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MasterofDisaster's blog: "Life"

created on 06/30/2007  |  http://fubar.com/life/b97183
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Love

Always searching for the love of a lifetime always looking everywhere every crook and cranny never finding the oh so elusive love of a lifetime who would think it could ever be so far yet so close wondering dreaming hoping oh the love of a lifetime why search why some find others not. I have no idea where this came from out of me
Well as I sit here I think so people have said that I think to much for my own good.. I know nothing and especially life makes no sense what so ever. Try to be a nice caring person and we get shit on. I know been there many a time. I do understand. The boy's Mother was a maniac depressive so I have been through it all worse in person then just emails. I have been through the mill. I lost my Mother and I lost a child and have been used by a few women. Now all I want to do is find a friend with benefits. LOL I learned that term in 2005 when I was down in Louisiana for hurricane duty. I doubt I will get married again. I think I might move in with someone but marry no not again I think. But I haven’t met any friends with benefits either lol. Sorry I guess I'm just being an idiot tired of being alone and having no sex life or cuddling or someone to go to the movies with me or to hold hands with, etc. I try then feel like not trying because no one else seems to want to try. Maybe I do think to much sometimes that can be bad or good. I guess that would just depend on the situation. I realize that I’m missing a lot but when you have been burnt a few times you have a tendency to put up walls and it is very very hard to trust. But I do know not all are a like but still you have a tendency to put those walls up and in front of your self. And I wont say that I haven’t fantasized about a women from this site showing up at my place to show me the errors of my thinking lol what a fantasy which I know wont happen. People are happy just being on here and being all they can be. With no fear of every having to met anyone from here so they feel comfortably safe. Not saying no one meets I’m sure there are a few. My thoughts, always thinking for good or bad.
Well good morning. Haven’t heard from anyone lately and I do hope all is okay. It has been kind of quiet here. Just the same old things going on. I will get everything done on Saturday because I do want to go to the movies on Sunday to see Bourne Ultimatum Then maybe come to downtown to take a couple of pictures of the new statues they put up. Could do it during the day at work but I want pictures of just the statues and not everyone around. I’m going to have someone here today to take a couple of new pictures of me in a different color shirt again. I really love my color coordinated dress shirts with the matching tie. Then of course there are all the rings I wear lol not many guys wear rings like I do but have always liked jewelry. And of course then my cowboy boots which I never really wore anything else in my life for long it has most always been boots. Well trying to get a hold of my son Clif his cousin shot himself. I will have to send you the new pictures when I get them resized. I did take some this morning of my apartment before I left might take some more of the apartment just for something to do lol. Everything has been the same old here nothing really exciting to report. Still lonely but I have just decided to accept that as a part of life. I probably forgot all about human contact in a natural setting as I only get human contact at work and that is not the same as in one on one or something like that. I know my Dad where he lost Betty and was alone for only a week and he and the neighbor lady took up and we kids had no problem with that he is 77 and shouldn’t be alone and now where he was taking care of Betty because she was so sick. And they never went anywhere for a few years. He has been going to the coast with Gladys and walking on the beach which I feel so happy that he is getting to do things now after all theses years. My Dad walking on the beach I think that would be a sight to see. And where he was alone for a couple of weeks he turns and says to me he can’t see how I get by. He told me he worries about me because I don’t have anyone. And of course he knows what all I have been through concerning women lol But for him to worry about me makes me feel so great. And as I told him I’m a survivor. Even though I don’t like being alone and cry about it. It is better then being with someone that just looks at me like a paycheck been there done that and don’t want to do that again. I guess I’m in a writing mood lol well hope this doesn’t bore you any. Well Hugs/kisses Jim
