7 kinds of sex Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "fuck you." The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on. NOW REMEMBER IF YOU DON'T REPOST THIS YOUR NIPPLES WILL FALL OFF, AND EVERY PENGUIN IN THE WORLD WILL BE CLUBBED TO DEATH WITH A SHOE.

Little johney was taken a shower with his mom and he looked down at her bush and he said mommy whats that why is it there. well johney thats my sponge thats there to keep me clean.well later that night johney's mom and dad decided have some fun but johney's dad wanted her to shave off her bush and she did. well the next day johney was taken a shower with his mom again and he looked down and said mommy what happend to your spongey thing it's gone what did you do with it. well john it got dirty so i got rid of it i threw it out the window it's gone now.so the very next day little johney come running in the house yelling and screaming mommy mommy i just found your sponge the neighbor lady miss smith was washing daddy's face with it.!!!!!!!!!!

This is to all of the guys in the world who can't accept girls for who they are: I'm sorry That I'm not enough of a slut to sleep with you on a first date I'm sorry That my ass isn't big enough to "satisfy" your needs I'm sorry that I'm not anorexic and skinny enough for you to see my ribs I'm sorry That I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl" I'm sorry That I'm not a Playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you I'm sorry I don't have a dream body that turns you on But most of all I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry" If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I appreciate you"

pink Condom: want someone thats to far away Green XL Magnium Condom: Single, Looking For the right Someone Orange Condom: Taken Red Condom: Single!!!! black Condom: Taken And Lovin every minute of it Purple Condom: Taken and confused Teal Condom: Crushing On Someone and Scared to tell them Blue Condom: Like someone who doesn't like you back Yellow Condom: Single and like someone, but confused as to whether they like you back or not Trojan Condom: Like someone who likes you back but not going out....YET!!! clear condom: they broke up with you, but still have feelings for them No Condom: I WISH A dumbassss muthafucca would appear at my got damn bed in da middle of the muthafuccin night while im tryin ta sleep an try to kill mee i'll BEAT the muthfuccas ass got damn bring yo knife on muthafucca i aint scurred of yo shittt

girl is on the couch making out with a hot guy, her cellphone rings... Girl:Hey babe, I'll be right back. I need to take this call. Boy: Yeah okay. Sure. She walks into the next room. Girl: Hey! What's up? Guy [on her cellphone]: Nothing, hey hun, do you think we could go do something later tonight? What are the chances my boss let me get out early. Girl: Yeah, sounds great! Guy [on her cellphone]: Okay. I'm right by your house, I'll come to get you now. Girl: That's not such a good idea... Guy [on her cellphone]: Why not? Girl: I'm busy right now... sorry. Guy [on her cellphone]: With what? It's our anniversary! You didn't make any other plans did you...? In her head she yells, SHIT! Throws clothes back on quickly. Girl: No No... I was just eating... with the family. Guy [on her cellphone]: But I thought you said your family was away this weekend, up at your resort? The guy walks into her house, turns the corner into the hallway. Goes downstairs, and finds his bestfriend on her couch, half un-dressed, trying to pull his pants back on and his girlfriend pulling her shirt over her head. Guy: What the hell is going on?! Girl: I can explain! Please listen to me! Guy: Benny? How could you do this to me! Rachel! I thought you loved me! And yet, your sleeping with MY BEST FRIEND!!!! Girl: John...! John with tears in his eyes, he rushes out of room, and slams the door. Benny climbs out of the window, starts his car, and drives off down the street. Girl runs after her boyfriend. Yelling... Girl: NOOOO! Please!! Come back John!! Pleeeeeasssse????!! She falls down and cries. John turns around, looks straight at his girlfriend in tears. John: Why? Rachel, why? I loved you! Oh my God, I'm in love with a whore. Does this mean I have to pay you now?! Here take this as the cash. He drops a ring box on her lap. She opens the ring box. Her jaw drops... Before her eyes is a diamond wedding ring. Girl: You were going to propose? Guy: Yeah... how dumb was I? And as he slowly walked back to his car, his headlights faded... And she was in despair. Later that night, the girl got a phone call from the police saying he just jumped off the bridge and killed himself. If you love/like someone, and you want them in your life forever. Repost in 380 seconds as "cheating sucks."CHEATIN SUCKS

Everything has been said before There's nothing left to say anymore When it's all the same You can ask for it by name Babble babble bitch bitch Rebel rebel party party Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence" Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in: Everybody sing along. Babble babble bitch bitch Rebel rebel party party Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence" Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in: Everybody sing, Are you motherfuckers ready For the new shit? Stand up and admit, tomorrow's never coming. This is the new shit. Stand up and admit. Do we get it? No. Do we want it? Yeah. This is the new shit, Stand up and admit. Babble babble bitch bitch Rebel rebel party party Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence" Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in: Everybody sing along. Everything has been said before There's nothing left to say anymore When it's all the same You can ask for it by name, Are you motherfuckers ready For the new shit? Stand up and admit, tomorrow's never coming. This is the new shit. Stand up and admit. Do we get it? No. Do we want it? Yeah. This is the new shit, Stand up and admit. And now it's "you know who" I got the "you know what" I stick it "you know where" You know why, you don't care. And now it's "you know who" I got the "you know what" I stick it "you know where" You know why, you don't care. Babble babble bitch bitch Rebel rebel party party Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence" Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in: Everybody sing. Are you motherfuckers ready For the new shit? Stand up and admit, tomorrow's never coming. This is the new shit. Stand up and admit. Do we get it? No. Do we want it? Yeah. This is the new shit, Stand up and admit. So, LET US ENTERTAIN YOU LET US ENTERTAIN YOU... Blah blah blah blah everybody sing along.

