Blue Smoke's blog: "A little to the left... there we go."

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Douchebag Alert! Douchebag Alert! Douchebag Alert!

This individual made some inappropriate comments to my wife on Fubar. He was given an opportunity to retract them and declined. As such, I'm doing what I think is best and making it easy for everyone else to avoid such a situation and make a preemptive block. If you're anything like me, you'll want to see the situation for yourself, and as I feel it would be in poor taste to repeat the things he said, I invite you to ask him for yourself. If you trust me sufficiently, then you may take this as a fair warning and proceed directly to a block. I am quite alright with either outcome, as long as this man is not allowed to make any more women feel cheap or like less then a lady.

 

If you have a mind to treat a woman like this yourself... be wary. Women in packs can, and given reason, will hurt you... badly.

 

Thank you for your time.

Ken

Been a little while since I posted. Just wanted to let loose a little while on a break at work. So, it was foggy this morning. Very foggy in fact. They put the schools on a delay because of it. Something about it was wonderful though. It seemed... clean. It was as if it masked things distant, giving only a short view. In certain circumstances, a short view is more pleasant then a long one, and this morning was an example of that. I must admit however that my outlook on things as of late is much to the contrary. Equal but opposite in fact. Times are tough, and things suck for a lot of people. I'm doing well myself, but preparing for the unexpected either way. The short view for me consists of making a major promotion at my day job, reenlisting with the Reserves for another 6 years (still feels weird to say, but I'm actually happy here), and lining myself up to finally, viably go back to school. A lot of hard work in the short term, but the long view is nice. It's full of hope and opportunity. I don't mean to be overly optimistic, but the bottom line is, if you mean to shoot a target, buckshot gives much better odds of a hit then a slug. The politics of today sometimes are disappointing, but things are getting better, mostly we're all just realizing how bad they really were. Most of us, myself included, refused to believe it for a long time, but here it is now, in our faces. Time to deal. I think things are really not so bad. I'm young, and my savings is small, and I did lose about 45% of it in the downturn, but I didn't sell anything, and none of the stuff I owned went away. To me, since I'm still buying every paycheck, that means I'm just getting more shares for the same dollar. It is bound to come at least most of the way back before my time to retire comes along, and when that day DOES come, well, suffice it to say I'm not smart enough to project what the world will be like, or dumb enough to think I am. I have some ideas though, and I'll do my part to see them come to fruition. The fog always lifts eventually, and when it does, I'm hopeful that the view will be even better.
Ken

I've had this car for a long time. It's a beautiful car that may not be big on features, but suited me well and was dependable as one could ever ask for. I got used to it. Comfortable in it. Accustomed to the fact that it was always there. As the years went on, I started to think I wanted more. I saw another car. Learned all about it. Fell in love with it. I got to see it a few times, but never drove it. I had dreams about it. Fantasies. Thought about things I had no business thinking about when I already had a great car. As time went by, I started to lose sight of how great the car I already had was. I started to see all the things about it that were not like the new car as flaws. The new car was a perfect for me, but the old one was still very good. I went to a dealer and tried to make a trade. I had to wait for the new one to come in, and lose the old one now. In a rash move, I accepted the deal. I found myself with no car, and a harsh future to get the new one. I didn't even make it a day before I felt the pain of it. Maybe I'd jest become too used to the comfort of my old one. Perhaps I really had made a mistake. The next day, I pleaded with the dealer to reverse my offer, and under a significant loss to myself, he accepted. I have my old car back, and I'm happy with it again, but I still think of the old car. I can't see it anymore. I can't learn about it anymore, but I still think about it. Endlessly. It is a beautiful car, and I really hope it gets an owner that will appreciate it for what it is. I'm a pig. Ken

You know those people, frustrated with love and "losing" at it? They have a phrase, more common today then in the past, and I'm not sure if that's by virtue of the way relationships have changed over time, or if by the mere change of culture in which they occur. "I'm just tired of the games!" I wonder to myself... why? The games are fun. They are exciting. That's why we play them. But what are they? Well, I've made my own assessment, and I'll share it with you, as well as my reasoning for keeping them. I've taken on a new philosophy. I do this every year or so. I don't throw out the old ones, but I'll add a new facet if I feel I need to for my own growth. This one has been interesting so far. I don't lie. It's simple enough. I was a pretty big liar when I was a kid, and it didn't work out well for me. I grew up a bit and didn't lie anymore, or at least I didn't think I did. Sometimes when faced with authority and a need to slip out of an obligation or avoid a fight, I'd lie. You know... a little one. Yes I checked the locks. Yes I swept the floor. Yes I've done this before. Whatever right? Well, now I have a new perspective, and it frightens people. You ask me a question and you better be ready for the truth. Most people are not. That being said, I define the whole "games" thig as the game that people play with each other when they want to see how much they like one another. What's allowed. Where the line is. It's a game of emotional whits. Self control versus the drive to move on, and the ability to balance the two without looking like a fool in your own head. It's tricky. It's scary. It's riveting, and I cannot understand why anyone would want to pass it up. For what? Empty sex? What fun is that really? You take all the emotion out of it and it's all mechanics. You might as well have a doll or a "coin-operated-boy" as the Dresden Dolls put it. I want to know what other people think. Do you really think life would be better without the games? Or are you just sick of not doing as well at them as you would like to? If you agree that the games are indeed the unknown play that allows you to be excited about what's to come, then I want to know how you feel about the idea of not having them.
Ken