Hi, Jim - Thanks for your cooperation. Good luck this year. Here is the story, in raw text: Bluffs man plays role in disaster relief TIM JOHNSON Staff Writer "It's nice getting an award and that, but I think the biggest thing is when someone walks up to you in the corner grocery store and thanks you for being there. You know you're helping people." That's the conclusion of James Janicek of Council Bluffs after helping with relief efforts following 12 disasters and receiving a Commander Award for Civilian Service last November. Janicek, a project coordinator/as-built technical manager for the Army Corps of Engineers, Northwest Division, Omaha District, volunteers periodically in response to disasters throughout the country and enjoys the work. He has been part of relief efforts in the wake of floods in California, West Virginia and the Midwest; wildfires in California; and hurricanes in the South and Southeast. "Hurricane Andrew was my first one, and I got kind of hooked," he said. "You get a rush when you're working seven days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day. I spent four months assisting. I thought that volunteering would look good on my record. I was surprised when I found out I really enjoyed helping people and working on disaster duty." Last year, he spent 93 days in Louisiana following Hurricane Katrina. He was one of 120 to 130 Corps members deployed from the Omaha District. That left a lot of extra work for personnel who stayed behind, Janicek noted. "They actually kick in and help, too, when disaster hits," he said. Janicek spent the first 63 days in Slidell, La., just east of New Orleans, and the last 30 days in Lake Charles in the western part of the state. "I have served in many capacities while deployed - everything from quality assurance inspector for debris removal to quality assurance team leader for demolition, " he said. "During my latest assignment, I was a QA supervisor handling over 150 QA inspectors for the blue roof program." The Federal Emergency Management Agency provides the blue roof program through the Corps, Janicek said. The Corps installs plastic sheeting over damaged areas of a home to prevent further damage. "We're teamed with FEMA to do the roofing, water, ice and power deliveries," he said. Quality assurance supervisors help oversee repair and reconstruction work, Janicek said. "We sit down and have meetings with contractors to make sure they're on the same page we are," he said. Workers see some heart-wrenching situations, Janicek said. "Down in Louisiana, one of my inspectors ran across a needy family whose daughter had undergone open-heart surgery, with numerous operations to follow," he said. "Hurricane Katrina badly damaged their home." The girl was on a heart monitor, breathing tube, feeding tube and other medical equipment, Janicek said. "They were in a camper; and, when they turned on all that medical equipment, it blew a fuse," he said. From a relief standpoint, there were complications, Janicek said. "The problem was, the house had a metal roof," he said. "The blue roof program excludes metal roofs. As we pondered a way to help, we secured them a motel room. I called the contractor and told him that I could not in any capacity, except as one human being to another, ask him to put up the blue roof. He did it, however, knowing he would not be paid." The Corps also went beyond its professional responsibilities to help the family, Janicek said. "I and five other Corps personnel took up a collection for the family," he said. "Then, we had a cookout for them at their motel. We took up another collection at Thanksgiving to make sure they had a good one. A few of us even gave them gifts at Christmas. "We still keep track of the family. The little girl just had a brain shunt put in. She got through that. In May, she underwent her second open-heart surgery. Through it all, we were able to get a new FEMA trailer for them. I will always treasure the thank-you card the family gave me afterwards." Janicek is preparing to take on new responsibilities and recently completed a week of training in Mobile, Ala. The Corps wants QA supervisors to also serve as liaisons with local government agencies and explain relief services available through the Corps, he said. As a liaison, he will be deployed more often. "We'll pre-deploy to that county or city EEOC and will ride out the storm at EEOC," he said. "Then we can get to know them and they'll think 'hey, they went through the same thing we did.'" Relief workers must be ready to go within six hours of notification, Janicek said. "In training for these (local government liaisons), they told us they're going to stick to that six-hour rule," he said. "That's why we have our bags packed all the time." Janicek hopes this year's hurricane season is calmer. "My fourth grandchild was born on June 1," the first day of the hurricane season, he said. Still, Janicek is not nervous about it. "I don't want there to be a disaster; but, if there is, I'll be ready to go."

