You Know You're From California If: My shit in ()
Willys cynical thought for the fucking day;
Except for crossing the awesome border into awesome Mexico in like 1973 or 4, we came back through awesome Texas, my awesome ass never like been back! Somebody, from awesome California, tell me like this isn't how they talk! I'll KNOW you just like told a awesome fuckin' lie!
So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:
1. Your (awesome) coworker has 8 (awesome) body piercing's and (like) none are visible!
2. You make over (like) $300,000 and still can't afford a (awesome) house!
3. You take a (awesome) bus and are (like) shocked at two people carrying on a (awesome) conversation in (like) English!
4. Your child's (awesome) 3rd-grade teacher has (awesome) purple hair, a (awesome) nose ring, and is (like) named Flower!
5. You can't remember ... is (awesome) pot illegal?
6. You've been to a (awesome) baby shower that has (like) two mothers and a (awesome) sperm donor!
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can (like) taste the difference between (awesome) Sumatran and (like) Ethiopian!
8. You can't remember... is pot (like) illegal?
9. A really (awesome) parking space can (like) totally move you to tears! (Especially at awesome Starbucks!)
10. (Awesome) Gas costs (like) $4.00 a (goddamn) gallon!
(11. First stop in your awesome car on the way to your awesome job is like the awesome Starbucks there you like order an awesome "El Grande Iced Expresso Latte" and like pay with your like awesome credit card!)
(12. You tell everybody like you can't stand that sleezy Bitch, Paris Hilton, but you like wrote a awesome letter to awesome Arnold Swarzenegger to get her awesome ass out!)
http://www.willyblues.com/
