Im so fucked in the head from the thing that you said so blown away by what you said today the suicidal thoughts that ran through my head if i didnt stop and think id sure as fuck be dead suicide contemplations still run through now i think of the people and i wonder how those brand new are the ones that care and the ones who hurt me are those thatve been there thats some fuckd up shit, i feel so betrayed you guys takin shots at me when you cant get laid? that shit was confidential but fuck it lets tell em all say it was a fuckin joke man you got some balls and in my own god damn house, what kinda shit is that stop and think a second, where the fuck you at? you have no idea how the fuck you made me feel was 3 seconds away from 6 inches of steel the worst part is you dont see it as wrong maybe you will realize once you read along i just cant get over the feelings inside the moment you sad that is when i died inside you think i took off so i could go hide i thought of them and was slowly revived the people that love me, that truly give a shit, that dont pop off there mouth and look so ignorant i feel so angered, embarrassed, ashamed go ruin my rep and kill my fuckin name make the excuse id do the same to you but anyone who knows me know that shit aint true you think it was a joke, you thought that shit was funny next time at the bar find a new best buddy i dont want your pity, no more bullshit games everywhere i go its all the fuckin same the ones you think you trust always stab you in the back set the opportunity, and theyll set the attack all i see is steel slashing down my veins the warm red blood flowing down the lanes the blood drips down my body to a puddle on the ground the pain feels so good and noone hears a sound i feel so alive and its only the beginning im finally fuckin happy, the start of my sinning the people who love me flash in my mind as i drift back i know that thats a sign nows not the time wait until another day until another time the steel will be saved and as the day closes i take a look back still so mindfucked that shit was whack think before you speak or heed the consequences more often then not the results are still pretentious Dustin B. Unrath 7/8/08

Impatience, betrayal, and noone to save you the mind fucks and fighting, im tired of trying reliving the past, i feel like dying anger and hate, im tired of lying the internal scars that never do show the pain and the rage that always grow all the emotions that boil when stowed with death contemplations time goes so slow the past catches up in the blink of an eye emotion escapes in a tear from an eye a glance at opportunities that passed you by all the little things you missed on the fly the evil i deal and the pain that i feel it seems so unreal, but ill never heal look to the sky for an answer in the stars and i wonder how ive even made it this far realize real life isnt that hard your dealt your hand, you play your card come stumbling back from a haunting past i never realized itd be back so fast ive never realized my life is so trashed or how bad my past and future will clash the past is the past but it always comes back throwing a wrench in a new set of tracks its always the bad things that i attract sinks deep inside just to fade black the sounds they fade but the pictures lay stained i try to focus but my vision is strained all of this shit engrained in my brain just another trip down memory lane no matter how hard i fight it its always ignited so im constantly plighted its easy to hide it but it leaves me insight, why the futures not bright why my head not on right, why i like to fight my defense against the world, so they dont freeze in my cold for the whole in my soul so they're not caught in the hold i stare in amazement at what ive done seeing vast nothingness thats only begun to disguise the critique i hide in the sun for now the is just set to stun a shadow of doubt, the pain of remorse the past becomes a deadly dark force the actions you take drive your lifes course redelivering emotions that once were stored i grow and know that lifes not fair but living the pasts a real nightmare sometimes at night i sit and i stare a lonely know that noones there i hide myself while crying lowly wondering why im dying so slowly and will i turn out good, never knowing wondering why noones showing Dustin B. Unrath 6/10/08

It makes me wonder when i stare into these eyes where will the world be when i die where will i be in this hell on earth will i have lived or still bear this curse this curse that instills unhappy happenings sometimes i feel like the whole worlds stabbing me incriminating evidence, intimidating presences searing through my elements, everytime i fell again noone there to pick me up, lonely lies and sins suffer every burn and cut, as the storm begins to roll in as the rain pours down i just sit and soak drowning in my pity on my own words i choke i know ill never understand how this crazy world works but i can only imagine how much more i can endure and the weight of the world, of something so cold or the painful reminiscing of someone to hold i remember the past and see what i had it went by so fast and now i am left sad what will they say as im lying in my bed the deadly premonitions of letters never read what will they do when they realize what ive spoken the prediction of atrocity from another heart broken another soul seeker falls weak at the knees, while yet another just trips on the breeze we never really realize the world isnt what it seems until we have our own worlds ripped apart at the seams we never believe it until we see it, a season of treason about us benefit of doubt to try to relieve us, left with no reason to doubt us what you see isnt always what you get, someda it all falls through but live your life with no regrets, theres nothing left to lose misery loves company like death loves the dark as depression increases it flows off the charts the feelings concealed but never revealed, bound by lock and chain feeling creative and under sedated, can still feel the pain it does is best to never rest, this shadow of remorse hiding inside, the line dived the toll and takes is course the writing and rhyming of off colored timing feelings and fighting are what truly define me, the battles in my mind the understated and underrated bond by common grounds cuz both are related and both are hated due to what has been found so when the time comes for my life to be done where will my place be where is fun, my feelings will run, what will they see deep inside tempers blaring, cuz noone is caring, fooled by lust again there'll be a day the price you will pay when you wont trust again and as my time closes the better i feel fuck all the roses, no use to me,i know ill never heal the faster i fall the shorter the call when the ends near, have no fear a pictures worth 1000 words but a memorys forever think about hearts of past and nothing will get better Dustin B. Unrath 6/8/08