Again

March 2, 2007 - What no parent should have to go through. >This is a blog of what no parent should go through and that is the loss of a child. This a select group that I hope no other parent will join. But I know such as life is that is not to be. You never want to open your door and have the police standing there at 4:30AM because you know the reason they are there and it isn’t because you forgot to pay a parking ticket. There is only one reason and one reason only that they are standing there. The first thought through your mind is which child is it. A lot of things become blurred. You stagger around and you say NO that is not the way it is suppose to be. I'm suppose to go before my kids. They want you to sit but you think irrationally that if you keep standing it won't be true but you know better as the scream comes out of your mouth and you pound on the desk with your fists hoping that will make it not true. The police thought that I was having a heart attack. People say a lot of bad things about policemen but they do have a hard job and I believe this is the part that is the worst for them. When they have to notify a parent that a child is dead. They tried to get someone that could come over and be with me but all family lives out of state and the younger 2 children that do live here I was not going to call their home and wake them up and inform them their brother was dead . So imagine your worst nightmare times 2 that is what goes through your mind as you sit there. Wondering if you had done this or this or been a better parent would that have changed things. I will say I was not a good parent I was rough on the 2 boys as they were growing up. And then when the younger two came with my last marriage I totally flipped a 360 so went from one extreme to another extreme. So love your children as there is no tomorrow because there might be no tomorrow. That doesn’t mean to let them run wild still discipline them. But never forget to always talk to them take that time to be there to listen to their hopes and their fears. People say that it gets easier but does it really it might stop in intensity but it is still there. I think of him everyday and that is because I was so glad we were mending fences and I also walk by his work place everyday I go to work. Or if I see a movie that I know he and I would of like to see. There has been a lot of wishes on my part that I had done some things different when the boys were growing up. If I could go back and change things if I knew that would help I would do it in a minute. Or would I change places with him yes I would even though I'm afraid of dying especially dying alone. My kids mean the world to me and now my world is bigger now because of my 4 granddaughters. You should tell your kids everyday that you love them, raise them with a firm but gentle hand. Never turn away from your child in anger because someday that child might not be there. There will be a lot of regrets that you will take to your grave. You wish for forgiveness from them for the way you were. You will always cry for that loss which you never can get back. Just as the words that come out of your mouth in anger will be there never able to pull them back. Which brings to mind that old saying sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. That is rubbish words do hurt just as sharp as any sword. And you cant take them back once they are said. Children make the world go round love them.
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Poem

This is a poem my stepdaughter wrote for the funeral of her step brother my oldest child. This is something no parent should have to go through. I post this in his memory he passed away on May 16th, 2004. I love you Jayme. My Soul by Davionna Deep with in my soul I creep, my secrets there I will keep. In the dark there is a light, to guide me through my selfish flight. Day is night, and night is day, your only hope is to pray. Then we lay ourself's to rest a single rose upon our chest. Now we say good bye and then we sleep, a bed of roses by our feet.
July 18, 2007; About life and cherry tap this is a little bit long just thought that I would let you know up front at least 2 pages. Well it is another day same shit different day is all. I would think that people that have the same shit different day should be tired of it. I for one know that I get tired of it. But you try and get it to be different and but there are those that think they need to ruin someone’s day because that is the way they are. What fun can you get out of ruining someone’s day or upsetting them or lying to someone. Hey paybacks are a bitch. Just ask my Ex lol she treated me like shit and I let her have the house her business I built for her and lo and behold she married some guy that wont work well needless to say she lost the house the business and now has nothing. I never believed in paybacks but I do now. So treat people the way you want to be treated because it will come back to you and bite you in the ass. There are so many fakes out here that lie use someone else’s picture don’t you think someone will notice if you do meet them. But maybe you figure you wont meet anyone. I know I have meet a couple not from here but other sites and they did not look at all like their picture. It was like they were totally changed and I mean different looks different hair different everything like did you get plastic surgery done. I do know there are fakes out here on cherry tap but there seems like there are not as many as there are elsewhere. What gets me is if you take the time to rate a person’s picture and profile you would think it would be manners to return the favor. I have rated a lot of pictures and their profiles well they never even looked at my profile to say what an ugly dude let