Had a nightmare that turned into a wintery hell of an odyssey last night.
It started out in Independence.
It was always night.
Always winter.
You could see your breath tracing phantoms by the pale starless light.
There was a man… a terrifying giant, living under the bridge.
As I drew close, he stood up, practically unfolded and grew more imposing.
I stopped. And bellowed what I thought was a brave taunt.
I charged- right at him.
As I got close his face became more clear.
Brown, fuzzy and disheveled. A homeless man. But he’s wily, not just wily… sadistic.
He pulls something from his tattered rags
A hypo.
And he digs it into my arm as I run past.
I know what he’s thinking.
None of it is pleasant.
I woke up, cursed my self, and went back to sleep
This time I was in Topeka… sort of.
Alternate reality even less pleasant than normal Topeka.
Perpetual night, perpetual winter.
I was some sort of liaison for the rich.
Anyway- I got to hang out with attractive people
On a luxury class train
Doing all the dirty things I love to do
With strangers
Have cocktails, tell tales, get my book funded
Etc
When I realized that I was miserable.
So it was pretty quick realizing that this was a dream
And I was outraged at my own illusion.
So I stormed out of the train, pushing a wall down like it was a door
I screamed out into the bitter night
I don’t want to be here, I want to be in control of my destiny
I hate this place!
And it was then that I realized it wasn’t just this dream of excess and false hope
It was Topeka. It was my life that I wanted out of.
And from the wilderness that I had stepped into-
that was very similar to a snow covered lake Shawnee-
Came the snap and enclose of the same luxury train.
The walls folded in from nowhere around me, and I was back in my gilded prison.
Inescapable. Intolerable. Infinite.
Bit literal for a dream, huh?
I woke up again, before my alarm clock
Just at a pretty dirty and fun part
Just for a masochistic tease I’m sure.
Hard and very aware of disappointing reality.
I remember that in that point of the dream
I wasn’t even making the best of a bad situation
I was just the victim of another’s whim.
