Bubblewrap's blog: "Little Dick Mag!"

This why our Country is going down the tube! Its not about "race" its about paying attention to the facts!

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embar-rassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, " Ah, yes." "Well ," said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion; 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds; 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much; 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust; 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! "Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours. "

> A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of > them were Obama fans. > Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by > the teacher, All the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. > > The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again. > Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.' > The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?' > Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.' > The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. > Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, > so I'm a Republican.' > > Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron > and your dad was an idiot, What would that make you?' > With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me an Obama > fan.'

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1 No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won.

A Good Catholic Story.... A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said 'I am a Father. ' The little boy replied 'My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that. ' The priest looked up from his book and answered 'I am the Father of many. ' The boy said 'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way' The priest, getting impatient, said 'I am the Father of hundreds' and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, 'Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar. '

Ok, everyone is asking why the name “Bubblewrap”… :P Back in 2006 I took a little joy ride around the Western United States and stopped in Odessa, Texas before heading straight to Jackson, Mississippi. The ride was just less than 800 miles from Odessa to Jackson and it took me about maybe 10 to 12 hours to do it. Now when I got to Jackson MS I went straight to the Harley Shop and saw the Owner and let him know I had did my first Harley Road Trip and made it back on my own. He says “great, we leave at 8am for Odessa Texas at 8am tomorrow” for the Air Show. I told him I had just got in from there and my but was still sore. He said that I could go or stay home it was up to me. Well as we pulled into Fort Worth Texas my butt was really sore and I went into the store and ask the young lady there if they happen to have any “bubblewrap” and she said yes they had just got a fragile shipment in and handed me a bunch of it. I took it to my Harley and attached it to my seat to help with the soreness and the Harley Shop Owner dubbed me AKA Bubblewrap. The whole group was laughing and cracking jokes about my putting it on my seat and saying what a Wuss I was but about four came to me and said, that was the smartest thing any of them had ever seen and if I did not take care of my own ass, no one else would. Many of the guys in the run to Odessa said that of all the names given out to a Rider my was the coolest due to it not having anything to do with something "dumb or stupid and these two names where already taken" which is how most got their Harley Riding names to began with...Wink I will see about getting the photo they took and posting it.

Wal-Mart has EVERYTHING! One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I¹d better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...A lot cheaper than a doctor." So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart." That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

The Republican Fisherman A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault." I wonder if somehow this is Mrs. Clinton...lmao

Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1.) Believe it or not I'm not shy, until afterwards. 2.) I love to ride in the sunshine, Harley’s are my favorites. 3.) I live in a 5 room house on 30 acres of woods in Mississippi. 4.) I love training dogs, and have been doing it now for about 12 years. 5.) There is nothing I can not do; see I slept in a Holiday Inn. 6.) I am extremely confident in myself and not very easily intimidated by others; Lord knows why. 7.) I love a tattoo but am scared of getting one myself due to thinking I would become covered in them. 8.) I spend most of my waking hours on the computer and then in the gym. And I am usually following DDK around on Mums or watching SiN’s drunk self or hitting on Krissy. 9.) I have been single for almost 4 years. And no I am not a woman hater!! I Just don’t know how to commit myself again to what I want. 10.) I enjoy sex from DDK, Krissy & SiN but DDK needs to work on her cooking, Krissy needs to use her lips more and SiN well she just needs help. I try to stay away from Fuzzy, she is nuts and reminds me of a Squirrel that is always wanting one….lol I tag FuzzySlippers, DDK, Krissy, SiN..