Slingerland's blog: "Fubar stuff"

Hi everyone! As Ive stated before, Im not really a blogger. But, I have been told that I write good ones and they are funny. So, I guess when the mood strikes me I will try and write a couple.

Todays topic is Fu pictures. These are the photos that we post on our pages to let people know what we look like (in case you where wondering).

Now, we all know how easy it is to go to Photobucket and copy some really hot girls photos and say thery are you. We have ALL seen it done (by guys and girls). If not, go to JohhnyDevils blogs and you will see. He usually catches them and posts them for all to see (yes, that was a shamelss promote for JohnnyDevil).

Let me give you fakes a hint. One pic does NOT make a profile and is a dead giveaway that you are fake. If you are THAT hot for real, you probably have TONS of photos that you could also post....just sayin! Attractive people usually have LOTS of photos for some reason and you only post 1? Hmmm. And dont give me that camera shy crap! Your not too shy to get on Fubar j/f/s!

Lets go to the other end of the spectrum shall we. Here we have 298 pictures of you from the waist up. You have no lower body? Its disfigured? Sitting in front of your laptop using the built in camera and taking 2000 pics of you making duck faces may be fun for you...but cmon! Id like to know your not just a head and torso! Wait...you only like yourself from the waist up? I saw a profile on here where the girl took a pic of herself from the waist up and then STOOD on her bathroom counter top in front of the mirror to show the rest of her. It was the only mirror in her place. KUDOS to her! That was very creative! And NO, they werent NSFW (get your minds out of the gutter peeps!). 

Now lets move on to the "camera over your head photos". We are not stupid! If your a little overweight or have a "pouch"...it happens....holding the camera over your head to take the pic DOES NOT WORK and I shall tell you why. Any person that is familiar with the human body can still see your neck, arms and hands. Guys are visually stimulated (duh!) so we pay attention to these things. So, unless you have a skinny neck arms and hands but a huge lower body...we notice! Also, if all your pics are the same (over the head), its a dead giveaway. It also shows that your hiding something or have low self esteem. What? Stretch marks? So you had kids and they left their marks on you forever. So what! Many women on here have no problem showing their bellies with stretch marks. At least they are being honest! I respect that! Not everybody is the skinny mini model type. Personnaly Id like to see the REAL you in your pics. Just about ALL cameras now have the auto timer feature. Set that thing and run out in front of it and lets see YOU! If you dont like it (because we are in the digital age) you just delete it and take another! I made salutes for my family by myself and it took me HOURS! LOL! I bet I took 500 photos just to get 30! 

Now we shall discuss the lack of a tripod pictures. If every photo on your profile is you holding the camera out in front of you...well...CMON peeps! Lets be a little creative here! How putting that thing on a counter top, pile of books, couch, table, bed or getting a real life person to take your pic? This pose reverts back to the "I have no lower body" paragraph and also touches on the "over the head" photo. Lets be honest....you are on here to flaunt yourself and get some attention. 4 pages of you holding the camera in front of you is just a LITTLE boring! 

On to "blurry" pics. Does this even need to be talked about? If the damn picture is blurry....dont post it! Are you hiding something? Do you work for the CIA, NSA or any of the other top secret "A" organizations? If you do, you probably shouldnt be on Fu! LOL! Would you send that pic to someone in real life? So why would you post it here? DUH!

One last thing and then Im done...I think... 

If you are really cute, attractive, or hot (and yes, you know who you are its not like you just woke up one day that way) I can respect and understand you not doing a salute. But may I suggest you at least hold a piece of paper that says Fubar on it? There are too many fakes on here and it would help eleminate some of them and probably make your lives on here a little easier. Im not saying make a salute....just prove you are real somehow. 50 pics of your modeling shoot dont quite cut it....just sayin.

Im going to wrap this up. Im not trying to offend anyone and hopefully you got a good chuckle out of reading it. Everybody is different in size, shape and personality, thats what makes us...well....US! This is intended to be funny. If I pissed on your wheaties...well...maybe you will fix your photos! LOL!