Bubblewrap's blog: "Little Dick Mag!"

This is long but definitely funny and worth reading. A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bible s. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday. Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you." Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected." The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the c hurch is indebted to you." Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?" Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister ! agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered th e door!" "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-he re and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??" Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto." Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket"

Ok, Going to let everyone know what has happened in the past few days to me. I injured myself and reopened a old hernia as of Wenday last week but that is not the bad part of it all. In the past few days I ended up swelling up like a balloon which hurt badly and the thing is with me is; I have a very high pain tolerance; so whenever I feel discomfort I KNOW that I need a Doctor. So, I went to the Doctor again today and She looked at my groan area and said it looked like a spider bite which had caused Staff-Infection and that She needed to lance those areas and let the pressure be released; She also cut away dead tissue. So, I have two holes about the size of quarters but hey I can walk now. However, I can not have my surgery till the Infection is gone now. So, I will not be on here a great deal.

How do these three words reflect upon each other or work together? Believe it or not these three words mean the very same thing and must be together in order to function and if a person takes each word in its most simplistic form and study it individually and apply each one in order then anything is possible and I do mean anything. POWER: Ability to act, regarded as latent or inherent; the faculty of doing or performing something; capacity for action or performance; capability of producing an effect, whether physical or moral: potency; might; as, a man of great power; the power of capillary attraction; money gives power. CONTROL: Power or authority to check or restrain; restraining or regulating influence; superintendence; government; as, children should be under parental control. DESTINY: That to which any person or thing is destined; predetermined state; condition foreordained by the Divine or by human will; fate; lot; doom. The fixed order of things; invincible necessity; fate; a resistless power or agency conceived of as determining the future, whether in general or of an individual. If one looks closely then one will see something that is very needed in all three but in order to have any of the three a person must have one; just one to start with. If you thought “power” was the answer then you were incorrect; even thou “power” is listed in all three. For in order to have “power” a person must have “control” not once or twice but at all times and “control” is at the very center of the three. For if one loses “control” then that person loses his/her “power” and then their “destiny” changes. Where does this fit in? Why am I babbling on this way…hmmmmm Hmmmmm a friend of mine asked me today if I would use such “power” and I responded that as long as my control is in order then there is no need for me to use it; just never lie or mislead me. Everyday we see people for only what they look like on the outside or how we want them to look like on the inside…scary, huh? What if you had some magical glasses that allowed you to look inside each and every person you came across? Image what you could see; a wonderful/broken mother, a cheerful/hurtful father, a happy/sad child or a Solder who must maintain his “control” over himself so others may feel safe. What if either one of these kinds of people were in sight with your magical glasses and you knew one and never knew who was really inside that person till you put on your magical glasses? You just may urinate in your pants.

I have seen some very lovely, beautiful people on FUBAR here lately and they all have scores of digital photos showing themselves in playful, wicked, humors situations but I have to say that out of One Hundred of each of these only about TEN can afford the time and digital space to show others who they are by posting a salute. Why do these others who do not wish to put up a “salute” wish to make contact with those of us who do have a “salute” and try to make us feel inferior or profess lust to us? Granted, I know many on here that I have meet in person around the Mississippi area where I live and then I have meet many from so many different States who do not have a “salute” but these people do not make sexual come on’s to me or send me half naked photos begging for me to go and rate their profile and photo’s. Hmmmmmmmm I wonder why the ones I know of and friends who know others in the same manor or fashion do not behave in the way many of the others do. So, think about that Hot Stud or Sexy Chick who writes to you trying to get you all stirred up inside with lust and for one second just wonder why. Many just want to have a friend, someone to chat with and share a dream with but they are too scared in reviling their true self to others. Maybe they think they are not as lovely in a picture or they need the illusion of deception to mislead others. Case in point I have been contacted by not one, not two, not even three but five in the last two weeks that I happen to know contain photos taken from a magazine or from a singles site add…..come on you bunch of Fakers please do better! I am willing to bet if I make a Fake profile and put up some hot body woman or man no one would care; hell everyone likes a good magic trick.

