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No I can't let a tear shed. Eyes being rubbed so they stay red. Not ganja, dreams being smoked up. Trying not to fucking care, throwing my fucking hands up. Giving up is easy but it's what that needs be. Get through these feelings, that which weakens me. Another person to replace you can't come fast enough. No one to take my mind away, I admit i'm struggling bruh. This is all on me, no mystery. Tryna find my spot in the middle of where the bitches be. Better yet in between thick thighs where the loving be. Should've keep it friendly, for our fucking history. Damn. Turn the page forward, can't look back. My light on dim, may the fucking world go black. Because it's like that when your heart's under attack by your words, by thoughts, by the way you fail to act. Now regret hovers over me. Unlike a halo these grey clouds is where they suppose to be. Hiding my sunshine. No warmth. Dark mind. Cold feelings. Lonely blues highlighting the skyline. I feel abused. I'm standing nude. Looking in the mirror at my rapist, i'm hating you. Why you can't enjoy what the others do? Why you can't be somewhat normal like the others to? Tortured views began from the scared youth that never wanted trouble so he did what he was told to. Never crossed mother, her wishes, or her fucking rules. So always lead honors before I stepped in a fucking school. Just spilling my heart not trying to be rude. This is me, get use to it and keep you attitude. I understand you gonna hate what's being said but it's thoughts of my soul, go ahead wish me dead. I've tried many times to achieve that. Never was successful, a failure and living fact. Of what's pathetic like old women with a million cats. Or 40 year old men in basements screaming mom where's my fucking food at. Don't dare blame my father for the way I am. He visit a few times his fucking son is just a fail at man. Some of my friends read this saying oh hell no not again. Running in last place like i still got a chance to win. Games been over. Life on play. Still its like controllers i'm holding in every fucking way like I actually in control of how I want my life to stay, plus heading in the direction that leads to better days. No. My fate in another hands. Reasons i'm rock bottom with my nothingness. No matter what I say im not doing enough, it fucking sucks because its more than myself that's living off my actions. They hope it's them for which my passion exist, maybe then they'll feel that bliss. Instead of feeling so pissed. Instead of not feeling so missed. Like they just a side thing instead of head bitch. Forgive that word I meant the most important chick. That woman of my dreams, my all and everything that exist. Even if no ice on the wrist, and nothing by me given glitz. All I ever wanted was to be part of your wish. Now that wish is nothing more than disappointment again from a gender with a dick, what a dick. Feel sick. Puke it up. Slit wrist. Bleed out. Scream out. Gotta be fucking better than this. I know i'm fucking hard of myself but i'm the only person who ever had an eye for myself. No head shaking if i'm all about the wealth. Money, pussy and my fucking self. Loving world. Money, pussy and nothing else. Fucking world. Money, pussy and drugs help. Forgetful world. Money, pussy and nothing's left. End world.