Im sick of playing games, not sayin any names, but no one seems to understand Nothing is fine, nothings alright, my life really isnt that grand Its not what you see but what you believe that keeps you in the dark no one ever prys no one ever tries, thats why no ones ever seen the spark too easy to recite, too easy too ignite, but also to easy to hide very few've been deemed worthy, very few have seen, the demons hidden inside perhaps id be more open, maybe more outspoken, if someone gave a fuck until the day arises, full of its surprises, my writings where im stuck I spill my feelings through this pen, and every time i start again, it seems its something new it seems im trapped and fading black so whats a man to do?? zoning alone, in the cold and unknown, facing his demons himself on one to find, no one designed for his through sickness and health You dont see him screaming while he battles his demons, you dont realize his troubles he shows you his "world", where everythings gold, but never inside the bubble so you never see past, the unstable glass that blurs the outside view you have no idea of what hes been seeing, of what he wants to do of finding the irony, in trying to describe, the hand of what has been wrote only he knows well, the depths of his hell, his own hand at his throat and all of the oddity, of this foreign commodity, that never seems to tighten and a glance to the past, the shadow still lasts, his spirits never brighten and still with his illusion, so come the conclusion, the story of his years another day awaits, where no one can relate, alone to face his fears Dustin B. Unrath 4/30/08

This session of writing, depression inside me, my life slowly slipping away im getting bored easy, ya life is just teasing, and i dont know just what to say ive fallen and spoken, yes my hearts been broken, but thats not why im here her feelings evade me, shes driving me crazy, so why is this feeling so dear? ive mended, transcended, made my way back up, so why do i feel like this? my being transpires, for my true desire, perhaps its the feelings i miss the touching and dancing, of younger romancing, back when times were good im feeling so weary, my thoughts are so dreary, and im just so missunderstood the feelings that find me, dont often describe me, for i often wear a mask i wear it wisely, im often disguised see, and noone ever sees past my feelings concealed, no nothings revealed, noone knows something is wrong and tis not the season, perhaps its the reason, but why is this feeling so strong? fell my body collapse, as my mind gets trapped, only one thing stays the same my heart is still beating, my mind keeps repeating, just one word.. a name how can this happen, and why in this fashion, whats going on in my life why do i worry, ya why do i scurry, theres still so much to decide so strong my emotion, as such my devotion, why does this happen to me? they say great things last, but i fall so fast, so why is it she cant see? the cold and depression, await my confession, to omit my sins to them but slowly im changing, my lifes rearranging, continuing to stem if ever its over, of loss and of closure, then happiness may be found but until the day, where the games wont be played, i cannot sleep sound the clock is ticking, ya its got me thinking, the feelings follow me so until the day, where my mind gets saved, i cannot be free silent i stand, for the world to understand, its just another day the cold sinks in, and settles again, as slowly my life slips away. Dustin B. Unrath april 8th 2008

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/godhatesthephelps/ thats the link to a petition...a petition against the phelps website...the very same people waving signs and boycotting a soldiers death...they claim american sodliers dyin over seas are gods warning...thats bullshit...help me out and sign that petition if you support your country and your military...if you even have a shred of humanity in you youll sign it...thanks

and just in case you need a refresher on who they are heres the vid of her on hannity and colmes

