BDSM is any of a number of related patterns of human sexual behavior. The major subgroupings are described in the abbreviation "BDSM" itself:
* Bondage & discipline (B&D)
* Domination & submission (D&S)
* Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)
Many of the specific practices in BDSM are those which, if performed in neutral or nonsexual contexts, could be considered unpleasant, undesirable or abusive. For example, while pain, physical restraint and servitude are traditionally inflicted on persons against their will and to their detriment, in BDSM, these activities are engaged in with the mutual consent of the participants, and typically for mutual enjoyment. Any "consent" may or may not amount to legal consent and represent a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused.
This emphasis on informed consent and safety is also known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer the term RACK (risk-aware consensual kink), believing that it places more emphasis on acknowledging the fact that all activities are potentially risky. There is discussion and dispute about the meaning or intent of the terms, but in essence, both terms refer to all participants acknowledging and accepting some level of risk.
* BDSM may or may not involve sex of any kind.
* BDSM may or may not involve sexual roleplaying.
* How dominant or submissive a person may be in their regular life does not necessarily indicate which role they will play in a scene. Some might opine that there is roughly an inverse relationship.
* Some BDSM players are polyandrous or sexually monogamous but engage in non-sexual play with others.
* A couple may engage in BDSM sexuality with an otherwise non-Dominant/submissive relationship dynamic.
BDSM may encompass the following practices:
* erotic spanking,
* bastinado,
* flagellation such as flogging (see cat o' nine tails),
* whipping
* paddling,
* sensory deprivation,
* movement restriction,
* suspension,
* sensation play (i.e. the use of such objects as fur, ice, Wartenberg wheels, TENS devices, etc to induce desired sensations in the bottom),
* medical submission (i.e. a submissive partner that submits to medical procedures which may or may not be humiliating and/or painful).
BDSM activities are practised by people of all sexualities. Many practise their BDSM activities exclusively in private, and do not share their predilections with others. Others socialize with other BDSM practitioners. One relatively new phenomenon is the practice of BDSM within the MMO Red Light Center in which users of the virtual reality software make use of avatars in the fully equiped dungeon and BDSM rooms to practice the activities on other live users in a virtual way.
The BDSM community can be regarded as a subculture within mainstream society. Being involved in a local BDSM community is referred to as being "in the lifestyle." There are BDSM communities with varying degrees of organization in all parts of the world. Large cities and small town alike have organizations where BDSM participants meet to learn, share and practice. These groups are often underground and can be hard to find, but as society becomes more and more accepting, the groups are coming out of the closet. In the United States, some of these communities have even applied for and been granted 501C status as educational and community support groups.
A 1990 Kinsey Institute report stated that 5% to 10% of Americans occasionally engage in sexual activities related to BDSM. This was based on the 1983 "Playboy Readers Sex Survey" by Walter Lowe. There has been an explosive growth in the BDSM community since the 1983 study, which raises the possibility that the 1983 figures are unrepresentative of current behavior.
There are a few Basic Principles
Based on Jay Wiseman
1) BDSM play should be safe, sane and consensual or risk aware consensual kink.
2) Know your SM players. Do not have BDSM play with strangers.
3) Always inform a friend that you are having BDSM play: where, when and with whom. Use safe calls.
4) Always use safe words, i.e., 911 or red (STOP), yellow (slow down) and/or safe gestures (tap foot three times).
5) Negotiate the scene before you start. Communicate your limits, medical conditions, medications, experience and desires.
6) "No limits" is fantasy. Every sane player has limits. Do not be embarrassed to express them to the dominant player(s).
7) Do not have BDSM play while intoxicated or seriously stoned.
8) Expect the unexpected (fire, power failure, medical emergency, etc.) and be prepared. Another man’s life is in your hands.
9) Always have a first aid kit nearby.
10) Don’t play with a person unless you feel absolutely safe!
TEN BASIC BONDAGE PRINCIPLES
1) NEVER let yourself be tied up if you don't feel absolutely safe.
2) NEVER let a stranger restrain you the first time you play.
