WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
> > "You can have mine."
> >
> > When a woman steals your husband,
> > there is no better revenge than to let her
> >keep him.
> >
> > A woman is incomplete until she is married.
> >Then she is finished .
> >
> > A little boy asked his father,
> > "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
> >married?"
> > Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
> >paying."
> >
> > A young son asked,
> > "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
> > a man doesn't know his wife until he
> >marries her?"
> > Dad replied, "That happens in every country,
> >son."
> >
> > Then there was a woman who said,
> > "I never knew what real happiness was until
> > I got married,
> > and by then, it was too late."
> >
> > Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
> >intelligence.
> >
> > If you want your spouse to listen and
> > pay strict attention to every word you say
> > -- talk
> > in your sleep.
> >
> > Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
> >would go
> > through life
> > thinking they had no faults at all.
> >
> > First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
> > Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's
> >still alive."
> >
> >
> > " A Woman's Prayer:
> > Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand
> > a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience,
> > for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray
> > for Strength I'll just beat him to death "
> >
> >
> > AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE! !!
> >
> > Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop
> >with their nine children. A
> > blind man joins them after a few minutes.
> >When the bus arrives, they
> > find it overloaded and only the wife and the
> >nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
> >
> > So the husband and the blind man decide to
> > walk. After a while, the
> >husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick
> >of the blind man as
> > he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
> >"Why don't you put a piece
> >of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking
> >sound is driving me crazy."
> >
> > The blind man replies, "If you would've put a
> >rubber at the end of YOUR
> > stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.
