I don't understand why men have to make things so difficult. If you tell someone you love them that means that you want to be with them. Not make empty promises to do so. I'm so done with empty promises. I'm tired of waiting on men to make up their minds. Either be with me or don't. I'm tired of waiting around. That's all I've ever done is wait on men. I love him I really do but I'm not going to be with someone who can't even be here. I'm not wasting my time. And plus I met someone last night. There's something about this guy that just took my breath away. I don't know what it is. We got to talking and getting to know each other and I started telling him some things about me that not a lot of people know. A lot of painful things. What shocked me was that he didn't judge me. I'm not gonna lie, I have a lot of baggage. I haven't had the greatest life. My childhood was terrible, my teenage years were terrible, and my adult years have been terrible. Life just all around fucking sucks right now. Anyway all he did was show me compassion. I couldn't believe it. I never thought a man was actually capable of that to be honest. Not the men I've dated anyway and trust me I've dated plenty. I'm entitled to some guy bashing. I have dreams of my own. I want to be settled down and married in the next couple of years and I'm terrified it's not going to happen. I really think Andy is the one but lately I'm not so sure. I shouldn't have to wait around for a man. I won't do it. I can't. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep all the time. I just want to feel someone next to me. Things are so hard for me right now and I need that companionship. I'm tired of having to do everything alone. I've never had anyone there to support me in anything I do. I need someone. I want to feel wanted. I know I can't keep doing all of this completely alone.