Cowboy Cassanova's blog: "General Stuff"

PARAMEDIC’S PRAYER Said everyday before going on shift Give to my heart, Oh Lord ... Compassion and understanding. Give to my hands skill and tenderness. Give to my ears the ability to listen. Give to my lips words of comfort. Give to me, Lord ... Strength for this selfless service. And enable me to give hope To those I am called to serve.

Paramedic’s Poem What's Your Name? I'm already going to lose you. I don't even know your name. In a world of flashing lights The sounds of glass and steel breaking free, For those few minutes, you belonged only to me. It was I who cut your shirt away To see your broken ribs Watching you labor with each breath As you fought to live. It was I who wiped the blood away When it pooled in your eyes, It was I who watched your heart beat As the Jaws freed you from your car. When we finally freed you, I was still there as we ran To the back of the ambulance, It was I who held your hand. The sounds of the sirens Rang loudly in my ears I looked for some small sign, Your lack of response renewed my fears. I breathed for you when you could not, I compressed your chest when your heart wouldn't beat. I prayed for you with each failure, I did not want to see defeat. I finally had to walk away Knowing the battle had been lost I saw your father in the hallway, One look, and I saw the awful cost. I gathered my equipment together, And I finally learned your name. Only 21, I said beneath my breath, My friends, I feel so drained. Your blood alcohol came back zero, The driver of the other car did not. He was alive and breathing, No witness to the battle we fought. I don't know how to say good-bye We never really said hello, But a piece of you is with me Everywhere I go.

All You YANKEES take note of this, this is how it is down south here, and you really need to get with the times. Ya see here I have outlined a few things that you 'need to know' in order to have a successful game. So read and take note. And all you SOUTHERN football fans, HELL YEAH! Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints to explain those differences. Women's Accessories: NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket. SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for. Stadium Size: NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people. SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people. Fathers: NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath. SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference. Campus Decor: NORTH: Statues of founding fathers. SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners. Homecoming Queen: NORTH: Also a physics major. SOUTH: Also Miss America. Heroes: NORTH: Rudy Giuliani SOUTH: Bear Bryant; Archie, Peyton and Eli Manning Getting Tickets: NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets. SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets. Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game: NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday. SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class. Parking: NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking. SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday. Game Day: NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV. SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day" is never broadcast from their campus. Tailgating: NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it. SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by taped highlights from the last 30 years of football games, the tailgate show on the radio, and "cold drinks" for everyone. Getting to the Stadium: NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in. SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city. Concessions: NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda. SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon. When National Anthem is Played: NORTH : Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up. SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. The Smell in the Air After the First Score: NORTH: Nothing changes. SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon. Commentary (Male): NORTH: "Nice play." SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs." Commentary (Female): NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport." SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs." Announcers: NORTH: Neutral and paid. SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team. After the Game: NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends. SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game

" THE OTHER WOMAN" After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman It was really my wife's idea. "I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested. "I know, but you also love her." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entrée, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I respond. During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, never-the-less, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for you wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you." At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off to "some other time".

Mommy's Little Angel Girl There came a frantic knock at the doctor's office door, A knock, more urgent than he had ever heard before. "Come in, Come in," the impatient doctor said, "Come in, Come in, before you wake the dead." In walked a frightened little girl, a child no more than nine, It was plain for all to see, she had troubles on her mind. "Oh doctor, I beg you, please come with me, My mother is surely dying, she's as sick as she can be." "I don't make house calls, bring your mother here," "But she's too sick, so you must come or she will die I fear." The doctor, touched by her devotion, decided he would go, She said he would be blessed, more than he could know. She led him to her house where her mother lay in bed, Her mother was so very sick she couldn't raise her head. But her eyes cried out for help and help her the doctor did, She would have died that very night had it not been for her kid. The doctor got her fever down and she lived through the night, And morning brought the doctor signs, that she would be all right. The doctor said he had to leave but would return again by two, And later he came back to check, just like he said he'd do. The mother praised the doctor for all the things he'd done, He told her she would have died, were it not for her little one. "How proud you must be of your wonderful little girl, It was her pleading that made me come, she is really quite a pearl! "But doctor, my daughter died over three years ago, Is the picture on the wall of the little girl you know?" The doctors legs went limp for the picture on the wall, Was the same little girl for whom he'd made this call. The doctor stood motionless, for quite a little while, And then his solemn face, was broken by his smile. He was thinking of that frantic knock heard at his office door, And of the beautiful little angel that had walked across his floor.

