today as i went through the motions of every day
suck air ,go there, be here, and so on..
i was forced to evaluate my life
having nothing else to think about
i had good parents growing up
went to the preppy private school
went to community college then university
was quite popular
apparently when your fat it pays to be funny
but i cant recall ever being sad
till today...
i came to think about how..
i was never picked first
i asked my date to prom
i didnt get kissed till i was 17
i was in 2 relationships
the first not even till i was 22
i have only ever had 2 sexual partners
ive been in like a few times
in love 2 times
and either picked last or not picked at all
every time
im sure to some this may sound like the "poor fat girl whose self esteem is low and self worth questioned and self respect put out there for the world to see"
but its quite the opposite
i have loved the best,although his love wasnt returned
i have visited far away places
i am educated
i am up on top the ladder in the corporate world
i am me
i am still fat and funny
i am still educated and whitty
i am successful
but im also still last or not picked
i love someone whole heartedly
yet to them im just a name in the passing
today i celebrate my accomplishments
yet i also mourn a broken heart
today...
my soul cried.
