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Living Without Love

Yesterday I was online talking to a friend I just made, when all hell broke lose. It all started at 6:30 am, when the mister came into the house yelling about the same shit. I got up, did what need to be done and start chatting with this friend, about 10:45 am I walked to the store to call my sister. Its about a 10 min walk, by the time I return home at 11:15am, the mister had grab my 16 year old daughter around her neck and push her against the wall. I wasn't there, and I'm kicking myself for it now, I knew in my heart that that was going to happen, but the other part said this man is no fool. Fooled me....My daughter told me what happen and I confroned him, of course he make it seem like it was my child fault, he mad that her room wasn't clean. Now by this point my eyes have turn red, He lock my girls bathroom door so they could use his, took down my 16 year old daug. bedroom door, than he yells that he don't give a damn if my daughter walk around him nude. he seen ass before, my 18 year old daughter went outside in the backyard to use the bathroom. Feak me out, flash back.....I was manlested by my father as child, and when this 44 year old man said the shit that came out his mouth, I knew it was time to run....Now....I have two daughters, 18, and 16, what the fuck is wrong with this man. I sent my children off to work so I could deal with this man, my first thought was to fuck his shit up, he's a DJ, part-time, but I knew that would be so childish, so what I was trying to do was just leave, than it happen, he tried to call me out about some key, threating to kick my ass....I wanted him to hit me, I want for once to stand up for myself, and if that means going to jail, damn it I was going last night. But that didn't happen, I found his stupid keys, but wait, it didn't stop there, he asked me what I was going to do with my 16 year old daughters clothes. Now mind you, I lost my job because of him, I have no money, I don't have a car, I didn't have a place to stay. But I would be damn if I stayed in this bitch house one more night. When he said that my daughter couldn't come back to his house, and start putting all her, only my 16 year, clothes in the outside bin with magget water, my blood hit a new low,, I did he following "911, your needed at this address, I'm going to kill a motherfucker..." the 911 operator kept asking me whats the problem, I just kept saying "911...your needed at this addresss, I'm going to kill a motherfucker" and hung up, but the time I walk back his front door, 4 officers (car) was grabbing me and putting me in the back of one of the cars, the thing is, all the sheiff that came to the house were my friends and they knew how our realationship was, and they knew I wasn't joking. And I wasn't, I had enough of this no fucking SOB. He hit my child and now he must die. I will not kill this man I'm leaving it in the hand of the Law. I'm going to make sure this sorry son of bitch pay for all this pain that has come to my children and me. So far, my girls have raise enough money for us to stay in this motel until wed of this week. 55 dollars a night is ok. Tomorrow I have to call the social worker to inform her about this situration and pray I don't want lose my children over this, especially since I don't have a job. I'm fucked, but I will try to work my magic. I love my children and I will satify everything for them. The motel is next to my children job, and this motel is hirig, so I will be looking at that tomorrow. I have to make sure my children get to school tomorrow, and home again. But I know God Will Make a Way. Well, I don't know what eles to say....This is ture, no joke, can't joke about like, I guess I'm no longer horny, my family come before anything.... Well, Until....
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16 years ago
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