legalboxers's blog: "Life"

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What do I have to be "Thankful" for. for 11 months my mothers mental health has been going in decline from March from fighting with the tax preparers, the people who installed the 2 new windows, the people who put the new stairs and cement work (calling them 4x because of something not noticeable by many) to the people who put in a new hot water heater (a small dent which does not stop the functionality of the unit) ,not to mention "seeing" things which arent there.

On the other side of the coin to my volunteer work with law enforcement. 3 pronged issue. Someone who comes to the meetings and tells people to "profile people of color and leave the others alone". to a group text which is so toxic I get yelled because I refuse to participate, and favoritism for someone who is those "Forrest Gump" wannabes who brown nose to get ahead and do other things.

PART I: something which never will happen for me. EVERWorking for a firm for months, grueling hours. Working past 6-7pm. Got into a relationship. Things are going well, but they aren't. I find something which will make the firm look golden and publicity. Its the holidays, I dont want to do anything, The relationship went south so I am immersed in my work. The head lawyer tells me to bring a tux and not to go home after work. Puzzled I look at him. Im like okay fine.

Im still trudging at my desk, until security knock at my cubical telling me the office is closed and I needed to go to the restaurant immediately but I needed to change into my tuxedo.

So I change and walk to the black tie affair, it was something which the firm had planned its Christmas holiday party. As Im walking in they are ice sculptures all over the place, Hors d'oeuvre are being served. As well as champagne, As people are milling into the dining area, the head of the firm is giving a speech about the firms accomplishments, and giving awards to honorees. I had a long day and I was walking out of the venue until the called my name to come to the stage. I refused but everyone was cajoling me to come up. Reluctantly I went up on stage, Since I finished law school I was struggling with everything, so the head attorney says how with my hard work and diligence, I was able to pick up on something which they missed in essence, winning a huge case (which they did not tell me about) and I was given a plaque, and they were giving me a "baby lawyer" position within the firm. Everyone started applauding....

Then, Jr Attorney of the firm said "we have a surprise for you", the person I was with whom I hadnt seen in 4 months comes to the stage and makes an announcement - how she is pregnant with our child (twins) and she disappeared for 4 months so she can help her family, And how she is proud of me..


PART II Its Thanksgiving (and Christmas) I dont like my family over but you invited yours, those who are more favorable to me. We are all gathered at the table, we are eating our meals, Everyone is so happy to see us, with all we been dealing with the whole year. When everyone leaves we are cleaning the table and everything else. This Holiday Night by Margo Rey is playing in the background.

We are dancing to the lights of the Christmas Tree and the candles. You tell me you love me, and you are happy to be with me...

This year fucking sucked. And my hopes and dreams never will come true.