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sexkitten72278's blog: "Me unpissy"

created on 04/07/2008  |  http://fubar.com/me-unpissy/b205427
Ok so my guy friend who was in the military got out of the army 3 weeks ago. which i'm excited about don't get me wrong. I talked to him some the first and second week he was out. This week i haven't heard from him but i also found out he might be visting a friend in new york who is in new york from out of town. Now his fucked up cell phone doesn't work out there and he doesn't have any of his stuff cause it won't get to him till the 13. The reason i'm worried is casue the person he is seeing is a women. Now don't get me wrong i trust Matt. Plus he know a good friend of are has strong feeling for this women, But i also know that if matt is drunk it would be very easy to take advange of him due to the fact that he hasn't had sex in 5 years (well sex in person that is we have phone sex a lot LOL). The reason i'm freaking out is that i'm still not sure what his feeling for me are. When he was getting all his stuff together to get out he was all lovely dovey with me again. we talked on the phone i mean we talked then we had phone sex lol. He would be all kisses and huges and hearts on WOW. Heck he even go possive about me again callin me his and stuff. The last time we talked he kept going you have to come here how long of a drive is it blah blah blah. I'm sure i'm stressing for no reason cause i do that all time but i need to get this stuff off my chest and this is a great place to do it. I hope on the 13 or the day after to see him online again. I have e-mailed him and stuff casue i had to give him a message from his brother in law. I called him yesterday but no on answered the phone cause his dad goes to his girlfriends house on the weekends. Thanks for reading this i feel better typing this out and getting it off my chest ugh.
Well i almost lost my soldier this weekend. he went out running in 104 degree temp and collasped. Lucky he was with a friend and they got him to the hosptial.I just found out today cause he left his cell phone in his room. He is ok but now he is listen more to his body which is good now i won't have to fight with him for him to got to sleep. It was weird cause i couldn't shake this feeling like something was wrong. i went to church today and prayed for him which is weird if you know me lol. I'm just glad he is ok and stuff.

Love

When you find true love what do you do. Do you run at full force and hope things work out? Do you just go with the flow and see were it leads you? Do you get scared and run from it? Me and my soldier had a talk last night cause i was not sure what was going on. I told him i felt like i lost him and said you didn't lose me i just can't give you wanted. I told him you don't know what i want you haven't asked. You see we got in a huge fight in febuary (sp) we didn't talk for a month and a half. Then we started talking again but then he had to leave for feild training for a month. When he got back we contuied to talk and play world of warcraft together. We flirted like we use to and stuff but never really talked about what happen. So last night i brought it up and that is when he said he couldn't give me what i wanted. All i want is him i know it is going to be hard. I told him that. I told him when i left my husband i was an emtional wreak. I should have told him i need time to heal and figure myself out. Us not talking for a month and half gave me that time. It showed me that i had a great thing and i selfdestructing it cause i thought i did not deserve to be as happy as he made me feel. I told him last night that true love is hard to deal with if you have never had it before. I told him that i had done a lot of growning and that i asked him not to walk away and close his heart. I told him to go with flow and see what happens. I know that he is happy when he is talking and playing the game with me. I told him i had made a lot of bad choice in my life to try and make myself happy and none of them worked. The only one choice i made to make myself happy that worked was open my heart to him. I told them that people have told me that they have never seen me this happy when i'm talking about him not even when i was will my ex had they seen me this happy. heck my mom even said that which is big. I told him a lot more but hard to remember it all right now lol. I told him i know that is a lot to take in all at once. So right now i'm going with the flow and seeing what happens. I just hope things go well i know i have changed and that i can deal with the relationship that may be ahead of me. I just hope i get the chance to prove it.
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