When you find true love what do you do. Do you run at full force and hope things work out? Do you just go with the flow and see were it leads you? Do you get scared and run from it? Me and my soldier had a talk last night cause i was not sure what was going on. I told him i felt like i lost him and said you didn't lose me i just can't give you wanted. I told him you don't know what i want you haven't asked. You see we got in a huge fight in febuary (sp) we didn't talk for a month and a half. Then we started talking again but then he had to leave for feild training for a month. When he got back we contuied to talk and play world of warcraft together. We flirted like we use to and stuff but never really talked about what happen. So last night i brought it up and that is when he said he couldn't give me what i wanted. All i want is him i know it is going to be hard. I told him that. I told him when i left my husband i was an emtional wreak. I should have told him i need time to heal and figure myself out. Us not talking for a month and half gave me that time. It showed me that i had a great thing and i selfdestructing it cause i thought i did not deserve to be as happy as he made me feel. I told him last night that true love is hard to deal with if you have never had it before. I told him that i had done a lot of growning and that i asked him not to walk away and close his heart. I told him to go with flow and see what happens. I know that he is happy when he is talking and playing the game with me. I told him i had made a lot of bad choice in my life to try and make myself happy and none of them worked. The only one choice i made to make myself happy that worked was open my heart to him. I told them that people have told me that they have never seen me this happy when i'm talking about him not even when i was will my ex had they seen me this happy. heck my mom even said that which is big. I told him a lot more but hard to remember it all right now lol. I told him i know that is a lot to take in all at once. So right now i'm going with the flow and seeing what happens. I just hope things go well i know i have changed and that i can deal with the relationship that may be ahead of me. I just hope i get the chance to prove it.