Ok, so I'm now finally home from half a year of computer training. I'm an officially licensed and certified geek now. The ceremony where they give you taped up glasses and a pocket protector however had to go on without me however, as getting back was all I was concerned about. Now I AM back, and I can access the internet again. There's something ironic about an information technology and networking school that makes it so difficult to get on the internet. All of that aside, I'm home again and I mean to enjoy it. I'll likely be on and off of computers more lately, so feel free to drop me a line if you haven't in a while. I'm still alive, in fact, perhaps more so now then before! Ken

So, in order to get out of working out in the morning once a week, I decided to go to this "Tobacco sessation program" they have for soldiers and their dependants here on Fort Gordon. I really was not there to quit smoking... but... things happen I guess.

Today I am 48 hours smoke free, and according to the propaganda they gave me, in another 24, I'll be totally free of nicotine in my system. Then, the increments increase, and other fun stuff happens to your body as it becomes smoke free... yadda, yadda, yadda. Truth be told, I just don't see the point anymore. They gave me some medicine to help with the cravings, and short of a few social situations and the physical habit, that was all it took. I went to a bar the night I quit. I got pretty drunk too (I live at a hotel within walking distance of about 5 bars... beat that!) but really didn't need to smoke. Last night, I was the DD, and didn't smoke then either, but still had fun. Perhaps it's the medication... but why did I wait to do this?  I kept saying that I would quit eventually, but why wait so long? Ah screw it. This is my public declaration that shows I mean it.

I don't smoke anymore!

There, now don't go teasing me, because that's counterproductive. I made a declaration because I hate beig wrong, and I don't want to be proven so. This is my way of ensuring I can't back out after the medicine goes away. Thanks in advance for all your help.

Ken

I'm back! So, I've been out of the “mix” for a while. Many weeks leading up to my current position, and a few after arriving to get settled in to it, but here I am now, and things are not so bad. For those of you not in the know... the Army called me back about 6 months ago, and I pulled a few strings to make the experience as useful to me as I could. As such, I'm in Fort Gordon right now (that's in Georgia) learning computers. Not a bad gig, ad it pays well once I re-establish myself as a civilian. Everyone likes a computer guy these days. I took my first test last night and passed. Not an excellent score, but well within passing range. I got a laptop so that I can now do a little better at keeping up with my writing and other correspondence. Things get all gummed up in your head if you can't express them in your own way, and I simply have not had the capacity to do so that I hoped I would until now. Not much else to say for the moment, but If things go the way I hope they will... I'll be back to say more later, and have I got some stories to tell! Ken

Ok, so I'm writing this to help clarify at least my side of what has happened. Take it for what it's worth. This is mostly for current and former members and staff of the Flirty Club Lounge which I departed last night. I don't know how effective a means of communication a blog is for such a thing, but at least I'll be on record so to speak.
I joined the aforementioned lounge about 2 weeks ago, very shortly after it's creation. I was then made staff by it's owner without ever asking to be such or indicating any interest. Despite this fact, I tried to do my best to make the lounge enjoyable for all. It's owner, Iris, does not speak English very well, so I had to struggle at times to understand what she wanted done, but I made the effort and saved the day more than once. I had been pressured by others to leave, but I maintain a sense of loyalty to the owner who had entrusted me and the staff and other members who were kind and friendly to me. Iris had been going on for a week before last night about the auction she wanted to hold for the staff members. It seemed interesting, but was not well organized or outlined by her. I even went so far as to hold my own contest the night before with Fubucks as prize money in an effort to stimulate interest in said auction. She did not attend due to other obligations, which I can understand, but last night was the auction itself, and it's execution left a lot to be desired. I made an effort, in her absence until 10 minutes until it's scheduled start time, to organize it and set up rules. She came in at the last minute, and seemed to have expected what I was doing. As if it was my responsibility from the start. It was not, and I did not even find it a wise idea, but she had promised it and I did not want the lounge of which I was a proud member and staffer to look bad. So, I did my best to officiate it. She stepped in to tell me that she herself would not be up for auction, so I made a last minute adjustment to take her off of the list. Then, before things finished up... I got another message from her telling me to add her back in. I knew at this point that the rewards of my effort were far outweighed by the pains of it, and decided that I would try to finish it well, and ask to be removed from staff. She did not take this well... She in fact... banned me simply for asking to step down. It appears to me that she has always handled this lounge as her own personal "who do I like" club, and thrown common sense and fairness out of the window. I wish her well in keeping it going for the sake of the others who enjoy it, but I will be there no more. I may start a new lounge of my own, with my own rules and ideas to run it, and if so, all of you are welcome there, but I can understand if your own sense of loyalty prevents you. Thank you for taking the time to at least see what I had to say about the issue. I leave it to you to decide for yourself what is right.
Blue Smoke
A.K.A.
Ken

