This Is The Week That Was For 07/16/07
“Born Free, Run Free”
Russell Rotta of Blackman Township, Michigan, was sentenced to 30 days, 24 months probation and $1,500 in fines last Tuesday for jogging. Jogging you ask? Yep, for jogging.
Unfortunately, for Rotta, he likes to jog wearing a stocking cap, gloves and reflective tape on his arms, ankles waist and thighs.
Rotta was busted when some silly caller reported seeing a naked man running in the southbound lanes of U.S. Highway 127. (Some people just can’t mind their own business.)
Anyway, Rotta told police that he didn’t do this to get some sort of sexual gratification, or anything like that. Running in the nude just gave him some sort of high; he’d been doing this since he was a teenager. He said he usually jogged in open fields and wooded areas so as not to alarm anyone. (Oops, I don’t think a U.S. Highways passes as a wooded area.)
“I do wonder though, does he wear reflector tape on his… phallic? On the other hand that may be a good place for a mitten.”
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Coombyah?
A group of friends in Washington D.C. were just finishing a late dinner when an intruder walked in, put a gun to a 14 year-old girl’s head and said, “Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting!”
Everybody froze when, not sure what else to do, one of the guests offered him some wine. Soon he was having wine, (Chateau Malescot St-Exupery), and indulging himself with some Camembert cheese.
Now, this is where it really gets strange; after some good wine and the cheese, the intruder says, “I think I may have came to the wrong house, can I get a hug?”
Soon the dinner party and the would-be thief were in a big ol’ group hug. A few moments later the intruder left with the crystal wine glass in hand, nothing else was taken.
When he was out of site they locked the doors and dialed 911.
“And just which, may I ask, crime did they report? ‘Assault with a friendly gesture’?”
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You Thought This Was Where?
Fremont Correctional Institute, (a state prison), near Canon City, Colorado, got a surprise visit last Tuesday. 25 military paratroopers did a great landing inside the perimeter of the prison grounds.
No, they weren’t there to put down a riot nor were they there to pull off some sort of breakout. Not that at all, they just, quite literally, screwed up… or would that be screwed down?
Anyway, the prison guards politely escorted them off the grounds with out incident.
The investigation into the incident is under way and it seems the guards did the right thing. The Army and the Air Force deny any knowledge of the episode; the National Guard won’t return any calls.
“I know! Call Nancy Pelosi; maybe the Democrats are forming their own army to fight the President’s army!”
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And That Was The Week That Was for 07/16/07.
Now, y’all have a good week and remember… that’s the military that’s protecting us all.
If that doesn’t make you feel any better, remember this, “Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.”