Plentyoffish Seduction Style Guide Results Passion Preludes: The Big Picture of Me Tom is not necessarily promiscuous or lacks standards, but the overall answer patterns suggest that Tom is exceedingly sensitive to the psychological and physical elements of romance and passion, even to the point they, at times, may lack impulse control. People like this tend to love life with zeal, often living in the moment and trying not to let experiences pass them by, with many having engaged in a wider range of sexual behaviors, sometimes with a number of different partners. Someone like this is bound to be gregarious and flirtatious in public, becoming extremely sensual and wildly uninhibited behind closed doors. In fact, these individuals are amongst the most passionate of people when the timing is right. What Makes This Type So Attractive? Those of high seducability can be absolute elixirs in and of themselves, with many drawn to this sort for their… • Uninhibited nature. Fun, fun-loving, and provocative, this type is very adventurous and erotophilic, open to trying new things, with many “closeted kinks” when it comes to sexual experimentation. • Lust for the sensual and the act of seduction. Not to be stigmatized as players necessarily, this sort loves anything that entertains their intellect, including the sexual, and that involves pleasure, including the potential for even greater pleasure. • Ability to be fabulous, hopeless flirts. Whether coy, up for tit for tat discourse, or clever in dishing out the flattery, this sort is alluring in their ability to be suggestive and fearless in expressing interest. • Their sensitivity and moodiness. A bit theatrical at times, and not afraid to express themselves in many ways, this sort will always keep you entertained, amusing woo’ers who know how to handle it. Tips for Tempting This Type: It can be easy for someone like Tom to fall in love. So… Don’t get carried away and “dive in” with them, no matter how hard this is not to do! Many are only open initially, yet withdraw once someone gets “too close,” despite their desire to be more emotionally involved for the long-term. Do choose your words and actions wisely. Do what you say and say what you mean. Tom may well push your own boundaries or comfort level. So… Don’t engage in anything you may regret, whether it’s too soon, too risqué, or too… Do show tolerance and maintain a healthy sense of adventure. Despite conveying otherwise, this sort can have as many issues with sex and relationships as the next person. So… Don’t assume that this person is free of sex issues or necessarily sexually empowered. Many can have misguided ideas on what it means to be sexually liberated. Do be sensitive to any intimacy issues they may be grappling with. You may be tempted to be as impulsive as Tom can sometimes be. So… Don’t give into any manipulation or even aggressive tactics that this sort can try to employ in getting the upper hand or having their way. Do fight that urge. Playing a little “hard to get” and pacing your interactions can actually heighten arousal and desire. These individuals love to flirt – and with just about anyone. Don’t assume that Tom, who may be a bit neurotic or narcissistic in nature, is 100% into you and only you. Do let Tom know what constitutes proper flirting to you and where you need to draw your boundaries in getting involved with someone. Many long for monogamous, long-term relationships. Don’t assume that Tom just cares about physical pleasure or living in the moment, despite a reputation of becoming bored or tiring easily, especially once the chase has cooled. Furthermore, don’t assume that many have wracked up a high number of sex partners, if that’s your concern. Plenty of people in this category have been involved in long-term, often monogamous, relationships where they have established a safe, trusting space for sexual exploration and sharing. Do talk about each other’s expectations, needs and wants. Bottom Line: While this type can be into all sorts of high stimuli, becoming easily aroused, don’t assume that their ability to realize their highest sexual self on a physical level translates into being able to do that on an emotional or spiritual level in the boudoir, If this is what you’re after you may be disappointed. Rather allow yourself to be allured, recognizing that much of what they do is based on their need to be pleased, their desire to be liked and loved, their need to impress, and a deep-seated vulnerability when it comes to being intimate with another. Step 1: How to Approach Me! A person’s “approach” to Tom lays the foundation for Steps 2 and 3 of seduction. Three elements help define an overall “approach:” • What kind of flirt you are (Flirting Style) • How you pace your interactions (Pace) • Your dating attitude (Creativity and Sense of Humor) Let’s explore the elements of an “approach” that are likely to get Tom to notice you. Know My Favorite Flirting Styles Online dating involves a wide range of possible online flirting behaviors. Men and women prefer many of the same flirting strategies, but those strategies are often weighted slightly differently between the sexes. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey reveals these hidden trends as well as some new, inside information on how to present yourself as you’re using these flirting tactics. Let the game of seduction begin. Men’s Top Ten Favorite Ways to Have Someone Flirt with Them 1. Displays concern for him, his feelings and well being 2. Talks about things he likes or dislikes, making comments and showing interest 3. Shows him your a daring or mischievous side 4. Sends him special/cute email messages 5. Shares jokes or amusing anecdotes with him 6. Compliments him on his screen name, attitude, personality and appearance 7. Makes an effort to contact him in some form most every day 8. Sends instant messages when he and you are online at the same time 9. Discusses seriously the traits he desires in a partner 10. Uses suggestive language in online conversations with him Flirting Styles that TURN ME ON 1. Playful and natural (someone who lets the inner child shine through). 2. Witty (someone who draws you in with words and quick thinking). 3. Confident (people who are direct and zero in what they want and go for it). Flirting Styles that TURN ME OFF 1. Coy (someone who’s a little reclusive and who plays hard to get). 2. Manipulative (someone who sends mixed signals and leaves you wondering if they are interested in you or not – basically a person who is into the power dynamics that come with a relationship, and who will ultimately have the upper hand, especially in seducing each other). 3. Charming (a person who’s a flatterer and who quickly gets on your good side). Know My Preferred Pace When it comes to talking to Tom about an offline meeting or date, Tom prefers to have someone communicate with them via: telephone instant messaging in person at an event organized by a dating service Generally speaking, Tom prefers communicating with someone online at least one or two weeks before meeting them offline. Therefore, Tom may well want to talk to family and friends about you and get their feedback. Or, Tom may well be trying not to get too caught up in the moment and first see how you handle yourself online over the course of many conversations. Allow this person some time and space before pushing to meet. A note of caution from the relationship experts! Warning signs of online predators or people with abusive tendencies include someone who: • Makes demeaning or inappropriate remarks. • Provides inconsistent information about his/her age, appearance, marital status or employment. • Refuses to provide a recent photo or series of photos. • Refuses to talk on the phone as the relationship develops. • Insists on seeing (or having) photos of your children or knowing considerable details about them early in the relationship. And whenever meeting someone offline, note these safety tips! • When you’re ready to meet someone in person, choose a public place such as a café or coffee shop, preferably during the day. • You may want to keep the first meeting casual and brief (e.g. an hour). • Take your own car or transportation. Don’t offer to pick up your date or let them pick you up. • Tell a friend or family member about your plans and where you’ll be on your date. • Never bring your children with you when meeting someone for the first time. And be hesitant about showing photos of your child as well. • You can have a friend sit at a nearby table in a coffee shop or café to keep an eye on you, if you would feel more comfortable. • Carry a cell phone with you on the date for emergencies. • Never leave your food or drink unattended. • When it’s time for the date to end, leave on your own. Avoid going straight home and drive to the store or another public place. Know How to Talk to Me Communication is important both to men and women – and it is an underrated aspect of seduction. Knowing what not to talk about with a particular person can be just as important as knowing what is fine to talk about. Here are the trends Plenty of Fish’s Seduction Survey identified for women. These will be useful when communicating with Tom. Men’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics 1. Sex 2. Romantic fantasies 3. Hobbies/interests in general 4. Hopes and aspirations 5. Music 6. Dreams 7. Movies 8. Entertainment 9. Vacations 10. Travel Men’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics 1. Past relationships 2. Other dates 3. Celebrities 4. Religion 5. Politics 6. Antiques 7. Money 8. Fashion 9. Gardening 10. Marriage My favorite conversation topics – in Tom’s own words! 1. Nature 2. Earth 3. Travel My least favorite conversation topics – in Tom’s own words! 1. talking about ex-lovers or spouces 2. about love ones Death 3. about any kind of money issues Know My Preferred Dating Attitude Tom’s answer patterns suggest there should be a good response to someone whose attitude or temperament is downright effervescent. Bottom Line: Show off – even exude – the side of you that is high energy and even a little wild. Tom wants to see your sense of humor, creativity and intelligence as well as a positive attitude throughout your words and actions. Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you get to break the ice with this type of person: • “What are your guilty pleasures in life?” • “What is the oddest thing you have ever had a dream about?“ • “How would you dress up for a fancy date on the town, a costume party with friends or a role play adventure with a lover?” Step 2: How to Date Me! Building on the “approach” is the way you handle actual dates. Dates should be fun for both individuals and allow the couple to begin knowing each other on deeper level than what is possible with casual online dating. Dating is where you truly explore and assess the chemistry, friendship and overall compatibility between you. However, people’s dating preferences can vary widely. So, below are preferences to keep in mind for Tom! Know How I Like to Pace a Date To Tom, a first date should last Three to five hours , and the date would ideally be Spontaneous – I like to set a time and place to meet and then see where the date goes from there. Know My Favorite Dating Activities Dinner is the classic date – and for good reason. It allows two people to focus on each other in a romantic environment, while satiating their palate and providing the opportunity to suggest ways two people can be mutually pleasured later. But, men and women both agree that some spots are more appropriate than others. The new Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered what places are hot or not. The list below shows the top ten choices. Restaurants at the top part of the list are rated the most favorable, whereas those at the bottom are rated less favorable. Notice how those that are least preferred may reflect lower levels of romance to some people. Keep that in mind if you take Tom to dinner! Top Ten Restaurant Types for a Date 1. Casual dinner 2. Pub 3. Retro bar with live music 4. French cuisine 5. Ethnic 6. Pizza place 7. Western 8. Salad bar 9. Sushi bar 10. Family dinner Of course, there are a host of dating activities besides the classic dinner and a movie. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey found which date picks for women are the best and the worst: Men’s Top Ten Date Picks 1. Taking a romantic walk 2. Restaurant 3. Park 4. Cook dinner at home 5. Coffee shop 6. Scenic car ride 7. Stay in and rent a movie 8. Bowling or Playing Pool 9. Live music 10. Comedy Club Men’s Top Ten Least Favorite Date Picks 1. High School Reunion, Work party or Wedding 2. Antique fair/ show 3. Cultural Event (opera, ballet, etc) 4. Shopping 5. Dance Club 6. Mixer 7. House Party 8. Theater (musical, play) 9. Bar 10. Sports event Favorite dating activities – in Tom’s own words! 1. Riding my Harley to different locations and seeing the sights 2. camping in the out doors 3. Going to AR and digging for crystals or just rock collecting Least favorite dating activities – in Tom’s own words! 1. Going out and getting drunk 2. don't like going shopping 3. going out with others neither of us really know Know My Expectations for Ending a Date Assuming the first date goes well, Tom may take it as far as going with the flow. However, this doesn’t mean that you should have great expectations, so remain classy, respectful and let the mood develop naturally and gradually. Dating Dos and Don’ts! The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey presented respondents with wide assortment of factors that can totally turn somebody on – as well as off. Both men and women agree on many of the elements that can make your efforts wildly successful or totally futile. In figuring out how to best woo a lady, consider avoiding the following turn-off’s, as well as incorporating the following turn-on’s. Furthermore, consider ways to maintain behaviors well beyond the preliminary stages of dating, as these factors will also help to maintain passion and intrigue in each other. Men’s Top Ten Turn-Offs 1. Poor hygiene 2. Bad breath 3. Rude to staff 4. Complains a lot 5. Boring 6. Poor manners 7. Puts others down 8. Poor listener 9. Distracted / preoccupied 10. Someone who’s balding Men’s Top Ten Turn-Ons 1. Passionate 2. Sexy appearance 3. Affectionate/cuddlesome 4. Smiles a lot 5. Romantic 6. Shows good eye contact 7. Intelligent 8. Easy going 9. Good listener 10. Well-groomed Major TURN ONs – in Tom's own words! 1. a woman who can make eye contact 2. a hug and kiss if done right for me does the trick fast 3. a slight touch of affection whether it be silly or serious Major TURN OFFs – in Tom's own words! 