What cuss words really mean.......... The mom calls the husband a "bastard" and then the dad calls the wife a "bitch" and billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a bitch and a bastard?" and the mom says "well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen" and then later billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!" So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a penis and vagina?" His moms says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat" and then later billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "Shit" and billy said "Dad, whats shit" And then his dad says "Well billy, Shit is a type of Shaving cream " and then billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "fuck!" and then billy says to his mom "Mom whats fuck?" "Well billy fuck is a way cutting the turkey" and Then later the guests arrive and billy goes to them and says "Hello bitches and bastards, may i take your penis's and vaginas, my dad's upstairs wiping shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the Turkey"

When u break a girls heart, She still feels it when U run into each other 3 years later When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind. Including you. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, She is wondering about things. Like if your deeply thinking about her, if you care for her at all, or how long you will be around. When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she is not at all fine. When a girl stares at you, She is wondering why. Why you are the way you are, why things happened the way they did, and why she still cares. When a girl lays her head on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a girl says that she can't live without you, She has made up her mind that you are her future. When a girl says, "I miss you, " No one in this world can miss you more than that When a girl is mean to you after a breakup She wants you back, But she's scared she'll get hurt And knows you're gone forever Guy Facts: When a guy calls you, He wants to be with you When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you... When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, He means it When a guy stares at you, He wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do When you're laying your head on a guy's chest, He has the world When a guy calls you everyday, He is in love When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, He means it When a guy says he can't live without you, He's with you till your done When a guy says, "I miss you, " He misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else Repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you post this as IF YOUR A GUY "WHEN A GUY MISSES YOU" AND IF YOUR A GIRL POST IT AS "when a girl misses u

Sky is blue Water is wet I'll make you cum I'll make you sweat Pressed up against my body Movin up and down Slowly but firmly We'll move the ground Kissing Is A Habit Fucking Is A Game Guys Get All The Pleasure Girls Get All The Pain 10 Minutes Of Pleasure 9 Months Of Pain 3 Days In The Hospital A Baby Without A Name The Baby Is A Bastard The Mother Is A Whore This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn't Tore!! Sex is like math You subtract the clothes Add the bed Divide the legs And Pray to god You dont multiply Roses are red Grass is green Open your legs And I'll fill you with cream Hickory dickory dock This bitch was suckin my cock The clock struck two I dumped my goo And dumped her to the end of the block Sex is good Sex is fine Doggy Style & 69 Just for fun Or gettin paid Everyone likes gettin laid Sex is evil Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in!!! roses are nice violets are fine. ill be the six if you be the nine.

You gave me life, put your love in my heart,
Now God's cut it to short, and it's time for us to part.
With my memories few, each one I bless,
I'll keep you in my dreams, where you can let your love rest.

Each day I'll confide to you, how I feel inside,
I'll try to make you proud, while I try not to cry.
With my head to my knees, and flowers to my chest,
I lay them down slowly, on the grave in which you rest.



Michelle was pregnant with a baby boy and went into preterm labor. She was only 21 weeks 4 days along so the doctors didn't do anything to help her baby live. He died after only precious 41 minutes. She set up a memorial fund to help pay for the tombstone that her family can't afford to buy. If you can, please help this girl. She has gone through enough pain, help her get a tombstone so she can feel like her baby is resting in peace. Anything will help, even if it's only a dollar.

Here is Brenden's story:

