So a book was published a few weeks ago by two researchers who had surveyed more than a thousand women on the UT Austin campus. It purports to answer the big question of – drumrolllll - why women have sex (that is also the book’s title). 84%, it was claimed, answered that they usually were just looking for a little peace and quiet and/or some help with household chores. Some of the more depressing answers:
“I have sex to relieve the boredom because it’s easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do.”
“I slept with a couple of guys because I felt sorry for them.”
In one survey of students, nearly one in 10 women admitted to “having sex for presents”. Others said: “He bought me a nice dinner”, “he spent a lot of money on me early on”, “he showed me he had an extravagant lifestyle”.
Another “sexologist” recently weighed in on these answers with some of her own, after the jump. Plus: a poll!
So those answers made women look kind of bad, huh? At least 10% gold-diggers and many more either manipulative or easily manipulated. So Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, professional sex-haver and author of Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots (who knew that could fill a whole book?), decided to rebut with these reasons:
If you ask me, and lot of other women of all ages and backgrounds out there, the reason women have sex, they’ll tell you… They’re having sex to express affection, to get in tune with their sexual core and feel sexy, to make love, to feel close to another, to maintain a long-term relationship by keeping the passion alive, to relish a shared, special moment… and because they like sex when it feels good.
The impulse is definitely to disagree with the initial findings, isn’t it? If you’re a woman, you want to believe that sex isn’t a chore or a means to an end, and if you’re a man, you want to believe that women aren’t simply tolerating your love skillz because they want a new iPod (or because they feel sorry for you, bummer). But maybe that’s all true, I have no idea! So I turn it over to you, women. Why do you have sex?
My opinion is that some of this is right.
-There are many women that have sex to "get something out of it" because they arent deriving any physical pleasure from it (and this could be because their partner sucks or because they themselves are not in touch with their own bodies to even know what it is they want, like, desire etc.)
- There are those out there that have sex (most of this group is insecure, or attention whores, or something psychologically wrong with them) does it for the "validation" sex supposedly gives. They no longer feel 'invisible' or 'undesirable' if a man wants to have sex with them. (little do they know that the majority of men seemingly can have sex with anything... as they are just not that descriminant. Sex is the prime objective, where they get it is truly not of concern - as witnessed from the many pickup lines/instaf*ck invitations/NSA'FUN'/c*ck camming that the guys just on this site alone are putting out there...
- There are those that are seemingly as mechanical about sex and wanting to 'get a nut off' as the guys are. These girls usually have a disorder -- Sex Addicts, Nymphomaniacs etc. THESE are a guys dream cause they are girls that treat sex and the guys they are having it with just like the guys treat girls (the ones looking for NSA that is)
- There are the cougars .... (IMHO I think these women are somewhat midlife crisising. When you watch these shows about cougars and the young men that want someone like that, if you use even an ounce of psychology in the evaluation most instances the situation screams that this group is looking for some validation as well.... validation that they arent getting old and unattractive, that they are still desirable, that they still have what it takes) very predatory. Looking mostly for well younger men that are impressionable in order to mold them into what exactly they need.
- There are the rare few that like sex because they are in touch with themselves, they are descriminant about their partners and derive great pleasure from the encounters they have. There are VERY VERY few of these women in the world.
These are just some of my theories. I would have to be honest enough to say that I have been through everyone one of these "groups" and reasons for being sexual other than being someone who had sex to get gifts or being someone who has a disorder like sexual addiction or nymphomania. I have been the woman looking for validation, the one doing it because I felt like I owed it to the guy cause he spent alot of money on taking me out and I felt he expected something in return, I have been protrayed as the cougar but thats not it as described within this blog and I am the woman thats entirely in touch with myself and very descriminant with whom I pair with. I guess I feel its imparative to add this so that it doesnt seem as if I just made this stuff up... I have experienced a majority of it, and Im still experiencing. Its life... and I live it and learn.
Disclaimer** Im not man bashing here. there are just a majority of men than I have come across in my interactions that I feel behave in the manner in which I have described. I have not indicated at all that ALL men are this way and it wasnt intended to come across that way either.
