It might not be realistic, but it would be nice. — Monday, July 16, 2007
screaming at the world to distract myself from other pain.
Wouldn't it be cool if I could have an enabler? Or just someone who helped me out alot. ( yah, alot is really not a word. If used, it's supposed to be two words. a lot. but fuck that. )
Someone with their life more together than me. Someone who allready has it "going on". Someone with a good job that would buy me stuff. Someone who would love to come home and help me with my homework. Someone to help motivate me to get up in the morning and do something productive. Ok, so maybe it sounds like I want a mom. lol. That's not what I mean though. I'm not asking for someone to clean up after me, drive me around, cook for me, or anything like that. They just need to be interested in me making my life better and helping me out with it. It's not something that would need to occupy their whole lives, or even their whole lives other than work. Little things here and there. Just a llittle boost. Maybe a little boost, and alot of sex as a reward for dong good. Instead of a gold star sticker. lol. If I had someone other than the voices in my head telling me what to do, it might work out better. It makes life easier when someone just tells me what to do and helps me with it. That way I don't have to think for myself. I'm sick of thinking, it seems like I do it way too much. It would be so nice not to have to fucking think.
I think I could marry somewhat of a controlling bitch, just as long as she was really pretty, and controlled me in a good way. A way I liked, and was good for me.
I'm 25. Other people that old allready went through college and have good jobs, right? So I just need to meet one of those people. Meet them and somehow have them interested in me. Why would they be interested in me?
I'm nice, I'm funny, or funny looking, or something like that. I make people laugh somehow. I'm sweet, I seem to be going somewhere in life, I think I'm fairly smart. I think I'm fairly mature for a guy.
So if you know anyone like that, send them my way. LOL. Yah, i know, keep dreaming.