So, I've been stalling on writing this, the words have been lost on me, but here goes my best attempt to stifle my procrastinatory tendencies. As many of you know, I served with honor in the 82D Airborne Division of the United States Army for 4 long years. Much of that time spent in Iraq. I tried not to be bitter for the fact that I had joined to go to Afghanistan and ended up in Iraq, and just decided for myself that when my time was up, I would politely take my leave. And so I did. Here I am, 2 years (come October 3rd) after watching Ft. Bragg shrink in my rear view mirror for the last time, and I have had an interesting turn of events. You see, the thing they don't tell you in the Army o' One commercials is that whenever you sign up... you do so for 8 years. Oh sure... you can get a 6, 4, or even a 3 year contract when going in, but from the moment you sign said contract... they make you their possession until 7 years 364 days later. Well, if you are any good with math, you'll realize that that leaves me with 2 years of retention in what is called the Inactive Ready Reserve, or IRR. There has been some quiet news stories over the past few years of just HOW they are "backdoor-drafting" people who have already served a reasonable obligation back into service. I honestly didn't give the thought that they would do it to me much thought... but they did. They wanted me to be an MP and kick in doors for the next 2 years. No thanks. Been there... done that... got the CAB. But what could I do? Well, A friend of mine recently dealt with the same problem, and having heard his solution, I applied it to my own. I beat them to the punch. I got myself voluntarily re-activated into a local reserve unit with no combat mission. Sorry fellas... I've done my time, and now, I'm gonna be an Information Systems Specialist (25B) A.K.A. Computer Geek. It requires me to cut my hair and shave my face again, which I don't much care for, as I am still baby-faced enough to make being taken seriously for my accomplishments difficult. Oh well. At least I'm in control to SOME extent.
Ken

I'd like to get a prostitute. Who wouldn't right? But there is a real fascination with me as of late. It's the IDEA of it that has me... the reality still makes me turn away a bit. I don't mean any disrespect to the women who do this, it's just the whole "STD/getting your money stolen" cliches that hold so strongly to the profession. I read something in Playboy some time ago where they talked about women who do this and make an effort to build themselves a positive reputation at it. A website which catalogs and rates them on their performance. Seems a step in the right direction. I also watched a program on TV about the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas, which houses some proud and thorough professionals. I try to take a little time to consider the appeal. Buying a fantasy is often worth the money if it means enough to you. Besides... if most guys are like me... they can recycle that fantasy into some solo work for months, even years to come. The question then becomes "If I was going to pay for one... what would I want?" I've been contemplating that question for a while now. It's been a journey of self exploration. What is it I want in a fantasy? I made a kind of list in my head. Perhaps you will see something in it that I don't. I like the idea of a woman with class. Charm. I don't believe this to be mutually exclusive to the profession, and as such need one who is at peace with what they do for a living. I want one who will take some time to get to the money making. You pay them for their time apparently, so it's not likely to be a big problem, but I like not to be rushed. I like to develop a rapport with the woman. Flirt. Tease. This comes to my next bit... the tricky part. I want to tease her as much as she does me. I want for her to desire what is to come and not see it as a chore to be gotten through. I like the idea of taking my time and having that create an emotional dynamic. Lastly is the part that may well cut out the whole prostitute thing all together. I DON'T want to know it's a sure thing. I like the suspense. I like not being sure how far it will go. There is an electricity there. Not just anticipation... but a kind of effort. Putting on your own personal best in the hopes of your own mental "best case scenario". It's so much more exciting when it works out. I think the bottom line for me is... I can't KNOW it's a pro. Somebody would have to buy it for me or something. And to be honest... there are not many I would trust to play to my own personal tastes for such a thing. Maybe I should just try to meet somebody real... It could work... you think?
Ken