the Best JennyCrackas Wifey's blog: "Venting"

Okay, you know what. I've fucking had it UP TO HERE with all of you. Your worried about damn contests and ratings and shyt, Don't you ever think for one fucking minute in your life that there are men and women out there fighting for us to have a free world. I bet you don't. Personally my father is in the Canadian army in Iraq and damn you know how hard it is to not think about him? do you know how damn hard it is not having someone you truely love not with you or have them with you on this special holiday? you guys need to grow the fuck up and learn a word. **RESPECT** no need to look it up in the dictionary, wanna know why? cuze you're are already here so i'll look it up for you. re·spect (r-spkt) tr.v. re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects 1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem. 2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit. 3. To relate or refer to; concern. n. 1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard. 2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem. 3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation. 4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects. 5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision. 6. Usage Problem Relation; reference. See Usage Note at regard. For Christmas I don't want your guilt nor do I want your pity for the only thing I ask for is to hear the Angels sing I want to hear the Angels singing in rejoice that day that a miracle has occured in the most wonderful way For all I want to hear is that my Father will be okay and that will be my greatest gift this coming Christmas day So to church I went tonight and lit a candle for him as my Christmas gift to my Father with a heart oh so true So I will keep hoping and praying as well too that on Christmas day a miracle will come true










Music Video CodesMyspace Music ORIGINALY DONE BY † the Best †Jenny*~~Cracka's Wifey~~*

Look into her eyes you'll see her tears The pain she's been feeling for so many years You'll know how she feels she's screaming inside You'll see all the secrets she's had to hide Look at her heart it's been broken in two She can never go back to the world she once knew Is left in pieces they lie on the floor She knows life won't be the same anymore Loot at her scars you make her bleed By cutting her life up she hopes to be free She knows that after it just makes it worse She's trapped in herself she can't stop this curse When things get bad she does it again And hopes for a time when her sadness will end Look at her life she didn't want this You look at her sitting there and watch her bleed She missed so many years she grew up to fast She can't ever forget she can't change the past Look at her memories none of them good She can't wipe them away she wishes she could Look at ther tears as the flow down her face Now she feels nothing just stares into space Her pain is taking over there's nothing she can do You can see her but she can't see you

In the words of Elizabeth Wurtzel, "Back, back, back. How fucking far back do you go?" Now that is the question. How far back do you go until you uncover the truth of your very being? How many layers of sugar-coated lies must you scrape off the surface until you discover, not only when, but how and what drove you to such a dark, angry, and maybe even insane standpoint in your life? Thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions pay shrinks to do it for them everyday. And when it's all done and over with, they stuff a piece of white paper with illegible hand-writing on it to deliver to the pharmacy. That prescription might as well be your own death certificate. Doctors call it medicine; medicine to turn that frown upside-down. I call them placebos. Yes, these drugs do work, in a sense. They make you calm, I guess. You can think straight and not want to go throw yourself in front of traffic, but, and yes, to every salvation, there is a catch, the drugs do not fix the problem. The drugs do not erase the memories, or fix the problems they caused. They only mask them. Kind of like a drug addict who took some detox before a drug test. The detox made him pass his piss test, but you can just look at the guy and know that he's a junkie. The drugs make us presentable for a society that does not want to deal with you and your problems. So, instead of helping us, the drugs help them. The public eye that's in denial.

Lying in bed fetal position. Comfy cosy topsy turvy world! Sit and cry while smiling Do your jaws ache? How can you be so plastic when you seem so porcelain? Smooth to touch soft! Inside what? Hidden by a baracade your eyelids seem to hide it all Your portals close up and let in no light No love anger hate! So stay dark Let your moon and stars hang Conceal your true beauty Mask it in glitter I care not Not what you do but what you become Un-do it Pull down the zip Shed the mask Your face has started to sweat And your presence has become uneasy Go take a shower Wash it all away Your smell of fear scares me