1. no eye contact 2. speaks of themself in a poor manner 3. only wants talk but never listen Step 3: How to Sexually Seduce Me! Know My Sexual Personality One’s overall sexual personality reflects two core meta-traits that experts traditionally refer to as Alpha and Beta. With respect to sexual motivations, Alpha concerns intimacy and affiliation, and Beta concerns power or dominance. This means that those scoring high on Alpha typically approach sex as a means to an end – such as strengthening an attachment or deepening intimacy with a lover. Those scoring high on Beta tend to regard sex as its own reward. Tom scored high on Alpha and high on Beta, so we call this profile a “Serpent.” These sensation-seekers are not necessarily sex fiends, but they can be somewhat open-minded and exploratory when it comes to sexual expression. For them, sex is often a transcendent experience through which they feel unparalleled pleasure that comes from all of the sensations of an intense emotional and physical connection with a partner, with many uncoiling their innermost sexual energy for a cosmic sexual experience. The dominance this type sometimes portrays in the bedroom is one meant for mutual pleasuring – for the greater good of the relationship and connection – than one of selfish gratification. Sexual pleasuring is a celebration of the relationship and amongst a union’s highest priorities. In getting to know a “Serpent” better, Plenty of Fish would like to suggest some customized, probing inquiries to help you: • “When it comes to ‘Tantric sex’, what thoughts come to mind?’” • “Is sex best planned or left completely spontaneous…and why?” • “How would you describe the difference between ‘sex’ and ‘making love’, if anything?” • “Are there any sexual activities that couples should not try?” • “Should a partner have sex even when they’re not in the mood?” • “How would you describe the ultimate sensual sexual experience for you?” Know My Romantic Fantasies Plenty of Fish is about to reveal the latest in research on romantic fantasies – what men and women think about when they’re seducing themselves or a lover. Before we delve into those results, however, it’s interesting to note that, in general, research has found that the differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual fantasies aren’t too great. Both sexes enjoy fantasies involving threesomes (whatever the combination), using a video camera, current partners, reliving past experiences and oral sex. Naturally, however, research has also found gender differences when it comes to fantasy… Women’s fantasies are heavier on new lovemaking positions, sex in exotic places, being “forced “to have sex, bondage, being found absolutely irresistible, sex with a new lover and doing something “wicked.” Male fantasies tend to focus on sensual, nongenital (no penis or vagina) lovemaking, having sex in general, group sex, voyeurism and being aggressive or dominant during sex. That said, here’s what the Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered about the realm of fantasies… …On to the details An important part of seducing a man is playing upon his senses and imagination in a way that sets the right mood for physical intimacy and arousal, and releasing inhibitions. The “right” mood varies, in general, between men and women, as well as amongst individuals. New research sponsored by Plenty of Fish has further discovered some predictable trends for men. Men tend to be extremely visual, fantasizing about a number of different potential partners, mostly people he would like to have sex with (e.g., stranger, multiple or anonymous), however unrealistic such notions. Such visions also typically involve more specific sex acts, body parts, and a fantasized partner’s response. They also like to come out on top, essentially “conquering” their sexual needs and partner. Therefore, most men like romantic fantasies that allow them to experience what they normally couldn’t have – a tryst with a favorite female celebrity, playing doctor with the forbidden school nurse or the homeroom teacher, or a passionate office romance. On that top of this, a number of men also like romantic fantasies that feed their egos – themes that deal with being an object of desire and admiration as well as doting on his every sexual desire. Examples include a rock star with a groupie, police officer with a criminal, or a famous porn star. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for themes of dominance and authority – military or firefighter scenarios or even abductions or kidnappings. They are likelier to view others as the objects of their own sexual desires than to be that object of desire. Bottom line: “With male sexual fantasies more visually explicit, promiscuous and easily provoked by a variety of sources, men tend to be concerned most with control issues, visual cues of connectedness with a partner, and the degree of physical connection to a lover. So when considering how this can play into a romantic relationship, women should play to this idea by stimulating him with a variety of arousing stimuli, like sights and textures, that reinforce his ideal romantic fantasy and to maintain his sexual interest and arousability. The pair should also incorporate a great deal of storytelling as a part of foreplay, heavy on rich descriptors and different scenarios. Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Tom: • “Should a person ever reveal all of their sexual fantasies? Why or why not?” • “How do you know when it’s safe to confess your romantic fantasies with a partner?” • “What are some of the benefits of fantasy for an individual and a relationship?” • “Which of your fantasies make you blush?” • “Are you the type of person who likes to enact romantic fantasies on the spur of the moment and with little resources, or are you more likely to spare no expense and plan it well in advance?