Car's blog: "Quizzes and other fun stuff"

Once you have opened this, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist. Read your sign, then pass it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line, This is the real deal, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there. VIRGO - The One that Waits Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward. SCORPIO - The Addict EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Energetic. Predicts future. GREAT kisser. Always gets what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward. LIBRA - The BEST One Nice to everyone they meet, Unless they get bad vibes from the person they're meeting. Their Love is one of a kind, but if done wrong, they cut you off like it's nothing. Silly, fun and sweet. Have their own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However not the kind of person you wanna mess with . You might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. ARIES - The Liar Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. ......... 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward. AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. .........2 years of bad luck if you do not forward. GEMINI - Irresistible Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where department.. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. LEO - The Lion Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward. CANCER - The Cutie MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freaky. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward. PISCES - The Partner for Life Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward. CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predicts future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward. TAURUS - The Tramp Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward. SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone he or she meets. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know what department!!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

71 QUESTIONS I GUARANTEE YOU'VE NEVER ANSWERED! 1. would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My God daughter? you bet 2. What song describes your relationship status? Sleepin' Single in a double bed 3. How much does your dog weigh? 10-15 lbs maybe 4. Are you a heart breaker, or the heart broken? the heartbroken 5. Ever waxed your legs? no...thank you very much 6. Earrings or necklaces? Neither. 7. Who have you talked to most today? My mom..like 3 times I think 9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to you? That would be you David, lol 10.color of your shirt? Yello 11. How many years have you taken a language? ummmmm 12. Who's on speed dial 2? my mommy... 13. What color is your background on your computer mainly? its a sexy picture of soscandalous tomcat, so it red and black 14. Do you wish on 11:11? hmmmm ok who thought that one up...I mean come on what the sunificace of 11:11??? some guy wake up one day and say hey its 11:11 I wish I could have something to eat I'm hungry...and then his girlfriend or mommy comes in with some pancakes and he thought HOLY CRAP!!! It came true I"m gunna spread the word that 11:11 is a magical number on the clock that grants you a wish!!!! COME ON!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!! 15. Good advice if you ever go camping? take your own toilet paper. 16. Are you a bad influence? according to my ex's wives, yes, lol 17. What color are your eyes? purtiest blue ya ever did see, thank ya very much! 18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name? I have part of my dads name, thats good enough for me =P 19. Would you do anything for someone? does someone include me??!!!! why must it alwasy be about somoene else....why can't it be about me every once and awhile!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!! oh haha sorry...=P 20. Have you ever been called a whore? I have 2 ex husbands...you dont think that maybe once...just once..I might have been called that? HA I wish it was just once =P LMAO!!! 21. favorite color? poiple or one more commonly known as purple, lol 22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? there isnt one single smiley face ON my computer. keystrokes that MAKE them? now THAT's a different story 23. What song is on? nada..no music tonight..oh wait the ceiling fan is making noise. Does that count? 24. Are your grades good? Havent even started this semesters classes yet..cool your jets on the grades thing already. 25. Do you have any friends with benefits? WITH benefits...ha barely have any WITHOUT benefits what are you taking about?? 26. Would you date anyone on your top friends? There are indeed, but I am not one to ask first. I hate being told 'no'. 27. Does your best friend have a myspace account? why yes 28. Who's page did you last visit? My 'son' Joey's page 29. Last time you went out to lunch? ummm today 30. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? I have enough drama thank you 31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson? not intentionally. 32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.? This is one reason I do not own a TV, lol 33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s? no, I have the good sense God gave a goose instead. 34. Which radio stations are your favorites? 105.5 and 89.9 35. Are you a Lost fanatic? Lost yes......fanatic...depends on the situation...=P 36. still have pictures of your ex's? I use them for target practice. 37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? *gag*hack*choke*spit*bleed from my eyeballs* NO 38. Alannis Morsette? ummmmm..... 39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly? No TV...do the math 40. King of the Hill? Hello? hello? is this thing on? 41. Do you read trashy romance novels often? My imagination is soooo much better..come see for yourself ;-) 42. Do you ever forget to give a Christmas/birthday present? To my daughter? no. To my ex's wife's kids..well maybe just once (a year for all the years Ive known the little ....) ummm sorry.. 43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? there is no obnoxious about it I sound like a rockstar IN MY CAR!!!!!!! 44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home? AGAIN READ THE ABOVE QUESTION.....add in the shower to that!!!! 45. Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12? who says I'm over 12???? [[The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary]] 46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they werent? Why else would my room mate have his ear to my door at 2am??? 47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school? yes but the teacher took 'em :-( 48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didnt ask her/him out because you were afraid? ummmmmm if I said no would you call me a lier...=P 49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life? TRICK question....allow me to explain....you could never write a story about your life becuase your life is not over yet...so therefore your story would never be complete therefore you couldn't call it story because a story has a beginning and an end...and if you wrote it about your life it would not end because you would be dead and could not write how it ended becuase you were dead before you could write that.....=P if that did not thoroughly confuse you then you are smarter than I thought!!!! HA!!! 50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your crush? ok would that be on the verge of obession...??!!! kinda scary.....!!! 51. Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? yes...and I have DISLIKED some for that very same reason. who hasnt???? [[The Questions You Love:Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones]] 52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? I'm not even gunna waste the brain cells to answer that question.... 53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? ummmmm..... 54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa? only in my dreams!!!!! 55. Do you know how to knit? no, but then I'm not 90 either..I think there is an age requiremnt to that skill, isnt there? 56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover? not that spoiled, sorry. 57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile? The songs I would write, no one would want to hear. 58. Do you keep a journal or diary? yep sure do.How else do you expect me to keep all my drama straight?? NOT! 59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color? ummmmm why can't we all just get along why must there be dominance in the world....can't it be equal....we are all equal in the eyes of me!!!!!!!! =P hahahaa [[Truly Unusual This or That Questions]] 60. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? DAIRY QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!!! 61. Physics or chemistry? Best of both worlds...my sister's fridge!!!!!!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!! 62. Earphones or headphones? NOSE PLUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 63. pink or teal? what the heck...mix em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 64. Earrings or a ring? dont wear earrings so I guess that makes this one a no brainer 65. Commitment or casual dating? casual? heck ANY dating would be preferred, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 66. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or Star Wars? Star Wars DUH!! 67. Fly or road trip? Gimmee the keys, I'll drive 68. Starbucks? SURE...got chocolate?? [[Another Wave of Random Questions]] 69. What is your favorite Disney movie? Escape from Witch Mountain 70. Have you ever bought clothing at Sears? SORRY I DON'T SHOP AT KMART!!! 71. What's the last thing you drank? ummm it was wet...it quenched my thirst...and it tasted like.....ummm...what was that?? 72. What is going on in your head?? I gotta pee..is this thing done yet??