Self expression is about who you are, and how you express yourself. It doesn’t matter what fricken clothing you wear, how you look, or who you talk to. It's your words or works, and choice of actions that shows who you are as a person. Some people express themselves by music, poetry, and other verbal/written ways. Its the words; not the sounds of the music, or the shape of the art work. But, the words they use to express expirences, emotion, or just something on their mind. But things cost money; money makes the world go round...money=possesions=competition. Life consists of being the best looking, acting, and brains. Untill they break down and realise that life can not be perfect. But, untill that moment nothing is normal. It’s all thoughts and dreams, then once it is realised it goes away. Then they can be a true being, which becomes themselves, or "normal" putting it into terms. If we didn’t charaterise, sterotype, or put people into groups, life might be easier. Or would it? Being clones in the same world. Could we live being the same size, same clothing, and same mindset, living the same lives? Perfection, it will never happen yet people strive for it. Working for nothing.......FUCK NOTHING!!!! School judges you by numbers and letters. We as people are described as a bunch of marbles, wages of payment teachers get each month. Is it working? Will we be nuumbers or letters for our whole lives? Or is it just a game? A game we can never win. What if i dont want to play? What if i want to be me, not a number or letter. A person.

Deadly Week On The Roads Concludes With Yet Another Fatal Crash Friday August 18, 2006 It's happened again. And for police, it's happened too often. Five people have been killed on G.T.A. roads in the last two days. The latest fatality happened Friday after a car and a van crashed head-on on Highway 27 at Nashville Road around 6:45am. The victim was just 19 years old. Police closed off parts of the highway around the crash scene as they investigated the tragic accident. On Thursday, 12-year-old William Gordon was killed when a tractor-trailer smashed into the back of his mother's car on Highway 401 near the Salem exit in Ajax. Traffic was moving slowly in the area due to construction and the rig was unable to stop in time. A 76-year-old Thornhill man was killed the same day when a man lost control of his pickup truck and swerved into oncoming traffic on Rutherford Road near Dufferin. A fourth fatality took place in a crash on Eastbound Highway 7 east of the 400. A man perished in that incident. And a 50-year-old Brampton man lost his life when his motorcycle crashed on Mayfield Road in Caledon. The car carnage has police shaking their heads and those worried about safety wondering what's causing it all. Marium Malik of All Nations Driving School thinks she knows what's behind it. She's been teaching safe driving for the past decade and sees it every year. "In the winter, drivers are careful because of storm and the snow and everything. In the summer they are more carefree. They don't expect things to happen to them if they are speeding out there. They are tailgating, driving bumper-to-bumper behind someone." Construction, which led to the accident that killed that young boy Thursday, is another problem. Many drivers are taken by surprise at the sudden slowdowns that sometimes crop up as they're tooling around at their normal speeds. Cops remind motorists the rules of the road are just that - and they don't change with the seasons. "Beautiful days...lead you into complacency where you don't put enough thought into driving," warns O.P.P. Cst. Graham Williamson. "All I can say is drive safely." He's hoping you'll follow that advice - while still leaving room for the guy in front of you. We Will Love You and Miss You Forever Baha <3 RIP Sweetie in the memory of our loved one, Baha Nassr who was born on October 28, 1986 and passed away on August 18, 2006 at the age of 19. We will remember him forever Baha passed away in a car crash at Highway 27 and Nashville Road at 6:45 am on his way to work. His tomb is in Israel. People visit the last known place he was alive frequently for respect. His accident was not publicized well, and some did not even know what had happened. Baha had fallen asleep at the wheel because he didn't have much sleep the night before. Let him be the light the encourages people to not drive when they are intoxicated or tired. He has changed my life especially for this. Baha, if I could turn, turn back the hands of time then you would still be here You were an amazing guy you will forever be missed!, you made everyone smile by your random jokes and always having a smile on your face....if someone was unhappy it was your first priority to make them crack a smile...i remember the frist day i met you like it was yesterday, at elgin mills and younge, i was with lina and i saw you holding rosies pit bull and i said to her "who the fuck is that guy i think im in love lol he is sooo hot", like an idiot i went on mmto hoping you had a profile and search guys who lived in r-hill and i found you messaged you and then you told me to add u on msn... we started talking and became friends...you were amazing! i WISH i met up with you that day you asked me to, the day before your death so i could have seen you smile for the last time unfortunitly you never know when a person's time comes and in my opinion your time came too soon... as everyone is saying "only the good die younge", you are a perfect example of this..but i guess god had bigger and better plans for you! he saw how wonderful you were and needed you to brighten other spirits up above. Even though you are not here physically, you will remain in our hearts for eternity... always and forever you have our love! You have my love! Love you always and forever! Until the day i die!












































































