Tonights the night i take my life
ill slit my wrists with the blade of a knife
im sorry for the pain that this will cause you
im sorry for all the sweet things i didnt do
ive defied death once and again
but now its me who puts life to an end
i just cant go on living like this
this army life its all bullshit
my girls tellin me things i dont wanna hear
all adding up to one huge fear
ironic enough life can be
to kill my pain i must kill me
create new pain to take pain away
should i fail try again another day
the darkness and despair, the desolation of my hell
all so you all can keep living well
standing isolated under the strom
all the feelings for me are a norm
the rain falls down as im soaked to the bone
all i want is to just go home
ive fallen apart, im torn inside
just finishing the job, ive already died
keep gettin so close, keep gettin disarmed
they keep popping up so i cant be harmed
so i sit again alone, cold, and waiting
every minute, every second, i keep hating
everytime i try, i see that look in your eyes
something stops me in which i cannont deny
the times we spent the memories we share
i know you still love me and that you still care
my friends and my family are why im still on earth
because of them ill deal with this curse
if it wasnt for them i wouldnt be here
id confirm their biggest fears
theyd be dissapointed, the would be mad
the would be tearful, they would be sad
they need to know they make me survive
if it werent for them i wouldnt be alive
i love them all more then life itself
which is why ill maintain my health
now is the time i need them most
so far away but i know theyre so close
my family surrounds me but i call them angels
but when im away my lifes so painful
just for them ill keep holding on
they may not survive once im gone
who i am today is all because of them
i owe them my whole life once again
all i can do is sit and stare
in disbelief of how much they care
im not perfect but im perfect for them
so here ill stay, waiting yet again
Dustin B. Unrath may
