do will matter.
And I mean NOTHING ELSE matters.
You can try and say all the right things.
You can think about him all the time.
And you can do amazing things for him that
no other woman could ever know to do for him
in his life...
But if that gut-level ATTRACTION isn't there
that tells him deep down inside that he HAS to
be with you tonight and every other night... then
there isn't much you can do to change his mind
or make him feel different and really and
truly want you.
A man MUST feel a level of attraction for
you that goes DEEPER than just the common and
"Physical Attraction" a man can experience for
a woman that quickly comes and goes, but can
seem so "real".
Unfortunately, lots of women make 2 mistakes
when it comes to attraction with men that keep
them from ever being able to get past those
critical early dating stages where a man will
become more emotionally attached and involved
with a woman.
These 2 mistakes are:
-Trying to get a man's interest and attention
by using the fast, fun, and easy approach to create
"Physical Attraction" inside a man (which never
does last)
-Not knowing how that deeper level of what I
call "Emotional Attraction" works inside a man's
mind that will make him want to emotionally
open up and engage with you
These mistakes are the two most common and
certain ways to make sure your love life will
go nowhere fast with men... even when you have
the best of intentions and just want to find
a great guy to love and love you back.
There's a simple truth you need to know...
If you don't know how attraction works for
a man, and how it works differently than how it
works for most women... then you're going to end
up running in circles trying to do what you think
will work.
And in your attempts at getting a man to
like you and want to be with you... you're going
to end up pushing him away as he sees you as
desperate, "needy", clingy, or just plain overly
emotional.
The worst part is, there are a lot of smart
women out there who are really great women who
actually know on a conscious level about these
mistakes... but they just can't help but make
these same mistakes over and over anyway.
But smart women who seem to have a more natural
knack for talking to men, getting their interest,
and having men see them as "cool" and desirable
have a way of being able to AVOID these mistakes
and are NEVER seen as desperate, too needy, or
generally UNATTRACTIVE when it comes to how they
act and feel on an emotional level around men.
Here's some tips on how any woman can learn
and become a "natural" at creating that deeper
and more LASTING ATTRACTION with a man:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/NALA
Element #2 - "Emotional Engagement"
Do you know what it is that either makes
a man open up and be excited to really LISTEN
to you and UNDERSTAND what you're feeling and
going through... or shut down when he sees
how you're feeling inside?
And do you know what makes a man see your
desire to talk and share your feelings as
evidence that you're emotionally unhealthy
and the kind of woman who would only be more
trouble and irritation than she's worth?
Here's something that might blow your mind...
Did you know that you can say the exact SAME
THING to a man at different times, and you'll
get completely different responses from him?
And this isn't just because of his "mood".
The reality is that there is one significant
thing that makes all the difference in the world
when it comes to how a man sees, feels, and
RESPONDS to the way you talk and share with him...
And that's the level to which he is EMOTIONALLY
ENGAGED with you when you're talking.
Let me explain...
One of the most common ways that women end up
accidentally causing a man to close off and
WITHDRAW from them is when a man doesn't know
about, see, or understand what a women is going
through and feeling...
And then the woman gets MORE UPSET and
frustrated with him at the fact that he doesn't
seem to see or respond to her, and so SHE
closes off.
I know this is something you've experienced
over and over with men (and made some of the
same mistakes again and again in each situation)
Something happens between you and a man,
and you get that feeling in the pit of your
stomach you just can't ignore.
You know that something is "off" and not
right... and it sends your intuition and your
imagination running.
As the flood of emotions hit you, and you
FEEL what's going on throughout your body, you
want the man to both see and understand why
you would feel this way...
And you want him to UNDERSTAND you and the
way that you're feeling.
Of course, this isn't at all what most men
are going through and their emotional process.
They're often thinking... "I have NO IDEA
why she's acting this way, or what it's about,
but I don't like it and it feels awful. What is
her problem? And why is she freaking out so
much. What a nightmare. I want this to go away."
Long story short, what started off as a
misunderstanding and a situation where you
simply didn't feel good about something in the
moment, and you wanted him to see it and
respond... turned out to be something that
caused a huge DISCONNECT between you two.
And your emotional experiences led both you
AND him to feel distant and frustrated with
each other in a way that kept you from being
able to be close and feel ENGAGED in your
feelings together.
Of course, on the other hand, if you know
how to COMMUNICATE with a man... and you know
how to get him to LISTEN and RESPOND to you
in a positive way that shows that he hears
and APPRECIATES your feelings...
Then these entire situations actually
become moments where you and a man GROW CLOSER
and learn more amazing things about each other
that build your love and attraction.
Here's a great thing to read if you want
to learn more about communicating with a man
and the process of "Emotionally Engaging" with
him:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/CommunicationSecrets/
Element #3 - "Effortless" Communication
Do you ever sit there and realize that
you and a man share less with each other than
you probably share with your friends about how
you're both thinking and feeling inside?
Are you ever scared to say what you REALLY
think and feel to the man in your life?
And have you ever found out about things
that are going on for a man that you're with
and what's going on in your relationship
from someone else who hardly knows him?
Isn't a man supposed to be closer, more open,
and more honest with you than anyone else about
what's going on for him in your relationship
with you?
The answer is yes, he is.
