gothgirlpunk's blog: "Life/love/hate/death"

I am losing him and I don’t know what to do any more oh well I will die with out him in my life and his love but he don’t know this oh well I am crying right now cuz it hurts so much I want to be with him and he don’t want me I will love him always my bad for falling in love I just want to spend time with him b4 I leave but he really don’t want to so it makes me just want to sleep my life away I feel bad that I love him and I cant have him he wont even hug me I just want a hug some times and I cant even get a hug I am the worse person in the world I drive every one I love away I should stay single for ever why be in love with some one that just don’t under stand me being in love sucks when you are not getting loved back = its bad when you are crying all the time and hiding it from the guy you love he said last night he would spend time he didn’t he said it tonight he hasn’t when I move out he will for get me and never talk to me again why me I think why

what is love really i swear you know i love my hubby but does he really love me i know i might have a proublem and push him away thats always been a issuse i had cuz every guy i date leave me so i push now so i know its coming but what ever i dont mean to hurt him i love him but who cares no one i want to cuddle with him and more but on a brake so ya oh well i wish he would just hug me and shit he dont want to oh well i give up i love him but he dont want to notice me any more when he ready i will be waiting oh well if you wish apound a star it be having my hubby back i know no one will be ok and read and have the balls to answer it but oh well i love him i want him happy oh well he dont really want me happy when you are in love you would do any thing for them

i miss my hubby but i dont know what to do to make it better if any one knows how to make some one happy again let me know i hide my feeling for a long time intill i fliped and got made

do you ever feel not notice feel like that every day in my life even when i have some one i just want some one to notice i am still a living human being when i was preg no one really care afraid to be with a guy really i wish i was ok love guys but i think my fear toke over how would i know that i wont get fuck over again i was afraid to talk to my hubby about shit cuz i wanted to not tell him shit i wanted him to know shit but i wont tell him but it my fault i drove him and every one i know away cuz every one i love dies or fucks me over so i just wait when i am not happy i norm just stay in a room by myself all day wtf should i do oh ya have your heart broeken into two

if i called you romeo would you call me juliet if are toungs crosses paths would you accepted would you die for my word and never look back would you make sure i was in love b4 you left would i die by your side or in your arms and can i take you with me if i called you jack would you call me rose and never for get would you plz love me for ever as a friend would you keep me close for ever as a lover would you be in my life no matter what happens in the end would you show me the light at the end would you try to take the pain and suffering away maybe you can makes us kid and for get all this drama that out there today can you sit by my side when i am old and gray help me around intill i pass away would you love me as a mother as wife or as a friend or as family would you make sure i am happy when its the end i dont care what you do with my bodie you can trough me away you can put me in a roster and make me ash flaya you can put me in a box where i go rout and hid you can do what ever you want as long as i am not alive but as long as i am here dont go away just say good bye for a nother day i am like the cat in the hat i will be back i tell you now as a matter of faked i might not spell right i might be blind i might be cold but who cares of my life i am just letting you know no matter what i will be around i make sure you ok no matter what happens around i am supper woman dont fear me now i love you all i got to go my finger are dead now

i am sitting on the computer talking to some one and the cat is sitting next to me watching the letters pop up on the screan and trying to read it and watching the mouse move and the letters coming out its kind of funny to watch cuz her eyes are moving when i type this haha funny kitty now she trying to paw the computer and she lying on it wtf i have an odd cat by me

so broken in side i dont know what to do i feel like my heart been riped out torn into two i feel like i cant breath i feel like some one holding my head under water and no one will let me come up for air my life is crumbling infront of my eyes its like sand in my hands watching every lil peace fall right through and i dont know what to do want help but cant get it need a friend cant find one pain grows each day it feels like a knife is cuting me from the inside out all i can say is ok i cant scream cuz no one will hear me no one will hear my cry for help i want to breath i want to be helped out of the hurting pain all i want is to be pain free i am lying in my grave i see my castute close i see my self going under i feel the dirt and bugs coming i want out but no one can hear me so i just cry myself to sleep i need you now more then ever but you are leaving me you are making me cry and making my heart die i will be cold hearted and alone for ever now where are the people i need they are gone they are in heaven why cant i get help from some one help help help help i am in love and no one can help me out here and show me there is a light at the end of this dark tunle i trail alone help me be with me i want you that all i can thing hold me tight wake me up from this bad dream i am having helppppppppppppppppppppp me plz some one baby i need you in my life is what i am screaming and no one is hearing me at all

HEY TO ANY WOMAN THAT ARE SINGLE AND NICE I HAVE A VERY LOVELY SINGLE MAN FOR YOU HE NICE CARING HE LIKE BEING A FREAK IN BED BUT HE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH HE IS LIVES IN LAKEWOOD HE WORKS AT WAWA AND SHOPRITE HE IS INTO ICP HIS NAME IS SHAWN HE HAS A NICE CAR NICE FRIENDS HE HAS HIS PIERCINGS ARE HIS EARS HIS TOUNG HIS NIPPLES HE HAS TATTOOS ONE ON HIS RIGHT SHOLDER ONE ON HIS LEFT ONE ON HIS LOWER ARE JUST DON’T KNOW WICH ONE AND ONE ONE HIS CHEAST AND ONE ON HIS LEG YOU HAVE TO BE AT LEST 18 AND UP HE IS 24 YEARS OLD UM HE HAS A MYSPACE BUT DON’T HURT HIM PLZ HE WILL HELP YOU AS LONG AS YOU HELP HIM HIS FAV COLOR IS GREEN HE LIKES HAVING FUN SO PLZ IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR CONTACT ME OR HIM HERE IS HIS MYSPACE LINK http://www.myspace.com/squirrelyyahomie

i got married to my wonderful bf aug 13 he is my best friend and best lover i have he is always there for me he is there when i wake up he is there when i go to sleep he is there no matter what happens and i love him for that i am so happy i meet him married him he is the best thing i ever got he is like a gift from god and my mom

why be in love if you r in hell you cant and the only way you can get out of hell if you love and make better but every thing you want is like a big circle one thing starts and then it finshes why does life seam like that your born to die born to hate then love every thing is in a circle wtf up with that why can life be simple if some one in love why do they fall out why if some one born then end up dieing cuz they need help and some one to take care of them again why breath air if you cant see it and are we breathing air or posin why not be able to choise when you want to die why be on life suppuort and be in pain why make some one feel love just to get ass why cant you be inloved and get ass why is the sky blue why is the grass green why not know these thing insted of asking life is a jurney so sit back and take a ride it might be a bumpy one with alot of suprizes thats how life works thats all i got to say bye