i hate myself... i hate the things i do and say, the way i act...the way i treat people theres so many people i treat like shit.... idk how many girls i call babe or hun.. i flirt with girls all the time... i hate that i dont want to but i still do it anyways dk how many girls over the years have told me that they love me...or that they are in love with me...and i just keep leading them on i hate how i buy things on impulse and spend all my money i hate how i can be cocky and actually be confident around my friends but when it comes time i cant do anything.. i hate how i cant tell the women i like or love or have feelings for that i have and feel those things for them i hate how no matter what i do or how hard i try to make people happy and give them the best i still get fucked over to be honest i hate how i look, i hate my personality...the only thing i really like about myself is my body and even thats starting to fail me... hate how i cant even be the real me on the internet where you can be anyone you want... i hate the fact that i preach the quote give everyday your best effort and never regret anything...lifes to short to have regrets and anything youve done in your past you enjoyed or wanted to do at the time yet my lifes filled with regrets i hate the fact that ive been a typical guy before, i have used girls, ive said whatever i needed to say just to get me some... i hate the fact that im a half assed perfectionist...theres somethings that if i start doin it it has to be finished, it has to be perfect... i hate the fact that im imperfect and that i dwell on my imperfections when they are things that arent fixable instead of focusing on the good things and improving them i hate the fact that the only way i can truly express myself is through writing and people still dont understand.... i hate that i cant just sit there and talk with someone face to face about fucked up shit.. i hate the fact that i have feelings and that i push them all down inside of me so they boil and bubble and come out as anger...i hate the fact that i love being an angry person i hate the fact that there are people like you out there who have been through alot more shit then i have but you can still be optimistic about life....that you can still see the good in things...cuz i sit around feeling sorry for myself instead of doing something about it i hate the fact that i act like im practically retarded so everyone has lower expectations of me....and moreso i hate the fact that i hurt and upset the people that i care about most because theyve seen and know what im capable of... i hate being a dissapointment to my friends and family...to those who love me and care about me, who always have and always will...... i hate the fact that suicides always seemed like a reasonable first option when i feel like im about to break.... i hate the fact that as solid as i may seem im as fluid as a river as transparent as a ghost, as soft as a rose petal i hate the fact that it doesnt matter what the problem is i will fight you tooth and nail to solve it.... i hate the fact i hate me for who i am...i hate me for what i do....i hate me because its so much easier to accept defeat...to be lazy and not change the things i can... but most of all i hate that hating me doesnt change a damn thing...it doesnt make a lick of difference to anyone anywhere and it doesnt solve a single one of my problems...i hate that i know that and i hate that theres nothing i can do about it...

"pain is the only thing that lets me know im still real, still alive.."i like it cuz thats how i feel...everyday americas a bunch of drones...nobody ever really thinks for themselves...americas so corporated and everything has to be politically correct...most people think what they are told to...they are guided by the government....consumerism is at rediculous rates...buy this ok..buy that ok...just because a pretty face recommends it..so pain is the only thing that tells me im not just another drone in the face of the world..in our great nation...the united states of america...i think thats why i really like eminem...because thats practically what he preaches...

The rush of the lies and deceit in you eyes girl you got me hypnotized dont you start to cry you dont have the to handle the shit im goin through dont get me wrong its not just you you dont even know the things you do to me if you could step in my shoes what would you see a path of hate and anger, of fury and rage knowing so long that you've kept me caged its not your fault you tried to set me free i kept trying to believe that you could love me all you deliver is heartbreak and hell and just sit here trapped in my cell my emotions devour me but ive not yet fell i push them down to my boiling well a vat of feelings mixed and astir sent to the pit cuz of you not her ever so steady but always rising this is what most starts to define me rising to fast and about to explode if i keep holding on i may be exposed i may be exposed to my true inner being not what everyone believes there seeing an inner battle of anger and lust displaying me to the one i trust these battles i face i need to keep but the well within only goes so deep you all see what i want you to see youd be terrified if you knew the real me every little cut, all my inner scars you could try to explore me, but you wouldnt get far supress my emotions, sheathe my face if the demons escape ive damaged your fate you see the nice, the happy, the sweet noone knows the war waging underneath steel eyed and hard faced giving nothing away saving the fire for another day quick to restrain lest the devil be tempted prepared to withhold i hold the preemptive should my tainted soul be tested i will know ive not been bested lay down my head and rest with ease knowing another day they have been seized last thing i think to myself is how i will stop tomorrows hell pent up now, deep safe inside caged for now, the inevitable can only hide Dustin B. Unrath May 9 07

So sick of this life, sick of trying to hide survive under disguise, but im tired of this lie pain to hard to describe wanna be happy but cant find the time cant find a reason why so scared and confused cuz im feelin so used hiding from the truth leading my life in the wrong fuckin way gettin in trouble every other fuckin day my own thoughts leading me astray on the right path im tryin to stay for my mistakes i dearly pay something good comes but shes so far away all you see is the design of the mask missing the signs all to fast i cant be me when my whole worlds crashed cant repair this shit, the damage is too vast im all fucked up the votes been cast its all sitting pretty,dead in the past i cant take this shit, its fucked me up bad my life is fucked up, its really kinda sad i cant help but think i really need my dad i was always in a safe zone under his wing im fucked up my life when i went to do my own thing i know my fucked up life comes as a sting i cant be playin these fucked up games everyday i wake up its always the same i look in the mirror i feel so ashamed like what the fuck, this aint how i was raised the way i see myself i keep myself goin insane so many fucked up things runnin through my brain every mistake is one big stain always tearing through another page my life keeps steppin up to a harder stage but everyday trapped in the same cage all that i think about keeps me enraged and all other feelings start to fade an attack on my mind, another raid i joined the army when i should've stayed thoughout life all feelings change everytime i think, i see myself, all i see is pain i just cant stop thinkin, i keep myself crazed take a look at my life, im at a standstill take a look at my life, let me pop those pills take a look in my eyes, hate is all i feel look deep into my eyes, i am not real. Dustin B. Unrath Nov 28 07