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What are you waiting for?
Things are so crazy right now. I feel so indifferent and out of place with everything. I'm not happy with anything in my life. Like that's anything new. I just got out of a 2 year relationship a few months ago and surprisingly I'm not broken up about it at all. It was emotionally and psychologically abusive and I didn't need that bullshit. I'm already back in another relationship with a good friend of mine I've known for like 8 years. We've had feelings for each other for so long but the timing was never right at all. Towards the end of my previous relationship I just thought,"You know what? Fuck all of this. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy. He's the one I want." So I went for it and things have been amazing. He's a good man. He treats me the way I want and deserve to be treated. I can see myself marrying this man and having his children. He's the only thing I have to look forward to each day. He's my stronghold when everything else is falling apart around me. I can depend on him to actually be there which is not much to be said about the rest of the pathetic men I've dated. What I'm not happy about right now is the fact that he's up in Michigan while I'm stuck here in Iowa. He's good at saying one thing and doing another. I finally snapped on him last night and went off. I've been so frustrated with the lack of communication. I text him and bitched him out and he finally called me. I hope he moves down here soon. I'm tired of the loneliness and the waiting up half the night by the phone bullshit. I can't do it. It's either now or never.
