YOU CAN LIVE IN PHOENIX , AZ WHERE…..
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade
You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl
You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town
You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door
The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!
YOU CAN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA WHERE…..
You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house
The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway
You know how to eat an artichoke
You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party
When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is
The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
YOU CAN LIVE IN NEW YORK WHERE…..
You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
You can get into a four hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map
You think Central Park is “nature”
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual
You’ve worn out a car horn
You think eye contact is an act of aggression
YOU CAN LIVE IN MAINE WHERE…..
You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
Halloween costumes fit over parkas
You have more than one recipe for moose
Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons
The 4 seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction
YOU CAN LIVE IN THE GEORGIA WHERE….
You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store
“Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural
“He needed killin’” is a valid defense
Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
YOU CAN LIVE IN COLORADO WHERE…..
You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car
You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center
A pass does not involve a football or dating
The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail
YOU CAN LIVE IN THE MIDWEST WHERE….
You’ve never met any celebrities, but the Mayor knows your name
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor
You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day
You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say “It was different!”
OR YOU CAN LIVE IN FLORIDA WHERE…..
You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon
All purchases include a coupon of some kind – even houses and cars
Everyone can recommend a good dermatologist
Road construction never ends anywhere in the state
Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people
