Well, just got back from the court house trying to figure out some things about all that is going on.
I have been told many of things by many people about what I should do about this custody thing. Really I do not want to take the kids out of their father's life because he is a great father. But I do have to question why does he let his fiance in on this dispute? She may be the next runner up to be his wife but she has nothing to do with my kids and this situation. They say that they want what is best for the kids though. They think that I can not give that to them and what they want in the perfect family. Well, I am not like that...this is the way the ball is played in my home.
Before I go into all of that I have to admit that I have not been the most perfect mother to these kids but I have been nothing but a hard working mother who loves her kids dearly and who is willing to fight for their return back into my arms, where they should be. So my eyes are wide open now to this situation. I know what I have to do. Jacob who is my four year old son needs to go to school this year...in August I will set that straight. He turns 5 in September. Samantha who is 2 years old will go to a daycare none the less and she will get some help with her learning criterias if there are any.
But there learning will not stop with school...as a mother I have to keep them learning all of the time; teach them new things about life and all that they should know as children and promising adults. I guess in the mean time I will learn to be a better mother and to give it all that I can to be one.
First I have to get those kids back and soon that will be done if Lorin C. Galvin has anything to do with it. He is the Director of the Conciliation and Mediation Services at the Douglas County Court house. I was told to go to the Conciliation Court because they could help me in this situation. The story is that my ex and I had a verbal agreement(nothing was written down) that he would come from Alabama--where he is stationed-- to get the kids here in Nebraska on December 30, 2006. This was where I made the mistake and had nothing written down stating that this exchange was going to happen. So now that my ex has the kids, he and his fiance are claiming that I am an unfit mother and that they want to do what is right for the kids by keeping the kids there so that I can get back on my feet....WRONGO! I know that I can get back in shape again but I do not need a miss prissy know it all who thinks that those kids would be better off with them tell me that.
I was almost going to accept the terms that they were offering though...but then I just thought about my lawyer that got me thru my divorce. I called her up the next day to find out if what they were doing was legal. And what she had told me...... I knew in my skin that they thought they had played me for a fool. I am no fool when it comes to finding out the facts that is for sure. So I had to do something.
I went to the court house to find answers today and boy did I get them. First I went to child support services and there was a nice lady by the name of Cindy I could talk to about this situation and she told me that I needed to go to the 1st floor and look for the Consolidation court...they would be able to help me out. Because in all reality, I was actually at the court house to find someway to get a court order to see if I can go to Alabama myself to get the kids without going to my attorney for help. But I found that in this situation it can not work out that way.
So here I am talking with the Director of Conciliation and Mediation Services on the 1st floor finally and found the answers that I were looking for. Need less to say, my ex should have only had the kids for just two weeks (when looking at the parenting plan on the decree of resolution), if the kids were to stay longer than that then there should have been something in written stating that this was to happen and that the children will be returned to me. But if you remember, my ex and I had a verbal agreement. So, the Director of these services, Mr. Lorin C. Galvin had to call my ex(Joe) to tell him that something had to be worked out otherwise he has no right to have the kids with him.
And would'nt you know it? Joe was cooperating. He said that if I can come next month to get the kids, he will be helpful in this matter, and will have no disputes. (Last night I was on the phone with his fiance and she was telling me that if I was to come down to get the kids there would be MPs standing at their door.....hmmmmm, but this never came from Joe's mouth though. I wonder why that is so? Probably because he is not man enough to speak on behalf of his children...or was it because his fiance just took the phone from him and she wanted to talk in his stead; I think it was that because really that is what she is good at these days)
Okay so I did something I knew I should not have done before I went to the court house to settle this thing. I also sent an email to Joe telling him what I knew and what I had all against him in this matter. (((I knew I just should have surprised him when I started knocking on his door oneday but I did this because if I were to come down possibly next month he had the right to know that I was using the child support to do it. It is also tax time too so he is not really out of the dark, financially speaking...he will find ways to catch up just like I will. So maybe by then he will be stable enough to take care of the kids in that manner.))) I have my lawyer to thank for that, though. So maybe he was all ready to cooperate by the time Mr. Galvin gave my ex a call? By refusing to give the kids back to me and deciding on their own terms when they feel it is best to bring the kids back was one thing I was not going to live with. So I had to seek some help in this matter and I certainly did.
Mr. Galvin was telling me that when I speak with Joe, he and I have to come up with some kind of an agreement when I can come get the kids or if we can meet half way. As it is financially, I can not do anything now because I am not working or going to school...which I do plan to do sometime soon. So I will have to use this child support when the time comes to it to actually come out and get my kids. Mr. Galvin's job is to contact Joe's unit commander and First Sgt to help make this exchange possible. That is a plus about my ex being in the military though....if joe does not cooperate then Mr. Galvin is in charge of getting things straightened out with his unit commander and first sgt. I feel so releaved now.
So now I have to go home to make contact with my ex and find out when we can make the exchange. Maybe this time his fiance will not get what she wants afterall.
