After a restless night you shut the alarm off and, immediately, go back to sleep. Then, being in a rush to get to work you take your coffee to work with you and, as luck would have it, the guy in front of you stops short and you end up with your coffee down the front of you and warming the parts of you you’d prefer not to discuss. Now you’re late for work and, will the boss believe the real reason; or will you make up an excuse? Well, things happen and you’re not alone.
According to a survey sixteen percent of workers say they are late for work at least once a week. (Holy S***! I wouldn’t have the huevos for that one.) One-in-four admit to making up phony excuses for their tardiness.
Being on both sides of that fence I’ve heard, and made up, some pretty good reasons for walking in late. They vary from forgetting something at home to feeling a little sick “When I got up, but I’m okay now.” (As that one turned out, he was hung-over from the night before. I told him the next time not to bother coming in at all… ever! I can be a real butt when I want to be.) Thirty-one percent of late-comers blame traffic, 16 percent fell back to sleep, (Hey! That’s my excuse!), and 8 percent blamed the kids being slow getting ready for school.
Forty-one percent of men say they’ve never been late for work in their current job as opposed to 37 percent of the ladies. (Shame, shame ladies.) 78 percent of the men just tell the truth of their tardiness; where as 72 percent of the women tell the truth. (Ah hah! I knew it!)
Most people that make up reasons do that because they fear the repercussions for telling the boss the real reason. (I spilled that coffee in my lap, burned the hell out of my...you know, and had to go home and change.)
As it turns out, it doesn’t matter really, most bosses don’t care as long as your work is done on time and is of good quality. On the other hand, one-in-five will only give you three strikes per year, excuses being good or bad, and you're out. Here’s the best one, 27 percent of them don’t believe you anyway!
Anyway, what I really wanted you to see is this; here are the top 10 examples of the most unusual excuses employees offered their managers for arriving late to work:
1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what "really" happened.
3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
6. I was up all night arguing with God.
7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around... so I got out of the car.
Arguing with Who about feeling what when a which jumped in your car? Oh well, you gotta love these people... then fire them!
