Some believe there is no such thing as one other person out there somewhere that you connect with on so many levels that they can be labeled as such. Others believe you will meet many people in a lifetime that touch your soul in one way or another enough to say they fit the description of a soulmate. No matter which you believe, the heartbreak and scarring from past relationships and lost loves will sometimes make it hard to trust your own feelings when someone comes along that seems just too good to be true.
Its been a long, hard road for me in this lifetime. Relationships have come and gone. I have freely given my heart away just to have the shattered remains thrown violently back at me many times. I've been torn down, emotionally raped to the point of putting up a wall so thick I thought noone would ever be able to break through it again. It's hard for me to trust, to let go of myself completely to anyone, although I feel in my heart that this is what is necessary to have the kind of love I have always dreamed of.
I'd grown weary of chasing the rainbow, the "happily ever after" ending to the fairy tale. Desperately seeking someone to share my life with, settling for partners I knew in my heart would never make me happy, constantly looking for one thing that clicked enough to say YES! this is the "ONE", knowing that it wouldnt work out... it became tiresome. I promised myself I wouldn't allow anyone to take advantage of my heart again. I went so far as to date men that I KNEW I would never connect with just because it was safer, less risk of getting hurt when you have no intention of giving yourself to a relationship.
I've learned in the few months, your past doesn't have to define you. It may have changed you, for better or worse, sometimes in ways you never realized, but it isn't who you are. Sometimes the pain you own from the past can connect you with your future.
I have been taught by a very special man, that the ugly things that may have happened in past are not things you need to hide from. If you can confront your demons, one at a time, come to terms with how they have changed your life, your beliefs, and your perceptions...they no longer have a hold on you. Your heart can be free again. Your soul never changes..you remain who you are no matter what you've gone through. YOU are still inside. You don't have to search for that everlasting love. Fate will bring it to you.
I have been given another chance, the last chance, Fate's final card...and I am absolutely leaping at it! When someone touches you so deeply that you can share everything with them..no matter how painful, embarrassing, damaging...and they only love you more for it.. THAT is your soulmate. When you find that person that you cannot breathe without, they are on your mind every minute of every day, your heart races just hearing their voice, you can talk with them about anything at all, or be silent without it feeling awkward, when their scent, or the touch of their hand sends you soaring ....if you've built the wall like I have, and someone comes along that crashes right through it instantly without even trying...it is the most incredible feeling in the world...That is your soulmate..
Giving yourself to someone so completely, and in return you are given the precious gift of their heart and soul...forever bound by mutual love, respect, trust..and much much more...you will be eternally free!