Little Fireman (very touching) The 26-year-old mother stared down at her son who was dying of leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had strong feeling of determination. Like any parent she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible. The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dreams to come true. She took her son's hand and asked, "Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?" "Mommy, I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up." Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we can make your wish come true." Later that day she went to her local fire department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob Klein, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her six-year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine. The fireman said, "Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! "And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy one - with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, and a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast." Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. Billy was "in heaven." There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode the different fire engines, the paramedic's van and even in the fire chief's car. He was also video taped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible. One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse began to call the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a fireman, so she called the fire chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition. The chief replied, "We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? It's just the fire department coming to see one of it's finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?" About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window, and 16 firefighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room. With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they loved him. With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, "Chief, am I really a fireman now?" "Billy, you are," the chief said. With those words, Billy smiled and closed his eyes one last time, as the fireman all stood around the bed with their hands to their foreheads in silent salute and with tears running down their cheeks. (The person who originally made this story available got to meet fireman Bob Klein in Phoenix, and Klein gave him the article from the Phoenix paper. That person said, as he passed this on, "It just keeps on coming back to me.") .... as it no doubt will to all of us.

Idiot # 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away. Idiot # 2 Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Idiot # 4 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Idiot # 5 A man walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. Idiot # 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. Idiot # 7 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Please remember that all of these people are allowed to vote

I WANT TO TELL YOU LIES I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies. You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did. You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside I want to say you'll be ok, I want to tell you lies. You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind. You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies. I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke. If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke. Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive. Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies. I want to say she'll be ok, you didn't take her life I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife. You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive. I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies. You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time. How could she have fallen from there? You thought she couldn't climb. I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine. I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies. I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies. You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun. Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done. You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five. I don't want to say she won't see six, I want to tell you lies. He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone. It was only for a second that you left him there alone. If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive. But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies. The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn and we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned. Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive. But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies. But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you. You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies. Dedicated to all the Police Officers, Firefighters, EMTs, Paramedics, Emergency Flight Crews and all civil servants who deal with the tragedies of life and death. The saddest of all, being those that involve children, and could have been prevented. Wear your seat belts. Keep poisons, flammables, fireworks, etc. out of reach of children. Keep your smoke alarm in operating order, if you don't have one, get one. Never, ever drive if you've been drinking. Never leave your toddler unattended. Teens, be responsible drivers, obey all traffic lights, posted limits, warnings and signals at RR crossings. Keep your guns locked and out of reach, buy a trigger guard. Protect our children, they are our future... Am I preaching? Am I nagging? I guess I am just telling it like it is... Or I could just tell you a lie.

HOW NOT TO ROB A BANK 1. PICK THE RIGHT BANK You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, Calif.,who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money. 2. SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER One robber in Upland, Calif., presented his note to the teller, and her father who was in the next line got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the nut to the ground and sat on him until the authorities arrived. 3. DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburg....on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit and in East Hartford. Conn., on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number. 4. GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE One robber dressed as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first in a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively identified by lip-print. 5. BE AWARE OF THE TIME To the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Mass., who hit the bank at 4:30PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic until the police arrived. 6. CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, R.I. robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket shot himself in the head and died instantly. 7. BE STRONG Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass. who when the teller told him she had no money fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby had the keys locked inside it.

Grace at McDonalds This is a good story, please read it all the way through. (After the story there are some very interesting facts!): I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you." I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope." We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE. If you think this story has touched you in any way, please send this to everyone you know. There is an Angel sent to watch over you. In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over. An Angel wrote: Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart. God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into it's nest. Keep this going. E-mail all your friends this message. E-mail all those friends you never met. and Those you have....