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WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE A MAN & HAVE SOME BALLS & KEEP IT REAL TO ME?! WHY DO I HAVE TO THINK/FEEL THAT YOUR ASS JUST GOT CAUGHT? I'VE ASKED YOU PLENTY OF TIMES, BUT YET YOU TELL ME SOME BS EXCUSE I JUST DON'T GET! SMH NOW I HAVE DOUBTS ON YOU & THERE'S BARELY ANY TRUST SO WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES OF ANY KIND SO WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE DIFFERENT? I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS FROM YOU IT'S HURTS TO MUCH TO JUST EVEN THINK IT, FEEL IT, & WRITE IT, BUT I HAVE TO B/C THAT'S WHEN I KNOW THIS IS REALITY I SWEAR WHEN AM I EVER GOING TO HAVE SOME PEACE WITH THIS SHIT?! I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WAS EVER GOING TO BE FEELING THIS WAY ACTUALLY I WAS HOPING THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TOO CUZ I THOUGHT WE'RE OLDER SO THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT & BETTER BOY WAS I MISTAKEN I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYMORE, BUT I KNOW THAT TIME HEALS WOUND I JUST WISH THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG ONCE AGAIN WHY ME?!......

SO WE FINALLY TALKED ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS, BUT YET I STILL HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT YOU & ABOUT WHAT WE ARE & SUCH IT REALLY SUX B/C I THOUGHT BY NOW THINGS WOULD BE MORE CLEAR APPARENTLY I WAS MISTAKEN NOW THERE'S JUST ONE ? THAT'S STUCK ON MY MIND & THAT IS WHAT SHOULD I THINK OR FEEL NOW? A PART OF ME THINKS THAT I SHOULD SEE HOW THINGS GO, BUT ANOTHER PART OF ME ISN'T SURE OF WHAT TO THINK/FEEL SO THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO HARD TO CHOOSE WHAT TO DO WHY THINGS HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! IF ONLY.....

FEELING SO LOST & CONFUSED IS A VERY COMPLEX FEELING CUZ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR WHAT TO FEEL ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING IT'S LIKE A DAZE THAT TAKES YOU AWAY FROM REALITY & TAKES YOU TO YOUR OWN WORLD/ZONE SOMETIMES YOU QUESTION YOURSELF IS THIS REALLY REAL OR IS THIS AN ILLUSION? EITHER WAY FOR THAT MOMENT IT MAKES YOU SEE THINGS THAT YOU NEVER WILL EVER EXPECT PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHY THEIR OWN WORLD PUTS A SMILE ON THEIR FACES & I SAY IS THIS WHEN A PERSON IS THERE EVERYTHING ELSE MEANS NOTHING @ THAT MOMENT EXCEPT TRYING TO FIND THAT ONE THING & THAT'S HAPPINESS WHEN YOU HAVE THAT THEN YOU KNOW THAT THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE & BE RIGHT, BUT THEN REALITY KICKS IN & THEN YOU WONDER SHIT ALL THAT WAS A DREAM WHY? I GUESS THE THOUGHT WILL ALWAYS REMAIN IN OUR MINDS AS TO WHY WE JUST CAN'T HAVE IT ALL?!......

WHEN I FEEL THAT YOU'RE BEING DISTANT FROM ME IT MAKES ME WONDER WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU DO THIS TO ME?! DOES THIS ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD INSIDE FOR THE CONFUSION THAT THIS MAKES ME DEEP DOWN INSIDE? YOU BEING SO QUIET & NOT EXPRESSING YOURSELF TO ME MAKES ME THINK TWICE ABOUT YOU CUZ I'LL ALWAYS WONDER CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT YOU, US, & WHAT WE SUPPOSEDLY HAVE I DON'T GET THE MIXED SIGNALS I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE, BUT APPARENTLY I WAS MISTAKEN IT'S SO SAD THOUGH CUZ HAVING SOMEWHAT OF FALSE CAN MAKE A PERSON GO CRAZY & THAT'S WHERE THE SADNESS & HEARTACHE STARTS TO FORM I TRULY HOPE THAT I'M WRONG FOR THINKING & FEELING THIS WAY IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE & HEAR FROM WHERE I'M COMING FROM WITH THIS UNTIL THEN THE ONLY THING THAT YOU KNOW IS THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE B/C THAT'S HOW YOU SEE IT.....

WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES I SEE A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS
IT MAKES ME THINK WHY DO I SEE THIS? IS IT A SIGN? OR IS IT JUST
MY EYES PLAYING TRICKS ON ME? ALL OF THESE THINGS I SEE TELLS
ME SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I JUST GO, BUT THE TRUTH BEHIND IT
ALL IS THAT YOUR EYES WON'T TELL ME, EXCEPT YOUR WORDS WILL
THEY SAY DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER, BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER
IS IT SO BAD TO DO THAT? WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, BUT THEN AGAIN
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY SHOULD I BOTHER? ALL I KNOW IS THAT WHEN
I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES I SEE DIFFERENT THINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT'S
BEEN GOING ON I'M HERE & I'LL ALWAYS BE UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE.....

how do u make someone that u really love & care about believe u with anything that u tell them or show them?? why does being in love have to hurt soo much?? i dont understand that does anybody have any advice or suggestions
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