Insane MelodyPanda's blog: "Just thinking"

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Don't  you feel it's strange sometimes  when  you think you have made good friends, you'd thought they  would be there for a while??Yes,  Being on vacation and staying up late @ night   with no one up and around me.. Just makes  me  wonder on   the who and what....
Most of the time it  is hard for me to stay in touch because the only thing  lately  for me in my life is just grief..  I  don't  want to go to a friends page  and  just  whine and bitch....When I  don't have anything else to say at the moment.
Some just figured  I am just too weird,,, Well,  and some  just figured they would get  one thing from me...If I don't have much to say except having whining issues,which is most days lately.. I just  stop by   their  page to let them know I was there.. Just to say "Hey.Friend.. it's me... just saying hi and thinking about you...
Granted a few aren't as close as we were..Sadden by that..  but it  doesn't cloud meReally, just because I might seem  annoying online  at times... people  tend to drift..I am really trying to joke.. Sorry.. I am not feminine enough for some..And I have  word things differently   that makes  people confuse or astray
I never intentionally want to hurt anybody..If I have.. Sorry..
Sorry   to some  who think they wanted me to be.Sorry to some that I don't act tough nor mean..
I am not sorry...  For  who I am  and what I love to do..I am not sorry   for the people I care  for..I am not  sorry for your own  mistake
I am not  sorry That I won't change for you..If you love/like me (Yes, I love all my friends who are there..  and  say hi.. thinking of ya..in their tiny  way)
If you  don't... Your problem... NOT mine... and  you weren't a friend after all.. to thatI am sorry  for letting YOU  hurt me... and since you are/did...You made a mistake
This is not just for one in particular,,,, but if you think it is you??? What are you gonna do...Continue to hurt the ones that do care for you?  IF  so... F.U.  You  just wasted a friendship....I'll find  out and when I do...GOODBYE
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