“ • “If you could direct a theatre production of one of your favorite fantasies, how would it play out?” Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Romantic Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Tom. Romantic fantasies I find especially unappealing Romantic fantasies I find especially appealing Stranger sex e.g., pretend that you just met, even picking each other up on the train, at a bar, while shopping Affair sex e.g., the next door neighbor, a waiter at a restaurant, a boss and secretary, or Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Teacher & student Romantic fantasies I might discover I like with the right person Ancient Egypt fantasy Military A high-end stripper (even being forced to strip) Know My Fantasy Locations Another critical part of seduction is the physical setting. The “right” fantasy location can really help set the mood and make for an incredible and memorable intimate experience. The “right” fantasy setting varies between men and women, as well as among individuals. However, Plenty of Fish’s new research also reveals predictable trends about what men prefer. Remember men tend to be physically-oriented. As such, most men like fantasy locations that are secluded and idealistic, but also tend to be a bit action-oriented. These settings show a remarkable range, such as ships/ boats, road trips, vacations, camping, carriage rides, and historical landmarks (e.g., Egyptian Pyramids). On that top of this, a number of men also like fantasy locations that really kick adrenaline into high gear and lend themselves to spontaneous expressions of passion. These are locations that speak to the sensation-seeking and risk-taking side of men – airplanes, hot air balloons, concerts, barns or farms and settings for an office romance. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for archetypal themes and fantasies of lost innocence. Examples of this include time travel and science fiction themes, dark alleys, military settings, Hollywood movie sets and scenes related to adolescence like classrooms, gymnasiums and planetariums. Bottom line: When it comes to fantasy settings, men tend to be most concerned with their ability to feel alive and invigorated, in control, and able to show passion spontaneously. Men like giving in to raw urges as only provoked in exciting environments, as well as places that stoke their adolescent fantasies. Therefore, women should revel in the fact that that means fun, uninhibited play. Men strive for the experience of sweeping a woman off her feet and rocking her world in pleasantly surprising ways and in new, “unexplored” environments. The more she can humor, if not delve into, his settings exploration, the better the experiences to be had for both of them. Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Tom: • “What ‘make out’ spots from your adolescence do you fondly remember even to this day?” • “Which countries do you think of when you think “most romantic”? Now how about sexiest?” • “If money was no object, where would the most memorable and passionate place be to make love to your partner for the very first time?” Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Fantasy Locations” that the assessment identified in Tom. Fantasy locations I find especially unappealing Abduction/kidnapping Dark alley Performing arts theater Fantasy locations I find especially appealing Beach Soft light Candles Fantasy locations I might discover I like with the right person Dancing club Scented candles Fountain Know My Sexual Fantasies Ultimately, seduction leads to physical intimacy. And just as people prefer certain moods and settings, men and women also prefer particular types of sex play. The new research sponsored by Plenty of Fish has discovered some predictable trends for what sex play most appeals to men. Keeping in mind that men tend to be visual sexually speaking, most men like to read erotica with their partners, indulge in nude picture taking or videotaping intimate encounters, rip off clothes, and try exhibitionism (getting intimate in public settings). On top of this, a number of men also like sex play that allows them to experience the allure of different tactile sensations – food, spanking, light biting and pinching, and the feel of stockings, hosiery and different types of clothing on a partner such as jeans, leather and silk. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for activities that allow them to act out impulses of dominance and power – bondage, hot wax and other B&D/S&M play. For these men, wild and sensual types of clothing are really appealing. Examples include rubber and latex, spandex and a variety of different types of shoes or boots on a partner. Bottom line: “When it comes to sexual preferences, men like to indulge their senses during foreplay and sex – particularly the senses of sight and touch, Therefore, women should understand that certain playful sexual fixations help men feel empowered and more masculine. Furthermore, particular behaviors that involve ‘objectifying’ their partner or fantasized partners (sharing erotica, wanting to take photos or making videotapes) can be complimentary and reflect the fact that he finds his lover extremely desirable. Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore sexual fantasies with Tom: • “What types of foreplay turn you on?” • “What do you tend to find more arousing on a woman – a certain color or a specific type of clothing? Which is your favorite of either?“ • “Why do you suppose that some average, everyday couples find taking nude photographs of each other or making special home movies so erotic?” Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Sexual Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Tom. Sex play I find especially unappealing Cross-dressing General B&D (bondage & discipline) General S&M (sadism & masochism) Sex play I find especially Appealing Silk/Satin fetishism Corset fetishism Stocking/hosiery fetishism Sex play I might discover I like with the right person Boot/shoe fetishism Leather fetishism Jeans fetishism

OH MAN I'M TIRED! > > A man was sick and tired of going to > work every day while his wife stayed home. > > He wanted her to see what he went > through so he prayed: > > "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and > put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know > what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a > day. Amen." > > God, in his infinite wisdom, granted > the man's wish. > > The next morning, sure enough, the man > awoke as a woman. -=20 > > He arose, cooked breakfast for his > mate, > > awakened the kids, > > set out their school clothes, > > fed them breakfast, > > packed their lunches, > > drove them to school, > > came home and > > picked up the dry cleaning, > > took it to the cleaners and > > stopped at the bank to make a deposit, > > went grocery shopping, > > then drove home to put away the > groceries, > > paid the bills and > > balanced the check book. > > He cleaned the cat's litter box and > bathed the dog. > > Then it was already 1P.M. and he > hurried to make the beds, > > do the laundry, > > vacuum, > > dust, and > > sweep and > > Mop the kitchen floor. > > Ran to the school to pick up the kids > and > > got into an argument with them on the > way home. > > Set out milk and cookies and > > got the kids organized to do their > homework, > > then set up the ironing board and > > watched TV while he did the ironing. > > At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and > > washing vegetables for salad, > > breaded the pork chops and > > snapped fresh beans for supper. > > After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, > > ran the dishwasher, > > folded laundry, > > bathed the kids, and put them to bed. > > At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though > his daily chores weren't finished, > > he went to bed where he was expected to > make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. > > The next morning, he awoke and > immediately knelt by the bed and said:=20 > > -"Lord, I don't know what I was > thinking. I was so wrong to envy my > > wife's being able to stay home all day. > Please, oh! oh! please, let us > > trade back." > > The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, > replied: > > "My son, I feel you have learned your > lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. > You'll just have to wait nine months though. You got pregnant last > night." > > This has been voted Women's Favorite > E-mail of the Year! My mother emailed this to me! Lord only knows why...lmao

1.Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 3.OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and theTampaBay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4.If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~* 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? [See the attached file] *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them ! while they deliver the mail? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 20. You never really learn to ! swear until you learn to drive. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

Does anyone have an understanding of what “love” is at all? The Biblical definition of love: 1 Corithians Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things. Sonnet XLIII, from the Portuguese. Elizabeth Barrett Browning - 1806-1861 How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. So, even thou there are some definitions as to what “love” is can any one person or group truly explain what goes on inside their soul when they have feelings so deep and rooted inside; can that person or group truly express what “love” is to them in a way for all other to understand and even themselves. TomTom

Hey, this is going to be very shallow of me but what can I say. Would you mind clicking on my badge and giving me a good score, see I would like to get 100 to rate me in the top 10. I just want it is all. Thank you, Tom