I have work this situation is my mind for some time now. My heart tells me to stay and try to have a stable life for my teen daughters. They have been gone for 5 years.
Many have said this is growing pains. That things will work it way out. I thought about that to, maybe we have to get to know each other all over again.
However, at what cost? Do I stay with someone that I wish would be more than a caregiver. When we was first a family, it was hard, when they was away and they came home on weekend, it was harder.
I know I'm confusing many out there. and I'm sorry for that, I'm confused too. I do love this man, but I don't want to be here anymore. I know in my heart I don't want to get married anymore. I'm 38 years old, I don't want to still be living with a man I know I can't marry.
9 years is a long time, my last realationship last 7 years before I married him. I was "GunShy".
I didn't want to get beat again, and the whole time we was together he beat me...Dumn Bi..h.
I'm leaving. I'm not happy anymore. And the guy who said a "Blow Job" is all it take, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that what I love to do, and when I get tried of doing that to a man I wanted to end up with, Its time to go.
This is a great man I'm leaving. I don't have to want for anything, expect... a little attention. Sex is Outstanding. But the attention is not there. The pics I display are me. I look like this everyday, expect for the hat...I do have face pic, but...I'm shy...Sort of...
I work, I cook, I clean. I am a simissive woman...I do what I am told within reason. I'm a freakly lady at night and a woman and mon during the day. I'm lonely.
Well, I guess thats all for now, I just needed to write what was on my mind right now. I have working on this plan for several months now...Its time to finally end this, I'm tried. I don't want to be in a realationship anymore. I want to be single when I turn 40.
Until I write again...
