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Sometimes I cant help but sit and wonder, what it is in life I really want to be. A lot of the times I put on my mask, not letting people see the real me. The person inside thats makes people laugh, mainly because I love to see them smile. He has been locked up deep down inside, the guy you all havent seen in a while. I like my privacy,and I like people too, but mostly I am a lonesome and depressed man. Socialable, friendly and I care about my friends, I try my best to help them whenever I can. They come to me for comfort and encouragement, I am always by their side. Most of my problems and personal feelings, I try to hold them inside . I know they are my friends, and they love me for the person I am. They see my laughing eyes and my smile, but deep down it is all just a scam. CRAZY is what I feel sometimes, I just want to scream and shout. Let the tears run down my face, and then my true feelings come out. So what do you think my friends, for my eyes are wet and hazy. The man that has come before you, is he really that CRAZY!
Kind of hard to think , especially when I excessively drink. Why is it I am feeling numb, some people think drinking is dumb. Just let me drown in my sorrow, I will be better tomorrow. They say you cant keep a good man down, but I continue to have this frown. Sometimes I just cant help myself, do you think I need some help? I really don't do this all the time, last time I checked it wasn`t a crime. Now I am going insane, having bad thoughts inside my brain. Cant keep being so slack, and my whole world has become BLACK. Does that make me out to be bad, and yes now I am getting mad. All I wanted was to drink some, now a monster is what I have become. Stat away you may not want to see, what there is deep inside of me. Hey at least I don`t smoke crack, but that doesn`t stop me from being BLACK!!!
you ever dance around without a care, maybe in a crowd as people stare, sometimes i even play air guitar, i even drink pickle juice from a jar, nah, well maybe you should , loosen up a little if you could, we only live once,so be happy when you can, go ahead and tell me i am a silly little man, i don't care, i like to have fun, like going to the park and eating hotdogs in a bun, why shouldn't we all have fun once in a while, what that ain't really your style, sorry smiling makes me happy, better than always feeling so crappy, so can i please see you smile, sitting here writing, i`m on the kitchen tile, there you go see you are pretty, don`t smile alot that is a pity, that`s why i am writing all this down because i don't like to see you frown, so go ahead and lets see those teeth so white, you know you do have a right, to express your feelings whenever you can, i know i am being a silly little man, again!!
Here is another one just for you, don`t know what it is that you do. When i think of you i smile, she has her own special little style. Yes I do notice when you are not around, and sometimes you make me feel like a clown. I told them how your eyes are hazel, forgot to tell about your cute little navel. And how you dance around the room, even do it sometimes with a broom. She even likes to sing her favorite song, when i know it i will sing along. Very independent, has her own place, she likes to have a lot of space. We stay up at night and play games, tells me about her friends, cant remember all their names. She wears glasses so she can see, doesn`t know what she means to me. Sometimes I think she is on her own cloud, and yes she can be somewhat loud. Talked to her on the phone the other day, asked me if i can come over and play. Oh yeah and bring over a friend, it was just me and her in the end. Brought her a book she can read, already has everything that she needs. Well maybe not really everything, needs to find the garnet that fits here ring. Doesn`t always get enough sleep, and no I don't think she is cheap. Even though she does not spend a lot of money, her kiss kind of tastes like honey. I guess this is enough for now, just had to show her how- all my feelings just come out in a spiel. That is sometimes the way you make me feel.
friends surround me everyday, glad they are able to stay, you know i couldn`t go the day, without you here to even say, thank you for you all being there, if you weren`t here i`d pull out my hair, it shows me that you really care, we laugh so loud the people stare, wherever we go we have fun, you wouldn`t believe the things we`ve done , we even made fun of a nun, but that was really kinda dumb, for that we are surely going to hell, i hope you laugh,but please don't tell, i can here the mission bell, going down to find the things they sell, it seems to me that most friends come and go, in my mind that really does blow, the pain in my face lets it show , thats why i always drive to slow, don`t let life pass you bye, whatever you do give it your best try, i am your friend so why should i lie, even though i am a regular guy , so take these words and take them to heart, grabbing life would be a good start, if it goes to fast for you let it cart, you away and build a new part, so my friend farewell for now, eat so much today i feel like a cow, i will get up with you somehow, have a nice day and goodbye for now,
I don`t know why I bottle it up inside, I really don`t have a place I can hide. Writing all this down to let it out, even though I have no idea.... what it is all about? Angry at myself for letting people push me around, Yeah I wish I were six feet in the ground. That way I would just be rid of myself, then you can put me on my own shelf. You think you know me, but do you really? The way that sometimes I can be silly. That is just me on the surface... You cant see all the anger and pain inside, that is all the bad stuff that I hide. You want to know me, then walk in my shoes, then you will know why I always have the blues. That is why sometimes I cant sleep, then there are times when my mind gets so deep. Why do i feel like a doormat? Sometimes you make me feel like that. Sorry that I never told you so, is it time for me to just go? Get as far away from you as I can, maybe I will find the real man. The one that has been bottled up inside, and the one that no longer wants to hide.
I see the children play, they are all so merry and gay.
Man , I wish I were that way, but not on this dreary day.
I woke up feeling so blue, had a terrible dream about you.
Still dont know what to do, walking around in the morning dew.
Yes , I will go for a walk ,find me someone whom with I can talk.
See a young lady and I come to a halt, why is everything my fault?
She says "what are you talking about? ,I say "oh i just thought I would get it all out " .
She looks at me with some doubt , and asks me so why did you come out ?
So early on this cloudy day, and I ask her if she can stay .
With me and maybe I will say, then she turns to walk away.
Okay I will tel you why , and please dont think I am a weird guy.
She says you look like you need a friend, I smile and say I dont have a lot of time to spend.
Then I think well my job has come to and end, so we talk until we see the sun descend.
Dont know what happened to the time, I think this is a new friend "in my mind".
So happy that I did find , someone so friendly and kind.
We look up at the stars in outer space, then I walk her back to her place.
Actually it turns into a little chase, she turns around and sees the smile on my face.
She says I am a lot of fun, I thank her and say yeah but you won.
We turn away from the sun , and I tell her that I did have fun.
So we get to the end of the hall, where I see this big purple ball.
I ask her if I can give her a call , she says she wouldnt mind that at all.
I hate that this day has come to an end, but I am happy I found a new friend .
