Peeves, not pervs. Although, there are plenty of pervs going around. Present company *waves at otherwise empty room* not excluded.
Pet peeves, to be exact. Wikipedia defines them as a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to him or her, to a greater degree than others may find it. I don't know what my deal is lately, but my formerly limited list of shortsighted chagrins has expanded enough for me to.. well, enough for me to start writing about them.
I can be almost as assuredly annoyed as I can be easily amused. In one breath, I'll laugh at a dog hanging out a car window with its ears flapping in the wind, and, in the next, you might hear me scream obscenities at the driver in front of me that probably couldn't use a turn signal if his life depended on it. On a freeway full of multi-ton combinations of steel and flammable liquids operating at high velocities, you'd think it would depend on it, right?
Things that I used to find bothersome, like someone leaving the plastic ring on the gallon of milk or not putting the cap back on the toothpaste, seem so inferior these days. It could be due to the fact that I now happen to buy milk without that ridiculous ring and toothpaste with a flip-shut cap. Or maybe I just don't give a shit about things like that anymore; I'm not sure.
What's been bothersome to me as of late, you ask?!?! Okay, so you didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I have the aforementioned list, and you'll either relate or you won't.
Things that irk this lady!
- Calling me "hon" in text. First of all, I realize that it's just "honey" shortened up but, phonetically, I can't wrap my head around how fucking STUPID it sounds when my brain tries to grasp what you're saying to me. Second, while I don't mind "hun" due to its easier read, "honey", "hunnie", or any other variation of the word is not permitted when referring to yours truly. Just don't.
- Making me repeat myself. I enunciate when I speak and, chances are, if it's work-related, I sent whatever question or answer I had to you in an email for your reference. REFER TO IT.
- Inviting me to do something with you, but never getting back to me with details. This becomes substantially worse when you act like I didn't try hard enough to be at your services, spewing seemingly manipulative blather in my general direction when I finally contact you out of the sheer goodness of my heart. I shouldn't have to track you down and field your excuses for not telling me what's going or why it isn't. It was your idea, you jackwagon.
- Same as above when asking me to do a favor for you. Don't expect my help if you're not going to tell me what the fuck it is that you want.
- Leaving me a message on one social networking site about an entirely different site altogether. I don't care if it's about something you did or if it's in response to something I specifically said elsewhere, but telling me about it at another web address makes me think kind of ill of you. Even if I personally offer a link between networks doesn't mean I need your help advertising. Plus, some of my social networking sites have ZERO affiliation with others, and just because I'm not active on one when you have something to say doesn't mean I won't eventually get around to reading your dumbassery on the site to which it applies.
- Asking me questions that you already know the answer to. You're wasting my time.
- Asking me stupid questions in general. THERE ARE STUPID QUESTIONS.
- Making me repeat myself. *facepalm*
- Giving me information that I not only already have, but information that you most likely gave me yourself. When it's not requested, it gives the impression that you think I'm dumb or incompetent or both, and I'm neither. It also makes you look like a giant Douchenozzle 5000. I don't care if you're the newer model; you suckkkkk.
So concludes my list. I tried to round it off to a nice even 10, but I couldn't think of anything else that I really felt like bitching about right now. =P
What irks you? Yes, I'm asking.