You probably already know this, but in case you did not, I took the liberty of looking up the 2007 opponents for the Oakland Raiders, they are as follows: PRESEASON 8/11 vs. Arizona Cardinal-Sins 8/18 @ San Francisco Forty-Whiners 8/24 vs. St. Louis Lambs 8/30 @ Seattle Seahags REGULAR SEASON 9/9 vs. Detroit Kittens 9/16 @ Denver Druncos (Note: this game will be played in Fiasco Field @ Piled High) 9/23 vs. Cleveland Clowns 9/30 @ Miami Dolphins (Steph's team, sorry) 10/7 BYE WEEK 10/14 @ San Diego Discharged 10/21 vs. Kansas City Hankerchiefs 10/28 @ Tennesse Tit-ends 11/4 vs. Houston Texi-cants 11/11 vs. Chicago Bared 11/18 @ Minnesota Dikes 11/25 @ Kansas City Hankerchiefs (This game to played in Narrow Head Stadium) 12/2 vs. den-veer Druncos 12/9 @ Green Bay Slackers 12/16 vs. Indianapolis Dolts 12/23 @ Jacksonville Jag-wads 12/30 vs. San Diego Discharged ENJOY THE GAME...EVEN IF YOUR TEAM DOES LOSE

HOME REMEDIES THAT WORK, well, maybe..... 1) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling hot water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3) You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink. 4) For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5) A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7) Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache. 8) Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules in life are: -In life, you only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape -If it doesn't move, but should, use the WD-40. -If it should not move, but does, use the duct tape. 9) Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10) Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING.... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

YOU CAN LIVE IN PHOENIX , AZ WHERE….. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! YOU CAN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA WHERE….. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway You know how to eat an artichoke You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought YOU CAN LIVE IN NEW YORK WHERE….. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan You can get into a four hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map You think Central Park is “nature” You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual You’ve worn out a car horn You think eye contact is an act of aggression YOU CAN LIVE IN MAINE WHERE….. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco Halloween costumes fit over parkas You have more than one recipe for moose Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons The 4 seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction YOU CAN LIVE IN THE GEORGIA WHERE…. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural “He needed killin’” is a valid defense Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. YOU CAN LIVE IN COLORADO WHERE….. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center A pass does not involve a football or dating The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail YOU CAN LIVE IN THE MIDWEST WHERE…. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the Mayor knows your name Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?” When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say “It was different!” OR YOU CAN LIVE IN FLORIDA WHERE….. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon All purchases include a coupon of some kind – even houses and cars Everyone can recommend a good dermatologist Road construction never ends anywhere in the state Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people

WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything) ~~is proud to announce the opening of its~~ ~EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN! ALL ARE WELCOME~ Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accepta maximum of eight participants The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include: DAY ONE: HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics) DISHES - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts REMOTE CONTROL Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum DAY TWO: EMPTY MILK CARTONS- DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? Group discussion and role play HEALTH WATCH- BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation DIRECTIONS- REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation LIVING WITH ADULTS- BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class GETTING OVER IT- LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

1. You can correctly pronounce words like Tesuque, Cerrillos, Acoma, Buena, Ocotillo, and Pojoaque, and Isleta (and you actually know what or where they are!). 2. You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for international shipping. 3. You expect to pay more if your house is made of Adobe. 4. You can order your Big Mac with green chile. 5. You buy salsa by the half-gallon. 6. Dunno where #6 went? 7. Your Christmas decorations include "red Chiles, a half-ton of sand and 200 paper bags." 8. Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los." 10. You price shop for tortillas. 11. You have an extra freezer just for green Chile. 12. You consider Billy the Kid a state hero. 13. You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn. 14. You ran for state legislature just so you could speed legally. 15. You pass on the right because that is the fast-lane. 16. You think Sonic is "America's Favorite Drive-in." 17. Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a Dust Devil. 18. You have been or know someone who has been abducted by aliens. 19. You can actually hear the Taos hum. 20. All your out-of-state friends and relatives ask if they can drink the water when they come to visit. 21. When someone says "Las Vegas" you think of a small New Mexico town in the northeastern part of the state. 22. You iron your jeans to "dress up." 23. You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales. 24. Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck. 25. Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature, the other in the state penitentiary. 26. You know what it means when a waitress asks you whether you want "red or green." 27. You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer potholes. 28. You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English. 29. You've seen the bat flight at Carlsbad Caverns and have a t-shirt that says "Bats need friends, too!" 30. You know you are special because you're from the Land of Enchantment!

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love