Things are good, mostly.
School is going by. Hopefully by this time next year I will have graduated. I like learning stuff, but I'm getting " burnt out ". School is about more than learning stuff. The part I get annoyed with is proving that I have learned stuff. lol.
I'm getting old. I'll be 27 in January. I worry that I will end up a " weird old man " all alone. I think about what I want in a girlfriend. Someone who is independant, smart, beatiful, and love me the way I am. That would be Mellissa. :(
Most of th day I can get by without thinkig about her. I can't get through most days though. I try to intelectualized, or rationialize. I've liked many people, and there's more than one person in the world I can love, and fall inlove with. Maybe there is someone as good as her out there for me. Probably is? I don't know.
I don't get out much. I haven't even hungout with ny family much lately.
My sleeps been messed up recently. I have lots of nightmares. I woke up screaming thismorning. I dont even remember what is was about. The night before that, I couldn't wake up from my dreams. I was actually worried I was in a coma. I kept waking up in my dream, but not really waking up, over and over and over. It was aweful. I hear stuff and see stuff after I wake up. and sometimes hear stuff before I fall asleep if I don't take my sleeping pill. It's hard to find a happy thought before sleep anymore.It uste to be melissa. It can work sometimes before falling asleep, but then I have dreams about her and wake up depressed. Why can't I just fall into a coma with those dreams?
