I don't know about you but, I have a bug up my ass the size of giant millipede and it's about traffic. Every day I deal with people who aparantly lose their intelligence when they get behind the wheel of a car. SOme act like it's the first time they've set foot outside their house and it happens to behind the wheel of a car. I sometimes can see the road rager's side of things. If you're like me, you probably have invented a few new words to be added to the English vocabulary. I have classified some of these jagoffs in a fe categories, some I created, some that already exist.
Green Light Uncertainty:
These people will sit through a green light in what appears to a sad tale of them not kowing what a green light means. They either act like the light will remain green forver and can go when they fucing feel like it or they don't know what a green light means. IF you do not know what a green light means, watch sesame street one time without being swtoned and maybe you'll learn you fuckhead. Sesame Street is a prgram geared to an age group that isn't old enough to drive and most of that demographic can't even see above the dashboard, yet they know green means go. Green means go not when you fucking feel like it but go now you horse fucking son of a a bitch. It pisses me off when I'm behind two cars who do not go at a green light and still refuse to move when I've started honking my horn in sync with the words that are coming out of my mouth. I am of the firm belief that if you do not know what to do at a green light, you have no fucking business driving a car. Do everyone else a favor and let someone else drive. It will save a lot of anger.
Rubber Neckers:
OK, I understand the human urge to look at gruesome things we see on the side of the road. When you have t-shirts and posters glorifying road kill, that kind of shows we as humans have a morbid curiosity. However, when the road is clear and it's rush hour, do us a favor and come back and see it there are some of us who need to be somewhere and are already late. You are infuriating many a folk behind you. I doubt that you will change your ways but Robert Tilton is praying for you and will make sure you change your ways if you donate $1000 to his ministry.
People who act like it is their first time out of the house:
Hey, first I want to congratulate you for finally gaining the courage to emerge from the fortress and sactity of your house. I find it an amuzing coinience that it happens to be behind the wheel of a car. Yes, the world outside is a very interesting and happening place. However, if you feel the urge to stop at every point along your trael, pull over and enjoy the brisk air and scenery. It really bugs the shit out of me when I'm held up because someon hasn't seena cop car or ambulance before. Once you've seen a few, you will grow weary of their novelty. The only thing you have to do is move out of their way when their lights are flashing and their sirens are blaring. Just don't hold up traffic for doing so.
Decimal point speed limit drivers
This is a problem tha plagues many a preceived law abiding folk. They don't want to exceed the speed limit yet they fail to realise that the dot between the numbers is a bolt holding the sign on its post and not a decimal point. Remember buttface, the speed limit is 55 ont 5.5. The worst of these offenders commit this travesty in either a no passing lane or when there's a shit load of traffic coming from the other direction. It may not be a speedway but don't make me go Kurt Busch on your ass.
Well, I've identfied the problems now it's time to find solutions. et me know what you think folks
