Slingerland's blog: "Fubar stuff"

So, this is my first blog. Ive never done this before because I dont feel the need to broadcast my personal shit all over the world. BUT, I feel I need to bring up a subject that confuses me to no end.

Dating!

Ive been single for over 5 years now. Was married 10, divorced, no kids. I don't smoke or drink, am in decent shape and take a shower every day and I have all my teeth. Everyone tells me I am a great person and cant figure out why I haven't found someone.

SO! This leads me to ask...What are you ladies looking for?????

Here are some things I have heard:

I want a man who is strong and mature emotionally.

I'm looking for a man that has a job and likes kids.

Im looking for a man that has goals in his life and is secure in himself.

I want a man that will treat me like a lady.

I'm looking for a guy that has a great sense of humor.

Looking for a guy that will place me on a pedestal.

Etc, etc, etc.

Lets take a look at this shall we.

First, I want a man who is strong and mature emotionally. So your not looking for a 21 year old guy who still has oats to sow. Got it! But there are some 40 year olds that have never grown up either! On one hand you want someone who is mature, but on the other you want someone who will act like a kid sometimes. Hmmm. You want that Harley riding bad ass who has an executive job but still heads to the biker bars on the weekends.

I'm looking for a man that has a job and likes kids. OK, most of us have jobs. I find having a job very important when it comes time to pay my bills. IF you date someone that doesn't have a job or a car, well, shame on you. When I read this in a profile all I can think is that you don't do allot of homework about someone before you go on a date with them. As for kids. I'm at an age in my life where just about all the single women my age have children. If I didn't like kids, I wouldn't have responded to your profile. Thank you for letting me know you have them. What if I hate kids but I still respond? I guess if I have a Harley and a good job you will overlook the kids part.

I'm looking for a guy that has a great sense of humor. This is a good one! Everyone has a sense of humor. But does your match the other persons? What do you want, a stand up comedian, a practical joker, an immature 35 year old that acts like he is 16? But wait! You stated before that you want someone mature. How mature? Very confusing!

Looking for a guy that will place me on a pedestal. Well now. I think it is safe to say that most of us don't beat women and have tons of respect for them. If you truly like someone, you will admire them and show them respect. You want to be on a pedestal? Be a model! In today's world women are expected to carry their fair share of the load too in a relationship. I'm not saying that you need to do everything. But in a relationship you are a team. You need to share responsibilities and communicate. We should both be on the same level. If one is placed on a pedestal, then they are being worshipped. Unless the other person is being worshipped too, this is a very bad thing! I once told someone I was dating as we where breaking up "You are not the queen, who put you in charge? It doesn't always have to be your way. You don't dictate to your partner!". That relationship did NOT go well! LOL!

Im looking for a guy that likes to snuggle, but isnt too clingy. What???? What the hell does that mean?

No players! Really? Once again, if you cant filter people out, well..... Some simple questions would let you know if he was a player. Do some investigating. Just because his profile pic shows him in leather with tattoos does not mean he is the bad boy of your dreams. And while I'm on that subject. You want the bad boy. So you go out with him and he treats you like shit. No respect for you at all. Smokes, drinks, never spends time with you. Well DUH! Hes a bad boy for a reason ladies!

What I find is women go out with these idiots who embaress the male population and we all get lumped in together. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME!!!! There are some decent men left in this world! There are some of us who do not want to get in your pants as soon as we meet. Who will open a door for you. Will either order for you or let you go first. Will let you have the window seat on the plane.

I notice on the Internet dating sites I belong to that its the same women over and over again. Some have been on for years! And they are still active! What are you looking for? How can you tell if you have met the right person over a profile pic and a short blurb about who they say the are? Every date you go on is blind. You have never seen this person in real life. Some people (me especially) are not good at inflecting what they really feel or want to say in a email or chat. You cant get a sense of someones personality over the Internet. Sure, Ill tell you that I'm a nice guy, you might even sense it in the emails I send. But you will never know how amazing I am until you meet me.

So, after all this ranting what am I looking for?

Someone who is attractive to me. I have found that age is just a number. You youngins will understand that as you get older! LOL!

Someone who gets me and I get them.

Someone who is my best friend and I can talk to them about anything and they don't judge me.

Someone who shares in the relationship. The glass is half full, not full on your side or mine!

Someone who understands I'm a guy. We do dumb guy things like forget stuff. Don't judge me based on that. Venus and Mars ladies! HA HA!

Someone who tells me what they want and doesn't feel I should just know! Please see above!

If you have kids I understand they are a priority, but so am I. And yes, I like kids or I wouldn't have started talking to you in the first place!

Non smoker! Big time turn off for me!

Someone who takes care of themselves. Look, I know we all have the sweat pant, t shirt days. No big deal. But not every day! Sheesh!

No slobs please! I know how some of you ladies live......lol!

That's some of what Im looking for. You have to agree that you can usually get a feel for someone the first 5 minutes you meet them. Id like to meet someone that meshes with me when I meet them.

That's enough for now. Holy Jesus, I almost wrote a book!

Dame blogs anyway!