DiStOrTeDrEaLiTy's blog: "Life"

I'm conflicted. I don't know what to do about Andy. I'm just sick of never talking to him. "Oh I'm off work tomorrow. Call me when you get up." "Oh I'm off work. I'll call you when I get home." Yeah ok. Whatever. It never happens. I call and he doesn't answer. His voicemail talks to me more than he does. And I'm your top priority? That's debateable. I didn't see him for Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Year's Eve. He's coming down next week for my birthday. We'll see what happens. This is the part where I'm conflicted. I got to spend the end of the night with my elementary school crush on New Year's Eve. Him and I both have feelings for each other and we hooked up that night. He's with the mother of his children and is afraid to leave her in fear of her keeping the kids from him. He told me he misses me and he thinks about me all the time but he doesn't want to hurt me because of her. Well dude if you're not happy then do something about it. I'd give anything to have him for myself. And the sex with him Friday night was breathtakingly amazing. Just the raw passion in the way he kissed me and touched me. I've never had that before in my life. I want a hell of a lot more of that. At this point I'd take what I can get from him. I don't want him out of my life completely. If we have to do the whole friends with benefits then so be it. I'd rather have that than nothing at all. But I don't know what to do about Andy. Should I wait to see what happens next week? Or should I just say fuck it altogether? Hmmmmmm.....