Myspace Music Video Codes

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS. 2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVER MY HEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. 3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO. 4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO. 5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. FILIBERTO'S BURRITO ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT. 6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. 7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME ANEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" 8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXTTO ME 9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER. 10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING. 11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY. 12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. 13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. 14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (er, or, the mop?) 15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..." 16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT. 17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES. 18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP. 19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK. 20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Okay, So I've been trying to get settled into my new house, It has been hell. Trying to arrange everything to the way you want it. Its just driving me up the wall. I moved to a diffrent city to get ready to go to College and I am hoping my boyfriend can change his ways. But as of right now he hasnt changed a tiny bit. All I can really do is give him some more time to get settled and shyt I guess. I just hope things can work between us because just throwing away a four year ralationship isnt to easy. I try and build up the guts to leave him but I can't. I know so many people are trying to help me and I apreciate it but I just can't. I love him to much. It may sound really stupid but after spending a four year relantionship with someone its really hard to do. Well i'll update more later. I still have lots to say but I also still have lots to do around the house

Okay, So i've been with this guy for a little bit over four years now. He has his good points to him and obviously he has his bad. Who doesnt? Well anyways. I love this guy with all my heart, He means the world to me if not more. He has cheated on me so many times but it doesn't make me not love him any less. What do I seem to be dooing wrong here? try and give him whatever he needs (sexually) or any other way possible I can. but it doesn't seem good enough, Well yesterday he left for work at 12Pm. everything was find and dandy well that's a big news flash for me because he hasnt returned home sense. I havent heard one little peep from him. I have everyone after my ass saying I don't deserve this kinda treatment, But what kinda treatment do I really deserve? Like honestly. I may not be perfect in every way, But I try to do the best I can like come on not everyone in this world is perfect. But getting back to people telling me to leave him. I would if I could. It might sound really stupid but I don't think i'm good enough for anyone eles. i've gotten so use to his hateful words towards me that I think it's a normal relantionship going on. He says no one will love him as much as he loves me, So your telling me this is how you show love to people you really do love? Wow that's funny, I thought you shared everything with the person you love who you want to spend your whole life with but then again I could be highly mistaking. Yea sure he is the only one I've EVER been with. Maybe I don't understand the meaning of love yet. who knows? But anyways. I try to do everything for this man. the reason he gave me as of why he keeps cheating on me is because of his mother's death. Okay I understand that when you lose someone as close as that it can send your mind into diffrent emotions, I've been through it. Done it. But why would you go sleep with any other person possible knowing it's gonna hurt your loved ones. I've noticed alot of men have small minds (No offence) but how can someone's mind be that small? Yes, maybe I should leave him, yes maybe I should move on and let someone eles into my life knowing they could treat me alot better but honestly I don't know how to turn my feelings off that quickly. If you love someone like you truely do say so then you can't turn your feelings off of that person like turning a light switch off and on. It just doesnt work that way. Yea maybe I deserve someone that doesn't hurt me and everyway but deep down inside I really think this guy can change. But who am I kidding? if someone does it once they're gonna keep doing it. Well i guess this is the end. Sorry if it doesn't make to much sense and please dont send me stupid comments about how stupid this blog really is, you didnt have to read it I just needed some where to vent