alone rate me. SO decided that I would wait and save my rates for those that are my family and my friends for when they put up new items or for those who are new and rate my profile or picture. Which is only fair. And I try to treat all the seem on rates. Even those that rate me a 4 5 or 6 I will rate them a 10 as I thought this was the way to do it. I have meet some exciting and lovely people on here and some lovely ladies. Whether they are married or not. It is also real hard to know for sure who is married and who are single. It is always nice to have new friends. I love looking at all the pictures and try to rate them all but of course we have a limit on how many times we rate I have ran out a couple of times. It is nice to look at sexy pictures to there is a lot to say about sharing of their pictures and themselves on here. There is a lot of beautiful ladies here on one site. I would love to meet them all. But there are a couple I would really like to meet and they are younger then me but I’m no pervert I like looking at beautiful woman. And there is a certain age limit but I think there is nothing wrong from looking at a beautiful 20 something that has a profile here. And it is not right to badger someone to let you see their private pictures it is nice if you ask once but that is it. Don’t badger the lady that is not gentlemanly and I think we are all adults on here and should act accordingly. So far though cherry tap has been great other then those that wont rate you or they rate you low. I have meet some nice people here. There are some of those in my family list and my friends list I would like to meet especially 6 in particular. I know that wont happen. I was going to say what area they are from but decided not to. Well at least I won’t hold my breath. I wouldn’t want to die lol I have gotten hooked on cherry tap lol but when you have been burnt so much you get leery and become some what of a homebody. I know I wouldn’t mind visitor's I’m harmless I don’t believe in pushing your self on someone. But I have quite a DVD collection now so it would be nice to just have company to watch a movie with me or just to chat a while with me. I think I’m so use to this that if someone knocked on my door I would hope they know CPR lol because I would probably have a heart attack. Wow this is a bit long but isn’t blogs suppose to be long. I think I better end this before to long. But I also believe in either a single rose to a lady or a thank you card sent to her for sharing her pictures and profiles. It is through their loving generous nature that they share with us their profiles. Thanks to all the Ladies that share themselves with us here on cherry tap. I don’t know if I got this done on a few but please excuse me it was not my intention to forget but I do try and I think more of us should try. Just my thoughts is all
Jump in bed: Sex can help you stay healthy Having fun in bed is not only good for a relationship, but also good for you By Dr. Gail Saltz TODAYShow.com contributor Updated: 10:34 a.m. CT July 11, 2007 Sex is healthy for a relationship. Married couples who are satisfied with their sexual lives report better overall marital satisfaction. But can sex be healthy for you as an individual? Yes! Here’s how sex can keep you in better shape and put you in a better mood. Workout partner: Active sex is a good aerobic exercise, which is good for your heart. Sex also works out your stomach, back and buttock muscles, leading to greater pleasure with body esteem. Exercise on its own is also good for your mind. It relieves stress and elevates your mood, due to the release of endorphins. It is especially a workout for specific muscles, and for women, that means the vagina. Like other muscles, the vagina is a “use it or lose it” organ. The more you use your pelvic muscles, the more they stay in shape. And if you don’t use them, they will atrophy and sex can become painful. Pelvic muscles also affect bladder control. If your pelvic muscles are in shape, you will have better bladder control later in life or after having babies. Who wants to pee every time they sneeze or cough? Use those muscles, ladies! For men, the prostate may benefit by being active in ejaculation. Having sex may also reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Mood booster: After sex, hormones that can have beneficial effects are released in the body. Oxytocin causes relaxation and feelings of love and bonding, and endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers. Levels of immunoglobulin A are also elevated after sex. This antibody can help you fight off colds. Many people also find that they have an easier time falling asleep after sex. Getting a good night’s sleep has many health benefits. Confidence builder: Last but not least, having good sexual confidence feeds into your overall confidence. And confident people who like themselves tend to do well in the world. Dr. Gail Saltz's Bottom Line: If you are having sexual problems, I highly recommend you consult a doctor. There are now many methods of treating sexual issues. But perhaps more importantly ... sex (under, of course, the right and safe circumstances) not only makes you feel good, but it is also good for you! Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to “Today.” Her latest book is “Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie,” by Dr. Gail Saltz. She is also the author of "Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts," which helps parents deal with preschoolers' questions about sex and reproduction. Her first book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was published in 2004 by Riverhead Books. It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com. © 2007 MSNBC Interactive
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