"July 7th I slept all day and woke up at 9 and went to the bathroom. I started to bleed really bad. I didn't even feel any cramping, but I guess I was already having contractions by then. I started to beg for God not to take him away, not now. I didn't want to lose him now. It was to early, his life hadn't even begun. Plus he was my baby, and this WASN'T supposed to happen to me. I knew it happened to other people, but I thought since I was being so careful that it wouldn't happen to me. I felt him kick one last time. I cried and cried and called 911. I got to the hospital around 10:30 and was bleeding heavier and heavier. Since I wasn't 18 it took forever for them to check me out. I had to wait for my uncle to get there to sign some permission forms. Finally a doctor came in and checked me out and said they could feel the sac when she put her hand there and there was nothing they could do because I was already 10 cm dialated. They couldn't sowe me back up because that would cause infection and could maybe kill the baby if they did that. They gave me medicine to stop contractions because they were getting worse and closer by the minute.. Lasting longer each time. I kept begining for them to let me hear his heartbeat so finally they got me strapped to a heart monitor and at first the nurse took forever to find it so by then I was bawling more figuring he had already passed inside me.. Finally she found it. It wasn't strong, but it wasn't weak, but you could tell that his heart beat would rise up and then decline back down between periods. I laid in that room while the nurses went to talk to doctors and just prayed and prayed. I BEGGED. I was all alone besides my uncle who was in the other room filling out papers for me and trying to get a hold of my mom. He came in the room before he went to go get my mom at work and told me to think positive and then everything would be okay. I did exactly that and tried to forget everything that was going on and just rubbed my tummy and told him things would be okay. They finally put me into my own room, which was HUGE. They gave me more medicine which felt like I got drunk right away. They laid my head down and raised my feet up as high as the bed could go.. They were trying their best to keep him to stay in longer. He was only 21 weeks and 4 days old. They don't consider babies viable to live until 24 weeks, maybe 23. They were trying to keep him in there for 2 weeks longer and start giving me steroids to make his lungs develop more. I thought the medicine that was making my contractions slower were actually working, because I didn't have as many contractions as I did. Plus when I was watching the screen when my Mom and Mitchell was asleep the lines kept getting smaller and smaller showing they were decreasing. But things took a turn for the worse at 5:00 a.m. I yelled for the nurse because I had a HUGE contraction. It hurt so bad, and I could feel him trying to make his way out. By the time she got in there he was already halfway out and not even a minute later he was born. 5:04 am. I cried and cried because before he was born they had a neonatal nurse come in and she told me that they weren't going to help him survive just because he was too tiny and he probably wouldn't make it anyways. I just didn't understand it. He came out and was breathing on his own. They took him to the little baby station beside me and washed him up and put some clothes on and let me and Mitchell hold him. I could see him fighting to breathe. He even moved his fingers a couple of times grasping them..I put my thumb down there and he held on. Mitchell was holding him when the nurse asked if she could check his heartbeat and that's when she said he didn't have one anymore. He fought to live for 41 minutes without any help from any medical doctors. I feel that they should have atleast tried, because what if he was that ONE miracle baby who could have been the first to survive that early? They don't know, and now they will never know. I got my answers to why it happened. They said I had a Incompetent Cervix and that it was weak. Next time I get pregnant I have to get stitches called a Cerplsy or something like that to make sure the next baby will at least stays full term or to a point where they know him/her could survive. But the thing is I don't want another baby, I want this baby back. I want my Brenden back. I wish I could go back and take more pictures, because I delayed.. I didn't take that many pictures when I was pregnant. I wish I would have took more pictures of Brenden now that I look back on it. I feel that I don't have enough. The only thing that will make me feel complete right now is to get his tombstone."

Here is Brenden's Page in case you can donate anything to his fund.
Please help if you can, any little amount will help. (repost of original by 'Off to bed, Night everyone!' on '2006-09-20 05:17:47') (repost of original by 'Įm â ßÅŖβΊĒ Ġĩ༠ŀn ǎ ßÅŖβΊ' on '2006-09-20 05:22:02') (repost of original by '£ô©o™' on '2006-09-20 05:28:54') (repost of original by 'Tazzyhttp://lostcherry.com/lounge.php?l=1696#' on '2006-09-20 05:36:22') (repost of original by 'MLady Tina, Sir Forrest Love' on '2006-09-20 05:37:45') (repost of original by '~Candy~' on '2006-09-20 05:54:54') (repost of original by 'See I'ma pill popper' on '2006-09-20 05:56:23') (repost of original by 'Faerie Majik' on '2006-09-20 06:01:20') (repost of original by '♥Malibu Stacy♥' on '2006-09-20 06:15:07') (repost of original by 'Koogerbabe' on '2006-09-20 06:22:36') (repost of original by 'playful_pussy' on '2006-09-20 06:41:26') (repost of original by 'graywolf_200245' on '2006-09-20 06:50:27') (repost of original by 'Heavens Tears' on '2006-09-20 06:57:46') (repost of original by 'devilchick' on '2006-09-20 07:34:08') (repost of original by 'Heather-fucking-tastic' on '2006-09-20 07:39:52') (repost of original by 'hotjody' on '2006-09-20 08:19:16') (repost of original by 'trish' on '2006-09-20 08:49:47') (repost of original by 'Lucky Chance' on '2006-09-20 08:55:51') (repost of original by 'Queenie' on '2006-09-20 09:24:11') (repost of original by 'YOURE A CRAZY BITCH, BUT YOU FUCK SO GOOD, IM ON TOP OF IT......' on '2006-09-20 10:01:30') (repost of original by 'rob' on '2006-09-20 10:04:54') (repost of original by 'Wet Dreams' on '2006-09-20 10:11:33') (repost of original by 'Big-E' on '2006-09-20 11:47:50') (repost of original by 'EvilAngyl' on '2006-09-20 11:56:08') (repost of original by 'riggs' on '2006-09-20 13:55:45')