You're supposed to be able to be closer and
more open and honest with the man in your life
than with anyone else.
But for lots of women it just doesn't work
this way.
Often times you, as the girlfriend, are the
VERY LAST person to find out what's REALLY going
on inside the mind of the man you're with.
And it's enough to make you want to scream.
Not to mention the embarrassment that you
feel realizing that everyone else might have
known what was going on with him but you...
and they just sat there and watched and said
nothing.
It can make you feel like a real fool.
But how is it that other couples, and other
women have men and relationships in their lives
where the man they're with can and does tell
them ANYTHING and EVERYTHING going on with him
first... and shares and confides in them as
close and loving partners are supposed to?
Well, I have to be the one to break the bad
news to you...
But if you haven't had this kind of open,
honest, and "effortless" communication between
you and your man in the past where you can and
do tell each other anything...
Or you don't have it now...
Then guess who's fault that is?
It's YOUR FAULT.
Period. End of story.
And this is even more true if you've had
several relationships in your life where the
level of communication you shared was AWFUL,
and you found out about all the important things
going on inside your man's mind after the fact.
There's something I've learned in my life
that I've practiced myself, and that I've
watched literally hundreds and thousands of
women use to turn their love life around almost
overnight...
And that's one simple thing-
Taking 100% PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY for
creating the kind of COMMUNICATION you want
and have in your relationship.
Here's a quick tip-
Communication IS the RESPONSE you get.
Read that again. It's extremely important.
Communication IS the RESPONSE you get.
In other words, the thing that really and
truly matters if you care about having the kind
of understanding and emotional exchange between
you and a man that you want is helping the man
you're sharing your thoughts and feelings with
actually "get" what you're saying.
And if you can do that, and spend just a
little time helping him understand you... then
you're literally HUNDREDS of times more likely to
get the RESULT you want from sharing your thoughts
and feelings in the first place.
(Often times the RESULT you're probably
looking for is to simply to feel UNDERSTOOD)
So let me ask you...
What do you think would happen if you decided
today to take 100% responsibility for the way
in which you communicate and share the very
thoughts that sneak up on you and make you
feel frustrated and upset?
Would he respond in a new and different way?
I think you'd be surprised to find out how
he would respond... and I KNOW you'd like what
you found.
One of the challenges when we're in a great
relationship is that there is SOOOOO much intense
emotional stuff happening inside us that our
minds end up literally SWIMMING in ideas and
emotions.
And because we know exactly how each of the
things that is going on looks and feels for us
inside our own head... we make the terrible
mistake of thinking that with a few simple words
in conversation that the person we're experiencing
these feelings with will instantly "get it" and
understand where we're coming from.
WRONG.
I think that if you think about it and
you're honest... even YOU don't know and
understand all the feelings, emotions, and
thoughts that are going through your head.
Point being... this mistake of assuming
that a man will have an easy time hearing and
understanding you if he would just stop and
listen to you is made 10 times worse by the
fact that men aren't often trying to RELATE
to what you're thinking and feeling anyway.
Instead, their mind is somewhere else
completely and not focused on relating and
understanding at that time.
Especially if you haven't taken the time
to ENGAGE HIM on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL to help
him get in touch with his and your feelings.
What do men often do instead of relating
to you and understanding you?
Right.
They try to SOLVE the "problem" they think
is going on that's making you feel things so
intensely in the first place...
Or they're trying to get away from the
intense feelings and emotions you're going
through in the first place... because they don't
understand them... or they're not in the mental
and emotional place to take them in and talk
to you about them.
There's a SECRET about how to get a man
in the right mental and emotional place where
he'll naturally want to listen, share, and
connect with you on a more open emotional level.
And that's by creating what I call an
Emotional Engagement with a man.
Doing this can be as simple as rubbing the
back of a man's neck gently with your hands
as he sinks into a feeling of connection and
affection with you...
Or it can be as difficult as trying to explain
to him over and over what's going on in your
relationship that's causing problems... and
having him not want to listen or talk to you
anymore.
If you want to learn the secret to creating
this kind of "Emotional Engagement" with a
man... and do it quickly and any time you like
simply by shifting a few small things about the
way you actually talk and communicate with him...
then you need to check out this letter I've
written about how to do this.
If you're ready to leave the dead-end patterns
of misunderstanding, withdrawal, and not having
a man seem to listen or care about your feelings,
then you need to check out my "Communication
Secrets For A Secure Relationship" program right
now.
This program has already taught literally
thousands of other women this essential
"relationship skill" of how to Emotionally
Engage a man and help him be a more responsive
listener and partner to you.
And I promise... the man in your life
will be happy you did and thank you for it
when he feels more free and open and honest
to talk to you and share more than he has ever
been able to with any other woman.
And he won't know why.
He'll just love it about you.
Go check out this amazing program now:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/CommunicationSecrets/
You can read all the details about my
"Communication Secrets" program, watch some
free video samples from the actual program itself,
and learn how to create the foundation for SECURITY
and CERTAINTY in your relationship with a man
if you check out this program now.
It's all right HERE:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/CommunicationSecrets/
And if you'd like to learn more about the
critical skill of knowing how to create that
deeper and more LASTING level of ATTRACTION
with a man... then read this right away:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/NALA
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of
luck in Life and Love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
