Two by Two
I checked out the “Book of Phobias” and there just didn’t seem to be “one-a-phobia”, or unaphobia, or whatever you want to call it. But I’m sure it must be there under some name or other, I mean, have you ever noticed that with most people, here in the States anyway, (No John, this isn’t a reason to pick on us Yanks), everything has to be in pairs, or three, sometimes four, or more? It must have started in the Book of Genesis with Noah, you know; “Bring the animals two by two”, or something to that effect.
Take a look at something as common as a kitchen table, or a counter, what do you see? Salt and pepper, not just salt but salt and pepper. Has to be two. Two slices of bread for that sandwich…two headlights on the car. We’ve just gotten used to two, unless, of course, you want to be “Number One”, then it’s okay, but not just one.
How about baseball? Three strikes and you’re out, four balls and you walk, three outs and the inning is over.
Here’s a prime example: the other day I was at my doctor’s and he told me that he wanted me to take baby aspirin.
“Why baby aspirin?” I asked.
“Because,” He explained, “It’s only 80 mg and I want you to take one a day. It’s best for your heart.”
The moments stretched out between us as I stared at him in astonishment.
“Can you buy that in 40 mg?” I asked.
“Why?” He looked at me quizzically.
“They’re aspirin Doc,” I explained, “You gotta take two at a time! One at a time? It’s… it’s just…un-American!” (Okay, you can pick on that one).
It’s up bringing, some things you just shouldn’t change.
“Take two pills and call me in the morning.” Wasn’t that what they always said?
Something else I noticed. I spend my day making construction drawings and down in the corner, where I number my drawings, it’s 01, 02, and 03 not just 1, 2, 3 but zero-one, zero-two, zero-three. When I noticed that lately I had to ask myself “Why? Am I afraid that that single digit will get lonely and depressed?”
Another thing with numbers, did you notice how the news went on and on about the, once-in-a-hundred-years, lucky date this year? It was 07-07-07, not just 7-7-7 but zero-seven/zero-seven/zero-seven. In some ways that 7-7-7 looks better but when it’s a date we just can’t do it, it’s gotta be 07-07-07.
Okay, I will admit that there are some things that look better in pairs; a beautiful pair of eyes, a perky pair of… ahem, better not go there… although...