3) NEVER tie up a body part so tight that it begins to tingle, feels cold, or "goes to sleep".
4) No bondage involving the front of the neck or pressure points, i.e., armpits, groin).
5) NEVER restrain or gag a person and leave them unattended.
6) Always have safety paramedic scissors nearby.
7) Watch out for rope burns, particularly with coarse rope.
8) Do not gag a person suffering with respiratory ailments .
9) When gagging a person, always have an audible, bodily signal in lieu of a safe word (i.e., stomp feet three times, tap fingers, etc.)
10) Do not blindfold a person wearing contacts.
TEN BASIC MUMMIFICATION PRINCIPLES
1) Always determine if the masochist has experienced mummification before; claustrophobic tendencies; longest period in bondage and/or hood; and if the masochist has ever experienced panic during a scene. If the masochist is a novice, consider covering the face last.
2) Always determine if the masochist has any medical conditions, particularly allergies, asthma, congestion, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. as well as any alcohol, drug or medication usage within 24 hours of the mummification. If the masochist wears contacts, they should be removed.
3) Be sure to have the following items nearby for the scene: safety scissors for emergency removal of the wrappings; electric fan and ice to keep the body cool; and towels to remove sweat.
4) Monitor the masochist’s body temperature and pulse. Take a baseline pulse before you begin. Use ice and a fan to cool the body if necessary.
5) NEVER leave the mummy unattended.
6) Use a towel or foam splints to place between the legs, arms and torso, or wherever two body parts come into contact.
7) Do not wrap any body part so tightly that it begins to tingle, feels cold or "goes to sleep". Check the fingers for signs of blueness.
8) When wrapping the chest, be sure the mummy expands the chest cavity, so the wrappings do not constrict breathing. When wrapping the neck, apply the pieces vertically (up and down) to avoid strangulation.
9) Provide cool water (with a straw) often to prevent dehydration.
10) Provide appropriate aftercare for the masochist. If overheated, apply ice.
TEN BASIC PADDLING PRINCIPLES
1) BDSM play should be safe, sane and consensual.
2) Know your paddler or spanker and inquire as to his or her experience.
3) Always use safewords, i.e., 911 or red (STOP), yellow (slow down) and/or safe gestures (tap foot three times).
4) Be careful with the force of your stroke. Paddles cause a sharper, more intense pain than a spanking hand.
5) Sharp edges or rough areas on the paddle may break the skin.
6) The narrower the paddle, the less noise it will make and the more likely it is to leave marks.
7) Begin the paddling with a spanking session first to warm up and prepare the bottom for the paddle.
8) Direct the paddle to strike the lower half of the buttocks.
9) The best position when using a heavy paddle is for the bottom to be prone or standing upright with hands braced against the wall and legs spread about shoulder width.
10) When spanking, remove your rings first - they leave marks.
TEN BASIC TEMPORARY PIERCING PRINCIPLES
1) Do not attempt to temporarily pierce a person without proper training and education.
2) The piercer(s) should always wear latex or vinyl exam gloves and change them frequently. Always wear new gloves for each person pierced in a group scene to avoid cross-infection.
3) Use antibacterial soap to prepare the skin before play, and use antiseptics immediately before and after piercing.
4) Always use brand new sterile needles, usually 18-25 gauge, one inch or longer is recommended.
5) All the bio-hazardous waste (needles, gloves, swabs or alcohol preps) should be disposed of in a biohazard container.
6) Prep the area to be pierced with alcohol or (clear) betadine.
7) The needle should travel just underneath the surface (the subcutaneous layers) of ordinary skin, to emerge through the skin a short distance from where it was inserted.
8) Don't pierce wrists, hands, internal organs, bones, eyes or the spine. Avoid the armpit, sternum and areas with many veins.
9) Check-in with the masochist often. Is she/he faint, going pale or shaking? These are common reactions to the flood of hormones and neurotransmitters circulating throughout the body. Have water, a first aid kit and blankets nearby.
10) Aspirin and alcohol enhances bleeding and should be avoided if blood flow is not desired.
